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onepieceyaoi100Title: Zosan and The Lost Treasure of The Sodomites - Part 1 & 2
Pairing: none in this part, but look at the title.
Word Count Part 1: 288
Word Count Part 2: 300
Topic: exaggerated genre/writing style
Summery: Zoro and Sanji are super sleuths in a 1950s teen mystery adventure. Move over Hardy Boys, here comes something gayer!
Author's Note: There will be more parts to this, whether you want them or not. I'll post more after my nail appointment.
It was a pleasant day over on Merry Lane. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and youngsters were frolicking to and fro in a nice wholesome way. Sanji Johnson was outside, helping his mother as she tended her garden. His father was stood nearby, watering his prize lawn while puffing on his pipe.
“Good morning, Mr.Johnson!”
Mr. Johnson took the pipe out of his mouth, and smiled at the young green-haired man coming up the walk.
“Good Morning, Zoro! How are your parents?”
“They’re just swell, Mr. Johnson! I’ll let them know that you were asking about them.”
“Good boy.”
Zoro approached the garden.
“Good morning, Mrs. Johnson! You certainly look lovely today.”
“That is very kind of you to say! How are your parents?”
“They’re just swell, Mrs. Johnson! I’ll let them know that you were asking about them.”
“Good boy.”
“Hiya, Sanji!”
“Hiya, Zoro!”
“ I was wondering if you would like to come out and get a couple of soda pops with me.”
Sanji turned to his mother.
“Mother? May I go and get a pop?”
“Well, you finished all of your chores, so I don’t see why not. Just make sure you’re home in time for dinner.”
“Yes ma’am.”
The pair went off, waving merrily to Sanji’s parents.
Mr Johnson came over to his wife, and put his arm around her shoulders as they watched the boys leave.
“That Zoro sure is a pleasant kid.” said Mrs. Johnson.
“He sure is.” said Mr Johnson.
“He’s so polite and pleasant. He’s also very strapping, you know.”
“Oh, I know.”
“I sure would like to have me some of that.”
Mr. Johnson’s arm tightened around his wife’s shoulders.
“Me too, dear. Me, too.”
***
TBC (sorry, but its true.)
They were sitting together, happily enjoying their cherry cokes, when Zoro leaned close to whisper to Sanji.
“Hey Sanji, there is another reason I wanted to talk to you today.”
“Gee, Zoro. What’s going on?”
“I found a map. But its not just any old map. It’s a treasure map, that as far as I can figure, actually use to belong to honest to goodness pirates! If we can solve the clues that they left, then I bet we can go out and find that treasure ourselves!”
Sanji looked around nervously, tugging at the collar of his white oxford shirt.
“I dunno, Zoro. My dad always told me that pirates were nasty sodomites, and I’m not sure that we should be getting involved with any nasty sodomites.”
“Come on, pal, all of those sodomites are long dead and burning in the eternal fires of hell while Satan pokes their bottoms with his spear in just punishment! We’re just looking for their treasure, and once we find it, we can donate it to charity!”
“Gosh, that would be grand. Can we donate it to a good Christian charity that teaches young kids about the evil of drugs and homosexuals?”
Zoro slung his arm around Sanji’s shoulders with a grin, and squeezed.
“Buddy, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Well then, jeepers, count me in! Where does that map tell us we should go?”
“Well, it looks like its hidden somewhere in the woods around Long Tree Lake. Why don’t you ask your folks if you can come camping tonight with me down there, and we can start looking for clues.”
Zoro winked at Sanji. Sanji winked back. The freckle-faced Soda Jerk winked at them both and then ran his tongue across the front of his teeth. The boys drank their pop.
***
TBC
Pairing: none in this part, but look at the title.
Word Count Part 1: 288
Word Count Part 2: 300
Topic: exaggerated genre/writing style
Summery: Zoro and Sanji are super sleuths in a 1950s teen mystery adventure. Move over Hardy Boys, here comes something gayer!
Author's Note: There will be more parts to this, whether you want them or not. I'll post more after my nail appointment.
It was a pleasant day over on Merry Lane. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and youngsters were frolicking to and fro in a nice wholesome way. Sanji Johnson was outside, helping his mother as she tended her garden. His father was stood nearby, watering his prize lawn while puffing on his pipe.
“Good morning, Mr.Johnson!”
Mr. Johnson took the pipe out of his mouth, and smiled at the young green-haired man coming up the walk.
“Good Morning, Zoro! How are your parents?”
“They’re just swell, Mr. Johnson! I’ll let them know that you were asking about them.”
“Good boy.”
Zoro approached the garden.
“Good morning, Mrs. Johnson! You certainly look lovely today.”
