I'm So Very, Very Sorry...

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

I'd feel like crud if I didn't at least attempt to write something for this challenge. chibi_trillian has got to stop infecting me with her plotbunnies.

Written as a semi-companion to her Absent Friends, with her permission. Hers is infinitely superior, as she was not a.)in denial of the degeneration of her physical health, or b.)suffering from intense Writer's Block when she attempted.

Title: It Figures
Word Count: 215
Rating: PG-13 for implied relationships
Pairing: SmoZeff, hints of SmoSan
Topic: Pirates and Marines



It Figures

The first time he saw the boy, Smoker didn’t pay him any attention. The skinny blond young man flanking Straw Hat Luffy was of no consequence at the time. It wasn’t until he was trapped in a seastone cage in a room filling with water, listening to a smooth tenor voice chastising the giant reptile for its abominable manners, that he even made the connection.

He was a leggy blond, undisturbed by the size of his opponents or their numbers. He stretched into a position that almost made Smoker wince just to watch, legs splayed so far that it was a wonder his pants didn’t split… Oh no.

Blond. Associated with pirates. Impossibly flexible. Kicks to split the sea. Oh, hell no. His bad luck was reaching new and creative heights. If the skinny little brat cooked, there was no—

“Mellorine! Mellorine!” He recognized the use of the dessert as a term of endearment and almost face-faulted right there. How many times had that word been teasingly tossed at him after the height of passion? It couldn’t be coincidence, though he doubted the young man knew its significance.

It figured that the damn pirate cook would have some sort of prodigy running around. Damn it, now he was hungry…
… And not just for dessert.



I said I was sorry...

Comments

[fenm.livejournal.com]

First: I hope you feel better soon... )-:
Second: I love this! Oh, my. Maybe Smoker could introduce Sanji to the joys of cigars.
No, not like that, you sickos! ^_^

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm almost completely better now.

Heh. If Sanji comes back from the Grand Line smoking cigars, Zeff will probably have a heart attack. Or kick Sanji's head in. One or the other.

[alita-b-angel.livejournal.com]

And now the Smoker Sanji connotations are STABBING ME WITH KNIVES. SHARP POINTY ONES.

You two are frighteningly effective in converting me. Ace... is going to have rivals ne.

Holy crap. SanjixSmokerxAce threesome. If any of those two work as a pairing together, then threes the better.

... oh god I hate you, what have you DONE!?

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Blame chibi_trillian. She's a plague-carrier, that one. Her conversion skills are 4 for 5, so far.

... *brain melts at the threesome* urgle...

[plotbunny-tiff.livejournal.com]

Coo coo cachoo, Mr. Robinson, Smoker loves you more than he could say, hey hey hey...

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Not like he'd say it in the first place, grumpy old bastard...

[neo-queen157.livejournal.com]

Oh god the Smoker/Sanji images that are running through my head right now.

>.< I would be upset if it wasn't so hot.

*thumbs up*

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Mine, too. I've got more young Smo/Zeff images to deal with, though. *twitch*

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[kikkuma.livejournal.com]

Oh gods! The SmokerxZeff plotbunnies have been reproducing!

...And I'm enjoying it. *face/palm*

Despite your writers block- I still think this turned out great.

....Sadly enough, I'd be positively giddy if someone used a dessert name as a term of endearment towards me. *sighs*

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes they have. Be thankful you don't have to witness the spawning. It's quite terrifying. *patpatpat*

Shall we call you "Flan", then? Or maybe "Sorbet"? I'd offer "Jalousie" as an option, but Zoro gets possessive of it... (It's part of a very complicated story that chibi_trillian and I are trying to beat out of plotbunny_tiff...)

[paxnirvana.livejournal.com]

*^_^* Man I love this crack thing you guys have going on! *sporfle!*

...he got Mellorine from ZEFF?! *brain asplode at the images* Oh, poor, poor Smoker -- so doomed. (That move of Sanji's keels mee ded too!! GUH!)

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This just goes to show how dangerous it is to get a large number of your friends obssessed with the same fandom as you, especially when they tend to come up with cracked-out pairings and situations.

chibi_trillian should have all she needs to keep working on that story, so she better finish this one. Help me hound her about it?

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed.

[rezykel.livejournal.com]

Forget the bird flu - this is the disease the world should fear! XD

And how does Sanji's pants remain un-split after so many episodes?

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

^^; I really have no idea... I'm thinking it must have something to do with the fact that he has no ass to speak of. (It's true, the resin statue I've seen has no visible ass. There is a flat, smooth surface between the end of his back and the top of his legs. Absolutely flat.) Either that, or his pants are made of really stretchy material...

[rezykel.livejournal.com]

But that theory must be flawed, seeing as Sanji's ass is more or less considered a rare and valuable prize to have in the OP-verse. The manufacturers are just trying to keep the fanboys from humping the poor statue, I'm sure.

...Spandex-suit? Really loose spandex suit? ._.

[anyjen.livejournal.com]

Ok, now my brain has definitely escaped out an ear. Should anybody find it, please send it to my account as an attachment...
Seriously, the possibilities... *gurgle* just doesn't cut it.