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Title: Licentious Legends
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Usopp, Zoro, Sanji
Word Count: 235
Topic: tenticles
A/N: Made in the U.S.A. with 100% pure fail! ^_^b

“I found myself bound to the unforgiving stone, cruelly chained hand and foot and left to the mercy of …” Usopp paused dramatically, giving his captive audience a moment to inhale, lean forward, start to shiver with anticipation…

“Nssrakuli of the Thousand Limbs!” The name dredged up images from the shadows of the sea, of places where monsters made their homes and even demi-gods dared not tread.

“The legend of Nssrakuli says that the ancient beast could only be appeased with the monthly sacrifice of a ravishingly handsome young man.”

“But you were there, so they had to make due.”

“DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS STORY OR NOT?”

“Tch. Whatever.”

“Beyond the sound of the waves I could hear it, sliding its gelatinous flesh up the crumbling cliff. Sssuulllluooop-pop. Sssuullluooop-pop. In the threadbare moonlight I could just make out the vague shape of its throbbing, questing appendages, seeking out my body heat like a moth seeks the flame…”

“…eeeh! Zoro…are you…?!”

“Can it, shit cook.” A thin line of pink marred Zoro’s visage; he glared at his two companions, but the flush didn’t fade. Before Usopp could continue his tale, Sanji couldn’t help but add one more jibe.

“Figures you’d be a tako-freak. Perv.”

The Legend of Nssrakuli was lost in the ensuing scuffle. Usopp, however, later found himself the victim of another throbbing, questing appendage. But that is a tale for another time.

I'll do better next time, I promise! >>;;;