FIC: Whores are Cheap
Apr. 3rd, 2006 11:45 pmTitle: Whores Are Cheap (But Not For Zoro)
Pairing: JohnnyxZoroxYosaku Threesome
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slight non-con, Zoro getting molested, Johnny and Yosaku in women's clothing, crack might cause brain explody.
Topic: PORN. Complete porn.
Word count: 4772 (*FAIL*)
Summary: As another author has coined the phrase: Whores are cheap, Johnny and Yosaku, cheaper.
A/N: That threesome fic your brain really wanted even if you didn't know it. Also, I fail at the concept of onepieceyaoi*100words*. Crossposted around.
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Johnny and Yosaku liked to brag that their first meeting with their aniki had been during a daring bounty hunt for a fearsome pirate who liked to kill puppies and other evil activities warranting a huge return for their trouble. It wasn't quite a lie, they were hunting a bounty, but not really. Their Beautiful Brotherly Bond has stricken the True Story from their collective minds, never to be revisited in speech unless the one talking was willing to commit seppuku with a rusty spoon. Swordsmen took their words seriously, which is a shame for the sick perverts that liked their porn weird and wacky.
Zoro vividly remembers the meeting. Unfortunately, it had been his first journey away from home and a man had his limits. The event had settled in his brain as a clear cut example of the evil wiles of womanhood, regardless of the fact there were no actual women involved.
Though by that point in the night Zoro wasn't exactly complaining.
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There had not been a street there a moment ago. Zoro was sure of it. Woods do not turn into hives of scum, villainy and disreputable houses of lust out of no where and he had been walking in a completely straight line from where the old man with the cane had pointed him. Clearly Fate liked to fuck with him. Zoro narrowed his eyes at the street and walked on warily, noting the over abundance of women waving to him. He clutched his newly earned monies tight and his swords tighter. A city springing out of the woods on what he believed to be magic fairy dust was crazy, but one with THAT many females was just plain wrong.
Zoro tunnelled his vision and violently swung his attention away from the suspicious witches and their short short skirts. The place glowed red from the lines of paper lanterns hanging from the front of each building. Interspersed between them was what he presumed to be wood, though garishly bright paint covered any remaining natural colours with lewd pictures and words. It was all mighty suspicious.
Then again, it had been weeks since Zoro had slept in an actual bed and had genuine, not burnt, not raw, not dubiously still moving, food and he finally had earnt enough to get these things. He casted about for the least gaudy place with the least amount of beckoning, heaving, cleavage.
After a few minutes of being turned about direction-wise Zoro settled for the first one he could enter. Mitsuhara Inn.
One moment there was a woman richly dressed behind a simple wooden counter and the next, she was standing in front of him, hands clutched tightly around his arms, smiling up at him expectantly.
Zoro recoiled, hand on his swords, but he couldn't even take a step back. Her long fingernails dug painfully into his arms, leaving him frozen and helplessly staring at a white painted face and rouge red lips.
"Welcome. How can I help you?" She wasn't young, this close he could see the wrinkles lining her eyes caked with make up. She only came to mid chest, wrapped up like a dumpy doll in rich flowery silk and an obviously pinned on black wig. She looked him over, slowly and judgmentally from top to bottom predatorily, lingering far too long on his arse like he was a piece of meat. Zoro was kind of frightened.
"I just want a room for the night and a meal." Zoro said gruffly, trying to wiggle his way out of the hold unsuccessfully.
"We have many pleasures to offer you young man."
"I-uh, just want a room and a meal." Zoro repeated, face already starting to feel flushed.
"You don't have to be shy." Yes, that was a hand cupping firmly around his crotch.
Zoro squeaked, dignity going out the window. He froze, already regretting coming in here a whole fucking lot but too deeply disturbed about what would happen to his family jewels to keep trying to force himself away. The woman had No Shame. He gritted his teeth, ignoring the blood in his cheeks, before gripping his swords defensively like a life line. "Look, I just-"
The woman held up his money purse in one slightly wrinkled hand making Zoro gape silently at her equally shameless theft. Her lips twisted as she weighed it in her hand, and to his relief, the hold on him released. Zoro had his back safely against the wall a second later.
"Che, another cheapie. What the hell do you expect to buy with small beans like this?" A clawed (those were NOT fingernails) held the rope of the little bag with disdain, the face no longer smiling or welcoming.
