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onepieceyaoi100Here's my first story! I hope this works right...
Title: Map
Rating: G
Pairing: Very light Luffy/Zoro
Word Count: 228
The swordsman rested, enjoying the warmth of the noon-day sun on
his bare chest. But then the sun was blocked out; someone was leaning
over him. A finger touched his side, where he'd once been stabbed;
then it moved over to his arm, running up it slowly. He smiled when he
realized what the intruder was doing: Tracing his scars with his
finger. Then, there was a laugh. He cracked open one eye.
"What's so funny," he asked the dark-haired boy leaning over him.
"It's like a map! You start here"--he touched a scar on the
swordsman's arm--"and sail up, and over..." The scar went up his arm
and connected to one on his shoulder, which his captain was now
following with a curious finger.
He laughed as he closed his eyes again. "Yeah, it kinda is."
The finger rested on scar that started on his collarbone. "Does
it still hurt?"
"A little". The finger moved away. "Not that much... you can
touch it if you want."
After a moment, the finger began moving along the scar again, one
that traveled diagonally across the whole length and width of the man's
chest. "This is a long one," said the other boy, his voice tinged
with unusual sadness.
"It has to be," the swordsman replied with a reassuring smile.
"It's the one that leads back to him."
Title: Map
Rating: G
Pairing: Very light Luffy/Zoro
Word Count: 228
The swordsman rested, enjoying the warmth of the noon-day sun on
his bare chest. But then the sun was blocked out; someone was leaning
over him. A finger touched his side, where he'd once been stabbed;
then it moved over to his arm, running up it slowly. He smiled when he
realized what the intruder was doing: Tracing his scars with his
finger. Then, there was a laugh. He cracked open one eye.
"What's so funny," he asked the dark-haired boy leaning over him.
"It's like a map! You start here"--he touched a scar on the
swordsman's arm--"and sail up, and over..." The scar went up his arm
and connected to one on his shoulder, which his captain was now
following with a curious finger.
He laughed as he closed his eyes again. "Yeah, it kinda is."
The finger rested on scar that started on his collarbone. "Does
it still hurt?"
"A little". The finger moved away. "Not that much... you can
touch it if you want."
After a moment, the finger began moving along the scar again, one
that traveled diagonally across the whole length and width of the man's
chest. "This is a long one," said the other boy, his voice tinged
with unusual sadness.
"It has to be," the swordsman replied with a reassuring smile.
"It's the one that leads back to him."
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 10:38 pm (UTC)Thanks! Cute, huh? Good, that's basically what I was going for. ^_^
I actually have another story written (and it's a whopping 300 words. I really did try to cut as much as possible!), which I may post.. umm... soon.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 10:53 pm (UTC)I actually didn't mean it as such. Though if you wanna read it that way, that's fine by me... ^_^
Thanks for the welcome! I hope to have a lot of fun here. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 12:07 am (UTC)Thanks! Ah, I love feedback. ^_^
It'll be interesting to see the reaction to my next story, it's... not quite like this one. ^_~
no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 12:10 am (UTC)Ah, people really liked that. Cool.
Thanks. I think I could see him doing this. Scars are fun. ^_^
Yeah, I'm weird...
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 02:10 am (UTC)WHEE!!
Sorry, got caught up in the mood. ^_^
Thanks!
Everyone seems to be saying that. Cool. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 07:33 am (UTC)Oh, yeah. Noooo pressure... ~_~
Thanks!
Must... write... story with Usopp...
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 01:37 pm (UTC)And this is so light and pretty. The last set of lines are just killers. This drabble put a big happy grin on my face, so I thank you for that. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 04:37 pm (UTC)Thanks Sherry!
"Pretty"... Interesting. ^_^
Awesome. I hadn't even planned an ending like that when I first started, it was meant to be all fluff. But the importance of that scar is just too big to be ignored, so I wanted to address it. Though I also didn't want to drag the story with a sad ending. But Zoro seems to have treated his defeat as less, "Oh my God I lost, I'm such a loser, wah", and more of a reason to renew his commitment to being the best.
I'm rambling, sorry...
Yay!
You're welcome.
All this positive feedback I'm getting is making me smile, too. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-23 08:30 am (UTC)Thanks!
I didn't even plan it, I just kinda... Well, as someone with a few scars, I've heard the "connect the dots/looks like a map" jokes myself, and just started writing this based on that. Then the idea of what the big scar represents just kinda came to my while writing. ^_^
Ah... I may! Thanks. ^_^