I AM NOT DEAD!

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Well, not yet, but the quarter's young! Sort of. -_-;; Anyway, Bleach has been eating my brains and I know I still owe OP fic, so I thought I'd try to get back into the swing of things with some drabbles. This is, of course, off topic, but there can't be much expected of me after my brain has been devoured like it has. -_-;;

Anyway...onward.

Title: More Than Meets the Eye I
Topic: None
Rating: G
Pairing/s: None, oddly enough…
Word Count: 300
Summary: Sanji and Zoro aren’t all muscle after all.
A/N: I’m such a dork. And this is SO OOC.



“Ne, Zoro…have you seen Robin?”

The swordsman looked up from cleaning his swords at the sound of the reindeer’s voice.

“Nope. Why? Need somethin’?” he asked, eyeing the doctor and the voluminous tome he held under his nose.

“Yeah… I borrowed this book from her, and it’s really interesting but I can’t figure this part out,” the doctor confessed, looking sheepish.

“Huh. Lemme see.” Zoro took the book and set it in front of him. “Which part?”

Chopper blinked. “Uh… it’s okay, I’ll just keep lookin’ for Robin,” he offered on seeing the swordsman’s intensely furrowed brow as studied the book.

“This part here?” Zoro’s fingers brushed the paragraph Chopper had indicated.

“Uh…yeah. Some of the words are a little confusing, is all. They’re pretty long, huh?” he chuckled, climbing up on the bench beside Zoro. “Robin must be really smart to be able to understand this.”

“Which words?”

“Uh… well, like that one there… ‘rapacious’...” the doctor offered by way of example. “Tough, huh?”

Zoro blinked. “Doesn’t that just mean greedy?”

Chopper blinked back. “Does it?”

“Or I guess in this case it just kind of means hungry, ‘cuz the sentence before it’s talking about how this culture used those animals to eat their garbage…”

Chopper blinked some more. “Is that so?”

Zoro nodded. “Yeah, think so.”

Intrigued, the doctor pointed out another word. “How about this one?”

“Abrogate?”

“Yeah, that one.”

Zoro frowned and skimmed the section. “It just means they stopped doing it after a while.”

Chopper stared, openmouthed. “Wow.”

“Che, not really. It’s all they could do after some of those things started eating corpses and started killin’ stuff for more food.”

“That wasn’t what I meant. I didn’t know you were smart, Zoro!”

“Oh. Thanks.” The green-haired man paused. “Wait…what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ah…nothing!”

END





Title: More Than Meets the Eye II
Topic: None
Rating: G
Pairing/s: None, oddly enough…
Word Count: 300
Summary: Sanji and Zoro aren’t all muscle after all.
A/N: I know nothing of science. Nothing.



Usopp frowned, jotting down more of calculations as he held his would-be invention in hand. It was endlessly laborious, always having to upgrade his weaponry, but he dearly loved living, and with the progression of ridiculously strong enemies, it was all he could do to stay one step ahead.

Except this wasn’t quite turning out right.

He frowned and adjusted the pieces for another practice firing. Aiming overboard, he pulled the lever and…

His creation sputtered and spat the projectile out about a foot before it rolled near Zoro’s foot.

At the sound, the sleeping swordsman quirked an eye, but perceiving that it was Usopp being noisy, went back to napping.

“I don’t understand,” the canoneer grumbled. “It should work.”

“Huh…it doesn’t work because you calculated the kinetic energy wrong.”

Usopp jumped at the sound of the chef’s voice from behind him. “Uh..S-Sanji!”

The chef pointed at the sheet of calculations with his index finger. “See? You forgot to distribute properly and square your meters when you multiplied ms-1 by itself.

“Uh…so I did. Wow.”

“It messed up all the rest of your calculations later, see?” the chef indicated three other key equations.

“Huh…” the canoneer turned an incredulous face on the chef. “Huh.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just uh… didn’t expect you to know something like that!” Usopp laughed.

Sanji scowled. “Oi, what’s that…”

“I’ll go fix my calculations right now, ahehehehe!” The other man scurried off.

“Che, ungrateful bastard,” the chef muttered, lighting up and plopping down across from Zoro as Usopp retreated.

Zoro grunted, opening an eye to regard the chef. “Ya know, Chopper said something like that to me, when I helped him with some words in his book.”

“Typical,” Sanji murmured distastefully. “Do they all think we’re dumb or something?”

END


Wow I'm out of practice. -_-;;

Comments

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

“Typical,” Sanji murmured distastefully. “Do they all think we’re dumb or something?”

... YES, you big dunderhead slabs of meat! XD

Kidding, those were adorable ^^

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Teehee, well if they're dumb at least they're pretty too. XD

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, because if they were just dumb and ugly, I'm not so sure anyone would be bothering with slashing them XD

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

You'd be surprised what I've seen slashed. o.o

[peach-chan.livejournal.com]

I think fanfiction.net still has that red and yellow m&m story somewhere in it's bowels...

