WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

I am FREE!! Finals ARE DONE FOR ME!!!!!!

*cough* which means I'm currently over-caffinated, slightly hysterical and in no way coherent.

Which is why I had to write something. o.o

Title: Been There, Done That...
Topic: Seme Usopp
Rating: PG-13 for suggestiveness
Pairing/s: ZoSan UsoZo, UsoSan… wow… o.o
Word Count: 205 (dear god, under limit!)
Summary: Chopper learns how to hit ‘dat.
A/N: OMG I just finished my last paper for finals… MY BRAIN IS COMPLETELY CRACKED OUT. Which is a big fat warning, yes it is. Much OOC Ahead!



Chopper peeked into the bunk room, made a surprised noise, and quickly slammed the door.

Usopp looked up at the sound, noticing Chopper’s expression. “Oi…Chopper, what’s the matter?”

“Zoro and Sanji are…” the reindeer blushed, “you know.”

Usopp snorted and waved at the reindeer. “It’s nothing to get excited about.”

Chopper sidled over. “But they’re…you know.”

The canoneer grinned. “Curious?”

“No!!”

Usopp looked around to make sure no one could overhear before leaning close to the reindeer and whispering, “Personally, I think those two are at it so much because no one else really wants to go with them.”

Chopper blinked. That hadn’t been what he’d meant. But curiosity got the better of him and he leaned into the whisper. “What do you mean?”

Usopp grinned. “Sanji wins in flexibility but his endurance isn’t so good- must be all the smoking and his lungs…”

Chopper’s jaw dropped.

“Zoro lasts but he tends to sweat a bunch which is kind of gross…”

The reindeer’s brain effectively shut off. He pointed at Usopp disbelievingly. “You mean you…and they…and…”

“I am the great Captain Usopp! Of course I did!”

“REALLY!?!”

“Hehe. Yup.”

Chopper turned red through his fur. “So…”

“Yup.”

A beat.

And then, “how’d you do it?”

END

Is he lying? Will we ever know?

I'm so sorry.

So sorry.

Comments

[hentai-satsuki.livejournal.com]

*intro comment*

The reindeer’s brain effectively shut off.
Best. Line. Evar. Me too, Chopper. Me too.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

You know, I think mine did three sentences into wirting this as well. ^^

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Can you just see Choppa hittin' dat? XD

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

The question is, do we believe him? :P

[bossgoji.livejournal.com]

You've been smoking MY crack.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Apparently I don't need to smoke... I'm naturally cracktastic. -_-;;

[innueneko.livejournal.com]

Haha! He IS the Great Captain Usopp! XD

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

I wonder if he makes Zoro and Sanji call him that in bed.

[sherriaisling.livejournal.com]

So if Usopp has score cards for who makes the best bed buddy, what does Luffy's say?

[bossgoji.livejournal.com]

"Can be used as a preventative" =D

[sherriaisling.livejournal.com]

*shoots water out of her nose*

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Practice safe sex...bang your captain?

[fenm.livejournal.com]

Chopper blinked. That hadn't been what he'd meant. But curiosity got the better of him

Whoops. He won't make THAT mistake again... ^_^
And I agree with Sherri: What DOES Usopp's report card about Luffy say?

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

I think goji hit the answer to that on the head. XD

[bluepard.livejournal.com]

You can trust that if you sleep with Usopp, no one will believe him when he tells everyone about it later.

Heh, this amuses me. And somehow reminds me of how I wanted to write fic wherein Luffy is given "The Talk" ...

[fenm.livejournal.com]

this [...] reminds me of how I wanted to write fic wherein Luffy is given "The Talk" ...

Oh! Yes, yes! ^_^

[hentai-satsuki.livejournal.com]

Luffy and "The Talk"? Who would give it to him though? I can only imagine Usopp trying to talk about it, and then going on about storks and how he defeated the King Stork who was delivering a whole bunch of babies, so Usopp was left those kids and he raised them all to become his eighty thousand warriors or something.

[fenm.livejournal.com]

Luffy and "The Talk"? Who would give it to him though? I can only imagine Usopp trying to talk about it, and then going on about storks and how he defeated the King Stork who was delivering a whole bunch of babies, so Usopp was left those kids and he raised them all to become his eighty thousand warriors or something.

LOL!!
How about Zoro...?
"Women... can't live with 'em, can't toss 'em overboard without the Cook getting suspicious."

[bluepard.livejournal.com]

I would certainly include that. In fact, I bet I have a line saved somewhere. O_o

"What did you tell him?"
"Well, you know, uh, just the birds and the bees and storks and cabbages..." Usopp lowered his voice, "...and dragons..."

[hentai-satsuki.livejournal.com]

*grin*
There was a fic SOMEWHERE, I wish I could remember where, that involved a DrunkShanks giving a 7-year-old-Luffy "The Talk".
Like how kissing could get someone pregnant and the Stork came from the island of Meat or something.
It was hilarious, especially at the end, when everybody was suddenly too busy to correct him when he pointed this out on the ship.

[bluepard.livejournal.com]

That explains so much.

Damn you, Shanks, you drunken rolemodel. See what you've done?

[hentai-satsuki.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh! I remember! It was that sex/kissing made you fat and Shanks was all like "Lucky Roo, you get women right?" and Lucky Roo was like "Oh, yeah loads" and chibi!Luffy was like "O_O".

[bluepard.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I think I've read that. XD;

[mei-yanohi.livejournal.com]

I am seriously peeing my pants laughing at this whole thread right now.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

The best place to hide something is in plain view, right? Usopp talking about it obviously means it didn't happen. Or did it?

oooooh, clever Zoro, Sanji. XD

[mei-yanohi.livejournal.com]

Oh mah fuckin gawd this was SO HILARIOUS. Usopp is THE PIMP. Man. Har. That was so boss.

I am laughing SO HARD. FOR SERIOUS.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Glad you're entertained. XD