The rush of anger was a welcome change from awkward embarrassment. Zoro scowled his mind flickering back to the days of stalking in the rain, little food and fighting that earned him that amount. "Give that back you crazy bitch! And what the hell are you calling small beans? It's the bounty from the Blue Berry Crew! There's seven thousand beri in there!"
She sniffed. "One of my ladies will cost you at least one thousand an hour. This is a professional establishment run by Mitsuhara-sama, we aren't the diseased trollops you find outside brat." The bag rustled in her hand. "I suppose I can find something this cheap for a whole night."
Zoro started toward her, alarmed at the direction of her thoughts. "Hey! What are you deaf! I just want a room and a meal for the night, not whatever kinky bullshit you run here."
A red lacquered nail tapped against her porcelain mask-like cheek. "Still. Seven thousand beri is something. I can pay off the rent for the next week, and turn a better profit."
"Stop ignoring me!" Zoro made a grab for the money, but she sidestepped out of the way, and then had the audacity to stuff it inside her kimono, nestled distinctly between her breasts. Zoro's hand twitched, but there was no way he was going to dig in There. Just, god no.
"Pretty naive for a bounty hunter boy. Don't you like what you see?" To his horror she swayed her hips invitingly, sending a bone chilling shudder down his spine.
Zoro clenched his teeth hard enough to hear them grind together, counting to ten in his head before he spoke. "Not in a million years. All I want is a room and a meal, and no way am I paying all of my 7000 beri for something simple like that. Either get me the room or give me my money back you greedy witch."
"Not in a million years huh?" She was in front of him again, shoving a hand on his chest. "I'll have you know I'm very popular! Men adore my thighs. An older woman's experience is valuable!" Zoro was trying not to die from mental images of those thighs in particular wrapped around him. She poked him. "For seven thousand beri you're lucky I'm generous enough to let you spend the night and send you up some delights." She gave him another considering look. "You bounty hunters. I have just the thing for guys like you. It'll get rid of two birds with one stone too. Literally speaking." She looked him over again, a wicked smile stretching her rouged lips. "Get up the stairs boy."
"The hell I am!" Zoro moved toward her, catching one of his swords a little out of its sheath.
At least this threat she recognised. The woman immediately held up her hands, but unlike what Zoro had expected, didn't surrender. "Alright, alright, you can have them for one thousand less, but that's all the concession I'm willing to make." She slipped some bills out from between her beasts.
Zoro felt them numbly slap into the hand she had casually lifted from his sword handle. By then a clawed hand was already shoving him up steps. He was halfway up before he realised she had been talking since she had started shoving.
"-- Make use of the lubrication, and don't use food as substitute. They're not well trained but that's what you get for paying so little so don't expect anything fancy or educated, try not to get the mats stained because sheets are easier to wash, they'll bring your meal too. By the way don't be afraid to hit them if they're a little rowdy even though I normally wouldn't ever allow brutes like you to even touch my ladies, much less use violence against them but these two probably deserve it, still, I want them in one piece in the morning, they still owe some quite a lot of money, and for kami's sake, use lubrication, you break em you bought em, and I can see you can't afford even those two right now. If you can't get it up, don't be afraid to ask-"
"WHAT?!" Zoro brain caught up with an overwhelming sense of 'red-alert'.
"If you can't get it up..." She repeated patiently and traumatically, "Eh, you're young, probably won't apply." She patted him in the goddamn arm.
The next thing he knew, Zoro was pushed to his knees through an opened sliding door which snapped shut soundly behind him.
His first instinct was to run far, far away and Zoro futilely tried to pry the door open with that express purpose. Either it was stuck, or the conniving bitch had locked him in somehow to stop him going after her and getting his money back. He considered punching through the flimsy door but then the image of his hard earned money flying away struck back at him. Besides, there was a large, comfortable looking futon in the middle of the cool, matted room and a basin and cloth to wash in. Zoro grumbled, internally debating his choices.
Finally he figured he had paid for the room anyway, so he would take advantage of whatever was here and when the disturbing promise of 'delights' arrived he'd just turn them away and demand a refund in the morning. He had no use for women, but a great deal of use for comfortable bed. He was too tired to do much more than wash himself with the basin and cloth before crawling into the futon to participate in the activity he liked best (next to sword-fighting): sleep.