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

... what do they do??? Drill rape holes in each other's candy shells??

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

Oh? Do tell!

(Though it occurs to me suddenly that I've seen a surprisingly graphic Gin x a goat, so .. maybe not -_-)

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Well there was this one infamous Harry Potter fic at ff.net I heard about via a friend where Harry exhumes the dead body of his father and proceeds to rape it (it's been magically preserved, of course). But then Sirius comes and tells Harry that it's a bad thing to do or something and Harry leaves, only to have Sirius resuming the dead-man rape. o.o The truly killer part? The fic was written seriously.

[vejiicakes.livejournal.com]

Was, ah ... Harry's daddy-corpse at least hot? In the aesthetic sense, not the, er, physical.

I read this HP fic where Hermione has mad hot sex with Ron's corpse (which, being what it is, is prone to breaking now and then) and, following a particularly passionate corpse-rape session, Ron!Corpse's petrified wang breaks off inside Hermione, which she then "removed like a tampon and glued back in its proper place on Ron." The killer part? My friends and I wrote it XD

Ahhhhhh crack is fun.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Wow. That wins. ^^

[fenm.livejournal.com]

Cute! I like this idea. I think I might steal borrow it... ^_^

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Haha, feel free. I don't really know where it came from myself. ^^;;

[bamf-girl.livejournal.com]

Aw.. their love is so stupid. XP

Nice work.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Indeed it is. XD

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, their love, not the work. :P

[lady-karasu.livejournal.com]

*giggles* so cute~ nice work. ^_^

Ya, Bleach has been eating my soul lately too- damn addictive, isn't it? o_O;;

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

It IS addictive! It's like, a giant fun-for-all character orgy and everyone's so PRETTY. *drool*

[yhibiki.livejournal.com]

XDDD

Well, one WOULD assume they'd be all brawn and no brain, yes?

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

All that brawn, it's easy to make the assumption. XD

[sherriaisling.livejournal.com]

Adorable drabbles! ^_^

It's nice to see you writing for One Piece again.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Hehe I still owe so much OP fic I can't afford to be distracted for much longer. *is pushing self*

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

“Do they all think we’re dumb or something?”

Well honeys, you DO kind of act like it. Yes Zoro, I'm looking DIRECTLY AT YOU as I speak. :-)

Wonderful concept though, particularly liked Zoro working out the words for Chopper. So cute.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Eh, for a man that only needs to know "Eat. Workout. Cut. Cut. Cut. Workout. Sleep." you'd think he wouldn't take the effort to learn much else. ^^;;

[mei-yanohi.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Perfect. They are such cute retarded meaty boys.

I wanna do a parody of these fics where Usopp and Chopper are curious and want to see if Luffy fits the trend, but...nope, he's still retarded.

Or YOU WRITE IT!

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Hahaha that sounds great! You should write it, it's your brainchild. ^^ Can't wait!

[dethorats]

That was wonderful! Poor guys. Nobody thinks they're good for anything besides fighting, and in Sanji's case cooking. You'd think they'd occasionally get more credit. Then again, Oda's always doing humiliating things to ruin even their badass image so...

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Sanji has to be a geek, deep down in there. He tries too hard to be cool for it to be otherwise.

I <3 geeks. XD

[sherrymarie.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I sat here and clapped when I saw that you had written more OP. I looked really stupid.

These are wonderful! The mere idea of Zoro, the big meat head that he is, being secretly smart is enough to make me pee my pants. I can just imagine the deep intellectual conversations that he and Sanji must share after they've finished sexing each other up in bed.

Oh, wait, I forgot that I don't give a fuck about the 'conversations' part. Oops.

And I think that I must check out this 'Bleach' phenomenon soon, since it keeps stealing some of my favorite writers...

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Haha yeah, Bleach is kind of like OP in the big fun character orgy-ness... I can't look away.

There is SO much badass pretty. I highly recommend it, though more the manga than the anime. ^^y

And I still owe OP fic so hopefully this will help me get back into it. ^^;; I'm not done yet!

*hope*

[sylver-r-ffnet.livejournal.com]

I'd quote the last line of the second fic if I hadn't seen it too many times already while scrolling my way down to the bottom of the page.

Or maybe I'd quote it anyway.

“Typical,” Sanji murmured distastefully. “Do they all think we’re dumb or something?”

Haha. There we go. And I shall refrain from answering that question too.

Anyway, loved these pieces. The boys actually have brains. *gasp*

[nike-victory.livejournal.com]

Actually, interesting enough, Sanji and Usopp's character stats are the same in intelligence. Luffy's a 1 (the lowest), Zoro's a 2, Sanji and Usopp are both 3, Chopper's 5, and Nami's 6 (the highest). Robin's stats aren't listed. So it would be possible for Sanji to help Usopp out with no problem. No clue about Zoro being able to help Chopper though, but at least the swordsman isn't a complete idiot.

[arcielfreeder.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. This is just so fun to read! XDDDDDDDD
-commented here almost 5 years later?-

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

Comments are always welcome!