Oh the Horror
Oct. 18th, 2005 06:17 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
beanchan.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
onepieceyaoi100Title: How I Found Out
Topic: Sex Ed
Rating: PG-13 ish
Pairing: Various
Word Count: 288
Not my best but it kept nagging me to get written
“Well, when I was about 13,” Zoro sat down the rum bottle, “Sensei tried to explain it to me.”
“Tired?”
“Er...I feel asleep about halfway through.”
“No wonder you suck with women.”
“Stuff it loverboy. Let’s hear your story.”
A sour look crossed Sanji face. “Zeff caught me staring at this female customer with these huge...uh, assets. He smacked me in the head, dragged me to the kitchen, and made Patty and Carne explain it to me.”
“That explains a lot.”
“Usopp, just tell your story before I plant my shoe in your face.”
“Oh well, the Great Captain Usopp...umm...”
Zoro smirked. “Never had the talk did you.”
“...not really.”
“Well that does explain a lot.”
Usopp threw a nasty look in Sanji’s direction. “Never heard you complaining.”
Chopper giggled. “Usopp’s naturally talented.”
“Chopper!”
“What?”
“Just tell us your story.”
“The Doctorine explained it all to me...in detail...” The reindeer paled a bit. “With diagrams.”
Sanji, Usopp, and Zoro shuddered.
Luffy just laughed.
Chopper blushed. “Uh, it’s your turn Luffy.”
The captain grinned. “Ace showed me.”
“You mean he told you.”
“No...he showed me.”
There was a collective silence.
“What?”
“You do realize none of you has a normal story for learning about sex.” Nami finally looked up from her newspaper, an annoyed frown crossing her face.
“And you do?” Zoro took another swig of rum.
“I’m sure Nami-swan has a beautiful story about discovering the joys of love.”
The navigator blushed hard, pulling the newspaper back up to hid her face.
“Arlong explained it to me when I was twelve. Since they’re weren’t any females in his crew aside from me...he used Chu to demonstrate.”
Zoro stood, offering Nami what was let of the bottle. “You win.”
Topic: Sex Ed
Rating: PG-13 ish
Pairing: Various
Word Count: 288
Not my best but it kept nagging me to get written
“Well, when I was about 13,” Zoro sat down the rum bottle, “Sensei tried to explain it to me.”
“Tired?”
“Er...I feel asleep about halfway through.”
“No wonder you suck with women.”
“Stuff it loverboy. Let’s hear your story.”
A sour look crossed Sanji face. “Zeff caught me staring at this female customer with these huge...uh, assets. He smacked me in the head, dragged me to the kitchen, and made Patty and Carne explain it to me.”
“That explains a lot.”
“Usopp, just tell your story before I plant my shoe in your face.”
“Oh well, the Great Captain Usopp...umm...”
Zoro smirked. “Never had the talk did you.”
“...not really.”
“Well that does explain a lot.”
Usopp threw a nasty look in Sanji’s direction. “Never heard you complaining.”
Chopper giggled. “Usopp’s naturally talented.”
“Chopper!”
“What?”
“Just tell us your story.”
“The Doctorine explained it all to me...in detail...” The reindeer paled a bit. “With diagrams.”
Sanji, Usopp, and Zoro shuddered.
Luffy just laughed.
Chopper blushed. “Uh, it’s your turn Luffy.”
The captain grinned. “Ace showed me.”
“You mean he told you.”
“No...he showed me.”
There was a collective silence.
“What?”
“You do realize none of you has a normal story for learning about sex.” Nami finally looked up from her newspaper, an annoyed frown crossing her face.
“And you do?” Zoro took another swig of rum.
“I’m sure Nami-swan has a beautiful story about discovering the joys of love.”
The navigator blushed hard, pulling the newspaper back up to hid her face.
“Arlong explained it to me when I was twelve. Since they’re weren’t any females in his crew aside from me...he used Chu to demonstrate.”
Zoro stood, offering Nami what was let of the bottle. “You win.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 12:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 11:59 pm (UTC)That's just... disturbing...
And Zoro fell asleep. What a shock. ^_^
Figures Chopper's "education" wold have been... detailed, coming from a doctor.
Do I wanna know what Luffy mean by "he showed me"??
So... Usopp's having sex with both Chopper and Sanji...?
And lastly:
"Zeff [...] smacked me in the head..."
I'll bet a lot of Sanji's growing-up stories contain those words...
^_^
This is a cute story! Yay for namaka sharing embarrassing stories!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 12:07 am (UTC)As for what Luffy mean and who Usopp is sleeping with...you can make up your own mind *smirky smirky*
Zeff's abusive is love!
Thank for your comments ^___^
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 04:54 am (UTC)I can see that... ^_^
As for what Luffy mean and who Usopp is sleeping with...you can make up your own mind *smirky smirky*
Really...? MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Zeff's abusive is love!
Yeah... ^_^
Thank for your comments ^___^
Thanks for the story!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 12:07 am (UTC)This was so in-character that it's scary.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 12:54 am (UTC)that was great <3~
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 01:26 am (UTC)Ace is a bad brother. XD!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 03:35 pm (UTC)this was so awesome & in character.
any usopp lovin' is good lovin!
poor chopper, he probably need professional help...
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 08:33 pm (UTC)You win with the Arlong x Chu. >:D
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:32 pm (UTC)And entertainging to read too^^
Loves it!!