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[jensa-chan.livejournal.com]

Title: Dirty Dancin'
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and really sexy dancing
Word Count: 298
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro, Sanji/Usopp
Topic: Sanji wins

Like most of Zoro's insults and observations, it came completely out of the blue. There was probably some Zoro-logic to it, of course. It usually just eluded everyone else.

"Hn. You can kick with those scrawny things, but I'd bet the hypno-freak could out-dance you."

Sanji gave Zoro an incredulous look, which was met with a flat stare. "You're joking, right?"

The flat stare didn't waver. Sanji grinned at him the same way he grinned at a particularly challenging dish, and proceeded to show Zoro exactly how wrong he was.

What followed would be spoken of by the Strawhats present that day with various mixtures of horror, amusement, and longing. They all tried to find words to describe it; ‘sinful’, ‘insane’, ‘erotic’, ‘sexy as fuckin’ hell’, and ‘orgasm-inducing’ were usually the words of choice. All of them fell short of capturing just how much better Sanji was at dancing and using his hips than Jango was.

Finally the blond stopped, chest heaving and face flushed from a combination of excitement and sheer exertion. Zoro… Sanji fought down a surge of demented glee. Zoro looked like he’d been plowed over by a train after his dead girlfriend had shown up and given him a blowjob. Was that a blush?

Grinning like a shark, Sanji looked around and took note of his surroundings. At some point during the sinfulinsaneeroticsexyasfuckinhellorgasminducing… display, most of the crew had stopped to gape in blatant astonishment.

Well. All that was left after that was the icing on the cake. He strutted over to the stunned swordsman, leaned in to his ear, licked, and whispered. "I win, marimo."

Somewhere off to the side, Usopp developed a spontaneous nosebleed that had nothing to do with the suspicious bulge in his pants and scurried off below deck.

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THAT DEFIED ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND NATURAL IN THE OP WORLD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW.