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onepieceyaoi100Wow, this ran kinda long. O_o;; I wanted to do something completely different- it didn’t work out that way- or, really, relatively well. Oh poo. At least this one’s on topic. ^_^
Title: First time
Rating: PG
Pairing: AceSmo
Word Count: 471 (Really, this was cut- massivly - and I tried to at least get it IN the 300’s, but that didn’t go so well… -_-)
They had been fighting for hours; having mutually moved away from the city, not wanting to harm bystanders- and how could they not have watchers, with the show they put on? Billowing, sparking- undulating somewhere between each other, through each other, suspended between earth and sky. It was a sight to behold, something none of the civilians, or marines would likely see again.
Or now, because they had been ordered off- Smoker had never fought this pirate before- new to the world and freshly bountied, he could only guess what to expect. Nothing was quite clear anymore and it was hard to tell where the flame ended and the smoke began- but the marine caught himself before he was completely lost to the dance they had begun. He had to remember why he was here, even if he had never before met an equal in power and skill. The most unique Devils Fruit user he’d ever met, perhaps, but just that in the end- cursed to the same weaknesses.
It only required him to bide his time, find an advantage and use it- no mercy for a pirate; none would be given him- it was the way of things. And then there was a moment when a tanned and freckled body solidified in the flames- likely not yet used to his own powers, or the concentration it took to keep an insubstantial form. It was the opening Smoker needed, and he pressed it to his advantage- forming solid enough to use his seastone weapon, touching it to flesh in an instant, and watching the surprised look on the now solid face below him the next.
A boy- he was only a boy, and the Marine wasn’t sure if he should anger or laugh at the thought- expecting a man nearer his years to have put up that strong of a fight. Schooling his features to gruff indifference before the confused youth, he pressed the jitte firmly against the pirate’s chest, pinning him helplessly to the ground and watching a faint flicker of distress at the loss of his powers. So the kid’d never felt seastone before. Well, he wouldn’t for much longer, now, either. The price for piracy was high- not much chance for second offences that way.
Kneeling down to pin boneless arms, the marine dug one hand into his coat for a binding, but he made a mistake- got to close, and the pirate surged up with what little energy he had left…
And kissed him. Square on the lips- with that frustrating little smirk and all.
It was surprise that made him drop the jitte- and surprise that allowed the pirate, grinning that damnable grin to get away. But Smoker would see him again- he swore to that. And when he did, he’d bring Portigas D. Ace down.
Title: First time
Rating: PG
Pairing: AceSmo
Word Count: 471 (Really, this was cut- massivly - and I tried to at least get it IN the 300’s, but that didn’t go so well… -_-)
They had been fighting for hours; having mutually moved away from the city, not wanting to harm bystanders- and how could they not have watchers, with the show they put on? Billowing, sparking- undulating somewhere between each other, through each other, suspended between earth and sky. It was a sight to behold, something none of the civilians, or marines would likely see again.
Or now, because they had been ordered off- Smoker had never fought this pirate before- new to the world and freshly bountied, he could only guess what to expect. Nothing was quite clear anymore and it was hard to tell where the flame ended and the smoke began- but the marine caught himself before he was completely lost to the dance they had begun. He had to remember why he was here, even if he had never before met an equal in power and skill. The most unique Devils Fruit user he’d ever met, perhaps, but just that in the end- cursed to the same weaknesses.
It only required him to bide his time, find an advantage and use it- no mercy for a pirate; none would be given him- it was the way of things. And then there was a moment when a tanned and freckled body solidified in the flames- likely not yet used to his own powers, or the concentration it took to keep an insubstantial form. It was the opening Smoker needed, and he pressed it to his advantage- forming solid enough to use his seastone weapon, touching it to flesh in an instant, and watching the surprised look on the now solid face below him the next.
A boy- he was only a boy, and the Marine wasn’t sure if he should anger or laugh at the thought- expecting a man nearer his years to have put up that strong of a fight. Schooling his features to gruff indifference before the confused youth, he pressed the jitte firmly against the pirate’s chest, pinning him helplessly to the ground and watching a faint flicker of distress at the loss of his powers. So the kid’d never felt seastone before. Well, he wouldn’t for much longer, now, either. The price for piracy was high- not much chance for second offences that way.
Kneeling down to pin boneless arms, the marine dug one hand into his coat for a binding, but he made a mistake- got to close, and the pirate surged up with what little energy he had left…
And kissed him. Square on the lips- with that frustrating little smirk and all.
It was surprise that made him drop the jitte- and surprise that allowed the pirate, grinning that damnable grin to get away. But Smoker would see him again- he swore to that. And when he did, he’d bring Portigas D. Ace down.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 03:42 am (UTC)Not a wonder why he'd be hooked up with one of the D. brothers - they're about the only folks who're CAPABLE of loosening him up.
..... IMHO, Smoker is the kind of person Zoro'd probably have turned/grew into, if Zoro never met Luffy. XD;;;; (They just both exude the same level of BRICKheaded boneness to me)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(snicker)
OOooh, you mean... er... yeah. I knew that.
^_~
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Date: 2005-08-08 11:23 pm (UTC)I'm overly FOND of bad puns, so you'll see more of them, assuredly.
I swear that one was completely subliminal, though. XD
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Date: 2005-08-08 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 03:59 am (UTC)Just posting so that you don't get an inexpicable deleted comment. XD
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Date: 2005-08-08 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 11:22 pm (UTC)I refreshed both reading the comment and in the main journal - suddenly my comment was just ... GONE, hence the panic to spam/post/explain.
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Date: 2005-08-08 10:03 pm (UTC)Pushy bitch, ain't I? ^_* But you write these two so very well.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-09 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-09 10:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-09 12:11 pm (UTC)Anyhow, it occured to me there's a way to cut it down. (I think it's easier the hewn other people's stuff since you're more objective.)
While the second and third paragraphs are VERY nice - I think they're merely descriptive and better suited to fic length. If you take them out entirely, it's still understanble/readably Ace/Smoker, but you'd get it quite under the wire of 300 words. :3
no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-10 04:07 am (UTC)XD Just thought the agonizing was similar to my own dilemma a while back, and I tried it by reading and skipping parts to see if paragraphs can be taken out entirely and still make sense.
Lovely piece of work. :3
no subject
Date: 2011-05-08 11:42 pm (UTC)XD We'll see about that~ taisaaa.