It was just as well that the futon was soft other wise Zoro would have... zzz.
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"You go first."
"No, you go first. You're prettier."
"You think so, really? Wait, no, I won't fall for that again, you should go first. This is your fault in the first place Yosa... Yoko-chan."
"The hell it is Jo-Jou-chan, if you had just attacked him from the back like I told you to, then we would have never been captured."
"We would have never been Wanted if you hadn't stolen that trunk! And Jou-chan? Can't you think of something cuter and more meaningful than that?"
"It's a perfectly good name, easily remembered-"
Zoro's hand closed around his sword, awake in a breath, listening to the hushed, husky whispers from outside the door warily. His eyes locked onto the doors, barely visible in the dark even with his excellent vision. Sometime in the night the lanterns had gone out. The lack of windows in the room (for privacy he assumed) meant he was disadvantaged should whoever on the outside wanted to attack him. Though from what he had heard so far that probably wasn't the case. The smell of soup, fish and rice confirmed his suspicions. It only made him clutch his sword more protectively.
He'd refuse. It was very simple. Refuse.
The hushed voices had stopped, leaving behind only the sound of soft breathing and the heavy weight of anticipation.
"Onegaishimasu," came the soft whisper before the door slid open almost silently, and two figures shuffled in on their knees at the same time before the door closed just as silently and unfortunately, tightly, behind them.
Zoro squinted, but all he could see was the outline of heavy, dark robes, spread out on the floor and two identical wigs shaped vaguely like ornate fans. Neither of them looked very comfortable, nor were they remotely graceful. He realised they were squinting in his direction too. Maybe if he feigned sleep they'd just... go away.
"Oi Jou-chan, is he asleep?" The first voice whispered, voice husky and low, not feminine at all really.
The other one gave a wordless shrug.
The first shifted. "Should we... wake him up or something?"
"The crazy bitch said Mitsuhara will cut our debt in half if we do this. She wants, you know, evidence. She's has freaky powers, she'll know. Plus, you're first."
The first one shifted some more, uncomfortably. "Should I, you know, go for it or something?"
"Um... yeah. If it feels good enough he might not beat us," Jou-chan whispered back, just as hesitantly.
The one known as Yoko shuffled toward Zoro like she was hoping he wouldn't wake up.
Zoro cleared this throat, "Hey, Um." His voice was loud compared to the whispers, cutting through the atmosphere and making the two figures freeze.
"Uh. Hi. I mean, my name is Jou-chan, and this is Yoko-chan, and we're here to fulfill... your needs." The voice was louder, suddenly high pitched, and Zoro didn't miss the stumbling use of female address. The frantic shuffle of sleeves signalled a gesture to either of the two... women, before the speaker bowed hastily, head touching her knees. The other one hesitated before following in an even clumsier bow.
Zoro ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, you don't you know, have to. I don't want it. You can go and do whatever it is you do when you're not... doing this."
The one he thought to be Yoko looked uneasily to the other. "You don't... want it? Joh-Jou-chan, don't we have to-" The shadow gestured violently with his head in Zoro's direction, making lewd hand puppet motions with his hands.
"Sir..." Even from here Zoro could see Jou-chan's shadow twitch. "It will be our pleasure to pleasure you." The voice tried for demure and coy and arrived back to husky.
It still didn't stop Zoro's cheeks flaming red, making him sit up, hands fisted on his thighs. "No! No. It's fine. I um, don't need to be pleasured."
A heavy pause. "Are you sure?" The voice was deeper than he had thought a woman's could go.
"Yes. Definitely. Yes." Zoro nodded several times like an idiot.
Another full body twitch. The shadow was creeping toward him now, on its hands and knees, slow enough that Zoro could see that it wasn't entirely sure it wanted to do this either.
"W-what are you doing?" Zoro stared, wide eyed as she came closer, unwilling to leave his swords alone on the futon but also unwilling to actually draw them to hurt them in any way.
And there was a hand. On his groin. Again.
"Are you sure?" This close, the voice's huskiness send a bolt of something down Zoro's spine. He inhaled, eyes straining and his mind confused over the mixed signals his body was giving him.
"Wasn't I suppose to be first Aniki?" A voice husked into his ear, making him half turn before the grip on sensitive parts of him tightened and made him gasp.
"Aniki? What?" Zoro looked closer at the two figures, at the lack of female curves and the rough, very conclusively not small, dainty hands cupping him. "You're...!"
