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onepieceyaoi100I deserve to be shot for this.
Title: Biodiversity
Word Count: 298.
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: Attempted Sanji/Usopp, Nami/Sanji.
Topic: Tentacles. :D
Notes: This is a random crackppy little AU based on this awesome picture by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nuitari4pwnage. Mer-Strawhats, yo! But Usopp being a seahorse brings up some interesting mpreg problems.
“…and that’s how baby merseahorses are made, Sanji. Sanji?”
Sanji’s brain had evidently rebooted. The glazed, twitching eye and little trail of bubbles coming from his open mouth boded ill. Usopp sighed. His mother had always told him that life around people who weren’t like yourself was hard, and damn if she hadn’t spoken the truth.
“You…”
Oh, he was still alive then. “Yes?”
“You…seahorses…the guys get pregnant?”
“Yes. I just spent the last twenty minutes explaining that to you.”
“And the girls…they, um, do all the penetrating?”
“Yes. Ah, my sweet Kaya…” Usopp started on a lengthy discourse about the multiplicitous virtues of his lovely Kaya, but he paused when he saw the look on Sanji’s face. He could see something slowly starting to assemble itself inside of Sanji’s echolocation-addled head, and he had the feeling he wasn’t going to like it.
“USOPP-CHWAAAAAAAAN!”
“NAMI, HELP MEEEEEEEE!”
“How much?” The quirk of a graceful auburn eyebrow weighed Usopp’s virginity versus his net worth and found the scale severely unbalanced.
“ANYTHING! EVERYTHING! EVERY PIECE OF TREASURE I EVER FIND WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF ONE PIECE!” Sanji was nearly on top of him now, and not in a good way.
Nami sighed, tentacles swirling gracefully as she gathered herself. “Deal. It’s a bit low, but I’ll take any extra out of your girlfriend when we take you home.”
A suckered arm wrapped around Sanji’s tail. He had exactly two seconds to blink and open his mouth before Nami yanked him over and taught him eight fascinating lessons on girls, boys, and which of the two did the penetration around here.
Usopp steadfastly ignored Sanji’s screams that that didn’t go there, Nami-swan! and instead concentrated on how he was going to explain Nami’s bill for “sexual protection services” to Kaya.
Title: Biodiversity
Word Count: 298.
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: Attempted Sanji/Usopp, Nami/Sanji.
Topic: Tentacles. :D
Notes: This is a random cra
nuitari4pwnage. Mer-Strawhats, yo! But Usopp being a seahorse brings up some interesting mpreg problems.“…and that’s how baby merseahorses are made, Sanji. Sanji?”
Sanji’s brain had evidently rebooted. The glazed, twitching eye and little trail of bubbles coming from his open mouth boded ill. Usopp sighed. His mother had always told him that life around people who weren’t like yourself was hard, and damn if she hadn’t spoken the truth.
“You…”
Oh, he was still alive then. “Yes?”
“You…seahorses…the guys get pregnant?”
“Yes. I just spent the last twenty minutes explaining that to you.”
“And the girls…they, um, do all the penetrating?”
“Yes. Ah, my sweet Kaya…” Usopp started on a lengthy discourse about the multiplicitous virtues of his lovely Kaya, but he paused when he saw the look on Sanji’s face. He could see something slowly starting to assemble itself inside of Sanji’s echolocation-addled head, and he had the feeling he wasn’t going to like it.
“USOPP-CHWAAAAAAAAN!”
“NAMI, HELP MEEEEEEEE!”
“How much?” The quirk of a graceful auburn eyebrow weighed Usopp’s virginity versus his net worth and found the scale severely unbalanced.
“ANYTHING! EVERYTHING! EVERY PIECE OF TREASURE I EVER FIND WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF ONE PIECE!” Sanji was nearly on top of him now, and not in a good way.
Nami sighed, tentacles swirling gracefully as she gathered herself. “Deal. It’s a bit low, but I’ll take any extra out of your girlfriend when we take you home.”
A suckered arm wrapped around Sanji’s tail. He had exactly two seconds to blink and open his mouth before Nami yanked him over and taught him eight fascinating lessons on girls, boys, and which of the two did the penetration around here.
Usopp steadfastly ignored Sanji’s screams that that didn’t go there, Nami-swan! and instead concentrated on how he was going to explain Nami’s bill for “sexual protection services” to Kaya.
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