And the second one.

[justira.livejournal.com]

... And here's the second one. I'm not sure how clearly the idea I was trying to develop has come across. I'll go ahead and post this... sequel... first, and put a note at the end about what I was trying to articulate. Then you can tell me whether I've failed miserably or actually succeeded in making my point understood.

Oh, and this *so* has to be too late to be a contest entry. But I'm more interested in trying to explore this idea of debt and burden, and I think I've spammed this community with enough actual contest entries already... -_-;;

Title: King's Ransom II
Rating: G
Word Count: 297
Pairing: Pell/Chaka. I'm bad; I haven't been bothering with the conventions regarding which name comes first. Oh well. It's not really addressed in either of these anyway.
Theme: Zoan-types.


ran•som:
1: a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity
2: a redemption from sin and its consequences.


He’s not surprised when his arms are full again, when weight returns to his chest and leaves his heart, when the smile he’d borne vanishes and the tears he hadn’t shed stain the brown hair under his fingertips.

For a moment, nothing is said but for the silent language of touch and tears. Neither lasts long; they can speak later, silent reassurances soothing the secret guilt of despair that, believe as they might, trust as they could, had crept in on the nights they would have spent together, in sleep or hunt, in lust or love. A country is waiting. A princess is crying. A king is retreating quietly, a small smile stretching the lines of his face.

Pell watches him leave.

“Today is a great day for Arabasta.”

Chaka looks where Pell does, at the figure concealing itself behind closing doors, gathering about itself the robes that hold its power and its burden. Catches the sag of tensed shoulders as a weight lifts, a smile grows.

A country is its people. Great or small, old or young, rich or poor. The burden of their hopes and fears, loyalty and love. The weight of the land lies heavy on a king’s shoulders. He bears more than any other man, and it is not for those who give loyalty or share love to pay his ransom.

Chaka has wished he could relieve him of that worry, free him of the weight of their light touches, silent looks, hard embraces. The heavy absence that should never have been another’s to bear.

A king’s ransom paid. A man’s smile. A great day.

“Yes, Pell. It is.”

---

A/N: The idea for these two drabbles is to try to get across how differently a king like Cobra and someone who serves him as loyally as Pell or Chaka perceive the various debts and burdens they owe and carry. In the first, I try to develop the idea that Cobra believes that others carry his burdens for him - others pay for his mistakes. To him, Pell's sacrifice is his ransom - the price that is paid to save a country, free and redeem its king of his mistakes, so that king and country can both thrive. He notices specifically in the case of Pell and Chaka how both have quietly placed duty to him and to the country above their feelings for each other, without question and with complete serenity, as if it comes to them as naturally as breathing.

In the second, Chaka believes the king carries the burdens of others. Specifically, he notes that he and Pell add another burden - their relationship - to the king's load. He wishes that that burden would be theirs alone to carry, but he knows that it is part of how a true king regards his country and its people - Cobra, like Vivi, cares for each person. Here, the king's ransom is a lifting of part of that burden, so that the king is free of the burden of Pell's supposed death and the guilt he feels for it.

I hope that made sense.

---

Comments are very welcome. I feel like I might try to redo these later, when I've gotten better at this. For now, I felt good enough about both of these to post them, but there's always room for improvement =)

Comments

[jadeprince.livejournal.com]

They're really quite lovely, both of them. I adored the mirrored sort of structure you gave them, and how they can function independantly but are made that much better when you read both.

It's an interesting topic you've chosen to explore. *grin*

[justira.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I'm really glad the structure worked, and that they can still stand alone - I was hoping it would work out that way.

As for the topic... I find Chaka/Pell interesting in a manner very different from my usual favourites (Zoro/Sanji, Smoker/Ace, sometimes Zoro/Luffy), since these two seem to be slightly older, more sober characters with a whole lot of responsibility on their shoulders. Whatever they do or don't feel for each other, they owe their loyalty to one king, the same country - as opposed to, say Smoker and Ace, whose loyalties are *technically* polar opposites. Sanji and Zoro might both owe loyalty to Luffy, but they're younger and frankly less responsible. Pell and Chaka are both responsible for a whole lot of lives, as well as seeming to be good friends of the king personally. So I'm interested in how a relationship between them affects those they serve and protect, and how they seem the type to be able to set even a very profound connection aside for those loyalties unflinchingly.

Wooh. Long-winded.

In summary - thank you!

[jadeprince.livejournal.com]

No, you make a good point. A lot of people (and I'm guilty of this too) write Zoro and Sanji much older than they actually are. I mean, of course, due to the nature of Odachi's world and the sort of forced adulthood that the GrandLine offers, they -will- be more mature than 18-19 year olds of -our- reality. Still, it's something that I still find important to keep in mind when you're writing any of the strawhat crew. ^^

I can almost see Pell/Chaka as what Zoro and Sanji might be like many years in the future, with Luffy as their king. Once they admit that they don't -really- hate eachother. Nakama-love forever, man. It also makes me wonder what Pell and Chaka were like in their youth. X3

[justira.livejournal.com]

You're treading dangerously close to my plotbunnies. Careful not to step on them =P

I've actually been tossing around ideas for younger Pell and Chaka story. How they met Cobra and gained rank, interactions between them and Cobra and Titi (Vivi's mother's name, if I recall correctly) and the previous royalty.

I was bouncing around ideas for how they all met, thinking maybe Pell would have known Titi before either of them lived at the palace, like maybe they were from the same town or something, and for Chaka to have already been in residence (perhaps aiming for the position of one of the Guardians - something I'd perceive as a very honourable position separate from their future captain duties) when Pell showed up. Pell's supposedly the strongest warrior in Arabasta - I could see him wandering around and training before he shows up at the palace, at which point Chaka would bristle (because jackals are territorial =P), and something rather ZoSan-esque would ensue. Except with politics and intrigue and a whole lot of weight-of-the-kingdom-soon-to-be-on-your-shoulders-you-stupid-teenagers for all four of them. They'd both have chosen paths that lead to fame and honour and all that, but would have to learn what responsibilities come with those and how to work together, etc etc. (cool fact: jackals hunt in [usually mated] pairs.)

Um... yes. In case you can't tell, I've been thinking about this too much. The above is all extremely vague, but I've actually got a lot of plot points worked out. History of the Guardians (those goddamn statues outside the palace, which is supposedly thousands of years old), how Cobra and Chaka meet Pell and Titi, how they both get their powers, what the previous Guardians and royalty were like, etc.

If you're actually curious, you're more than welcome to email/otherwise poke me - god knows I could use someone to discuss this with. It's driving me crazy swarming around in my head o_O;;

[drakyrna.livejournal.com]

Ah, so lovely. And such an intriguing concept! Bravo! This has such a brilliant flow to it, and the perspective changes between the two stories are very powerful. I really think you pinned these characters excellently two. You're really turning me into quite the fan of your writing ^^

[justira.livejournal.com]

*blushes and stammers like crazy*

I guarantee you the idea for these two drabbles should be credited to a healthy dose of staying up too late too often. Because I was thinking about Pell and Chaka and the king and the word play started coming in because my brain was too tired to take things literally =D

I'm thrilled that you think it flows at all. I keep thinking my writing is a bit choppy or disjointed, wavering somewhere between saying too much and too little.

And last but not least - thank you so much! I'm terribly new at this business where I actually try to write instead of starting and going "eh" and deciding I'll never be good enough. Hopefully, I'll keep improving instead of chickening out. Everyone's kind words have really helped to that effect, and I can't thank everyone enough for encouraging me.

So thanks again ^_^