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Mar. 3rd, 2005 12:42 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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onepieceyaoi100Title: Octopussy
Rating: R (for language and situation)
Pairing: Zoro/octopi
Word Count: 299
Topic: Mating Season
Notes: Italics indicate the lines are spoken by the divers via their air-tubes
Usopp grinned as Sanji, Zoro and Luffy, safely covered by barrels, sank beneath the waves. "Ah, I love it when they go diving! Takoyaki for dinner!"
"Huh?" Chopper looked confused.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how Zoro always comes back with an octopus or two attached!"
"My theory is they think his head is seaweed and they want to hide in it."
"Shut the fuck up, stupid cook!"
"Oh look, he's got one already!"
"Yay! Go Zoro! Takoyaki! Takoyaki!"
"Oh be quiet... damn it, another one."
"And another."
"And another."
"Shit, one's climbing INSIDE the damn barrel!"
"Ah, Zoro, there's one going..."
"GLEEP!"
"... up your trouser leg... never mind."
"Holy fucking shit."
The breathing tubes quivered.
"There's THOUSANDS of them!"
The others rushed to the edge of the ship and stared over, trying to make out the forms of their nakama beneath the waves. The waters below them were filled with octopi, some of whom breached the surface, arms waving gently in the air.
"What's going on?" Usopp asked.
"They're... celebrating," Chopper said slowly. "Their God has returned to them."
"God?"
"Zoro," Chopper frowned. "Apparently they think he's a deity."
There was an awkward silence. Noone really wanted to know.
"God of what?" Robin finally asked.
Chopper swallowed. "Fertility. They're celebrating the beginning of mating season."
"ONE JUST WENT UP PAST MY KNEE!"
"Luffy, can you grab his trousers and tie them shut?"
"I can't reach through the octopussies!"
"FUCK!"
Nami twitched. "Can we plug that tube up?"
"Not without killing Zoro."
"GET OUT OF MY PANTS!"
"I'm willing to take that chance."
"Zoro, breathe slower, you're hyperventilating!"
There was a sudden, awed silence.
"Sanji? Luffy? ZORO!"
"That is the biggest damn tentacle I have ever seen in my entire life."
"... I'm never eating octopus again."
End-notes:
For those who don't know, takoyaki are octopus balls... and a horrible and evil pun just came into my head so it is clearly time for me to go get some sleep.
Rating: R (for language and situation)
Pairing: Zoro/octopi
Word Count: 299
Topic: Mating Season
Notes: Italics indicate the lines are spoken by the divers via their air-tubes
Usopp grinned as Sanji, Zoro and Luffy, safely covered by barrels, sank beneath the waves. "Ah, I love it when they go diving! Takoyaki for dinner!"
"Huh?" Chopper looked confused.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how Zoro always comes back with an octopus or two attached!"
"My theory is they think his head is seaweed and they want to hide in it."
"Shut the fuck up, stupid cook!"
"Oh look, he's got one already!"
"Yay! Go Zoro! Takoyaki! Takoyaki!"
"Oh be quiet... damn it, another one."
"And another."
"And another."
"Shit, one's climbing INSIDE the damn barrel!"
"Ah, Zoro, there's one going..."
"GLEEP!"
"... up your trouser leg... never mind."
"Holy fucking shit."
The breathing tubes quivered.
"There's THOUSANDS of them!"
The others rushed to the edge of the ship and stared over, trying to make out the forms of their nakama beneath the waves. The waters below them were filled with octopi, some of whom breached the surface, arms waving gently in the air.
"What's going on?" Usopp asked.
"They're... celebrating," Chopper said slowly. "Their God has returned to them."
"God?"
"Zoro," Chopper frowned. "Apparently they think he's a deity."
There was an awkward silence. Noone really wanted to know.
"God of what?" Robin finally asked.
Chopper swallowed. "Fertility. They're celebrating the beginning of mating season."
"ONE JUST WENT UP PAST MY KNEE!"
"Luffy, can you grab his trousers and tie them shut?"
"I can't reach through the octopussies!"
"FUCK!"
Nami twitched. "Can we plug that tube up?"
"Not without killing Zoro."
"GET OUT OF MY PANTS!"
"I'm willing to take that chance."
"Zoro, breathe slower, you're hyperventilating!"
There was a sudden, awed silence.
"Sanji? Luffy? ZORO!"
"That is the biggest damn tentacle I have ever seen in my entire life."
"... I'm never eating octopus again."
End-notes:
For those who don't know, takoyaki are octopus balls... and a horrible and evil pun just came into my head so it is clearly time for me to go get some sleep.
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Date: 2005-03-02 01:31 pm (UTC)I'm having Sphere flashbacks.
That was WRONG on so many levels. XD God of fertility. Holy crap.
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Date: 2005-03-03 01:11 am (UTC)You too?
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Date: 2005-03-04 09:08 am (UTC)Thanks.
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Date: 2005-03-02 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 03:21 pm (UTC)OMG, that should have been so very wrong, yet it wasn't. At all.
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Date: 2005-03-03 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 05:13 pm (UTC)I can TOTAlly see Luffy calling them "octopussies" to be cute, and not even realizing how obscene it sounds... ^_^
(btw, there some guy named Lovecraft on the phone... he wants to talk to you...)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 09:25 am (UTC)Heh. Less to be cute, more because he doesn't know the proper word. As usual. :-)
(btw, there some guy named Lovecraft on the phone... he wants to talk to you...)
Er... tell him I'll call him back later (I just have to say his name three times, right?)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 06:03 pm (UTC)Hentai!
BTW, who says the thing about "That's the biggest tentacle I've ever seen..."?
I'm also trying to figure out how the octopi are getting into the barrel... /-:
(interesting... lj's spell checker doesn't want to recognize "octopi" as a word, nor does it give "octopuses" as an alternative)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 09:29 am (UTC)Well, yeah.
BTW, who says the thing about "That's the biggest tentacle I've ever seen..."?
I kind of imagined that would be Sanji (cos of the "damn"). If it was Luffy it would have been: "Wooow... look how BIG that is!"
...
And in retrospect, that would probably have been a better line. Ah well.
I'm also trying to figure out how the octopi are getting into the barrel... /-:
They can actually squeeze themselves up pretty small to get into crevices and such. I figure they could probably have squeezed in.
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Date: 2005-03-02 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 09:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 08:38 pm (UTC)that was so damn funny.
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Date: 2005-03-03 09:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 10:05 pm (UTC)-cracks up-
Poor, poor POOR Zoro xDDDD!!! -can't stop laughing-
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Date: 2005-03-02 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 09:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-03 08:46 pm (UTC)