“That is very kind of you to say! How are your parents?”
“They’re just swell, Mrs. Johnson! I’ll let them know that you were asking about them.”
“Good boy.”
“Hiya, Sanji!”
“Hiya, Zoro!”
“ I was wondering if you would like to come out and get a couple of soda pops with me.”
Sanji turned to his mother.
“Mother? May I go and get a pop?”
“Well, you finished all of your chores, so I don’t see why not. Just make sure you’re home in time for dinner.”
“Yes ma’am.”
The pair went off, waving merrily to Sanji’s parents.
Mr Johnson came over to his wife, and put his arm around her shoulders as they watched the boys leave.
“That Zoro sure is a pleasant kid.” said Mrs. Johnson.
“He sure is.” said Mr Johnson.
“He’s so polite and pleasant. He’s also very strapping, you know.”
“Oh, I know.”
“I sure would like to have me some of that.”
Mr. Johnson’s arm tightened around his wife’s shoulders.
“Me too, dear. Me, too.”
***
TBC (sorry, but its true.)
They were sitting together, happily enjoying their cherry cokes, when Zoro leaned close to whisper to Sanji.
“Hey Sanji, there is another reason I wanted to talk to you today.”
“Gee, Zoro. What’s going on?”
“I found a map. But its not just any old map. It’s a treasure map, that as far as I can figure, actually use to belong to honest to goodness pirates! If we can solve the clues that they left, then I bet we can go out and find that treasure ourselves!”
Sanji looked around nervously, tugging at the collar of his white oxford shirt.
“I dunno, Zoro. My dad always told me that pirates were nasty sodomites, and I’m not sure that we should be getting involved with any nasty sodomites.”
“Come on, pal, all of those sodomites are long dead and burning in the eternal fires of hell while Satan pokes their bottoms with his spear in just punishment! We’re just looking for their treasure, and once we find it, we can donate it to charity!”
“Gosh, that would be grand. Can we donate it to a good Christian charity that teaches young kids about the evil of drugs and homosexuals?”
Zoro slung his arm around Sanji’s shoulders with a grin, and squeezed.
“Buddy, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Well then, jeepers, count me in! Where does that map tell us we should go?”
“Well, it looks like its hidden somewhere in the woods around Long Tree Lake. Why don’t you ask your folks if you can come camping tonight with me down there, and we can start looking for clues.”
Zoro winked at Sanji. Sanji winked back. The freckle-faced Soda Jerk winked at them both and then ran his tongue across the front of his teeth. The boys drank their pop.
***
TBC
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 07:29 pm (UTC)*manages to get back up*
*reads second part*
*whistles suggestively*
I love you (and I'd kiss you if only you weren't simply a link on my laptop). And am overjoyed to know that this will continue. Go, hypocrites!
no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 02:43 am (UTC)Golly gosh, that sure was swell!
Date: 2005-04-09 09:02 pm (UTC)Everything is perfect from the language to both of Sanji’s parents (and Sanji Johnson? Talk about different) wanting a piece of Zoro to soda jerk Ace (yay for cameos). And ‘Come on, pal, all of those sodomites are long dead and burning in the eternal fires of hell while Satan pokes their bottoms with his spear in just punishment!’ is one of those lines that will be remembered at random times, in places like the grocery store, and cause me to laugh like a loon in public.
This is going in my memories. And as for the There will be more parts to this, whether you want them or not., oh, do I ever want them.
Re: Golly gosh, that sure was swell!
Date: 2005-04-10 02:47 am (UTC)Re: Golly gosh, that sure was swell!
Date: 2005-04-10 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-09 10:55 pm (UTC)*bursts into fits of hysterical giggles*
That's just great. X3 The “He’s so polite and pleasant." part was what got me, I couldn't stop giggling after that. Nice touch with the Soda Jerk!Ace.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 07:53 am (UTC)So glad to here there will be more.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-10 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 04:48 pm (UTC)Sanji JOHNSON?! That's just ripe for comment. *dies*
no subject
Date: 2005-04-20 03:41 am (UTC)Oh man... Sanji Johnson... *still rolling*
no subject
Date: 2005-04-21 01:19 am (UTC)Ha ha. Cock jokes are funny. Ha ha. Why am I a twelve year old boy?
no subject
Date: 2005-12-06 05:45 pm (UTC)The freckle-faced Soda Jerk winked at them both and then ran his tongue across the front of his teeth. The boys drank their pop.
My chest hurts from laughing. *runs to the next parts*
no subject
Date: 2007-05-21 08:33 pm (UTC)For some reason though, the name Sandy Johnson popped into my head when I read Sanji Johnson.