"Yosaku, what did I tell you about letting me do the talking?!" The man in front of him, still freaking, touching him, hissed.
"Sorry Johnny, it just slipped out!" There was no more effort to try and hide their very masculine voices anymore.
Zoro, pushed at the one in front of him. "You freaks! The hell is this? Get your hands off me already."
"Yosaku, hold him." Zoro felt his arms being yanked behind his back, grunting as one was locked into place on the verge of pain and his other hand jammed between someone else's thighs. A hand covered his mouth, muffling his curses, the muscles holding him solid and lean and without an ounce of fat.
"Listen, me and Yosaku are in a bit of trouble with the boss of this inn, I'm Johnny by the way, we owe him a LOT of money, and he's too strong for us to beat down and run away. That's really, really strong since we're not too bad ourselves. We tried, we lost, badly, he'd in a completely different league. Anyway, the greedy bitch down stairs said we'd get that debt cut in half instead of our dicks if we'd whore ourselves a little." Zoro muffled a scream at him. "Cool down man, it's not like we're selling our bodies or anything, just like, one time, and then me and Yosaku can pay off our debt all legit like and we can go back to hunting bounties."
Zoro made a sound that resembled, "Hunting bounties?"
Yosaku nodded behind him. "The boss had a huge bounty on his head, up in the ten thousands, so we thought we'd give it a try, but then we kind of lost."
"We don't like men, really. All we're asking is for you to take one for the team!" Johnny implored.
Zoro shot them a glare over Yosaku's hand, growling the equivalent to, "Whose fucking team is who on?!"
Even in the darkness Zoro could see Johnny's pained look. "The inns woman knows these things, she'll need some kind of evidence. I'm a guy, you're a guy, it's not like I haven't done this before, y'know by myself. How hard could it be?"
Zoro's muffled protests got a little louder at that, his struggling limited by Yosaku's hold on his hands, and him seated on his own feet in addition to the other man's weight pressing down on them.
"Johnny, you sure about this-"
"Yes?" Johnny's hands tugged up the haramaki and shirt, exposing a line of hard, muscled stomach before trailing down to push at Zoro's pants, sliding the elastic of both pants and underwear over Zoro's arse until it wrapped snugly around his thighs. Johnny's cleared his throat, staring down at the shadowed area between the swordsman's thighs, suddenly feeling flushed and hot, and now unsure whether it was more embarrassment or shame or...
Johnny hesitantly reached out a hand to run along the man's thigh before he could change his mind.
Zoro's muffled cursing increased, though his body had tensed and frozen as soon as fingers met his flesh.
"Sorry," Johnny muttered just before his hand wrapped around Zoro's cock and started stroking almost upon impact. He felt the other man flinch.
"Hey, Johnny, might be better if you get some lube, you know, make it easier?" Yosaku sounded like something was closing off his throat, probably embarrassment. Zoro growled, low in his throat, but nodded in agreement. Johnny muttered another "Sorry" before grabbing the room's supplied tub of lubricant and dipping his fingers into it.
Zoro could feel his heart thudding in his chest, his breathing starting to hasten reflexively in anticipation as the sounds of the lubrication sucking on Johnny's fingers' echoed around the room. That was going to be on him. Wrapped around him. Tight, wet friction. Zoro made another low noise when he realised he was getting hard from this, he was actually getting hard off the idea of being jerked off by another man.
His hips bucked, his mouth opening in a gasp as those fingers finally did wrap around him, cold but then warming up in slow, careful tugs that made Zoro want to lean forward, make the hand go faster, grip tighter, trace over the head... "Ngh!"
"H-hey, you're hard. Really hard. And big. Wow. Um... congratulations."
Zoro wanted to hit him, but his limbs were still very much held back. He could feel Yosaku watching over his shoulder with wide eyes, the man's breathing blowing softly into his ear in small pants, chest billowing against the arm behind his back. The room was getting hotter, or maybe just he was, all his mental abilities suddenly pooled into his groin and the slow, careful strokes running up and down in a frustrating build up of pleasure. He wasn't going to give in that easily, he wasn't going to beg. Zoro wasn't getting enough air. His mouth opened involuntarily, panting, tongue rolling out to lick his dry lips, only to encounter the callused palm of the man behind him.
"Johnny, can you hurry up? He's kind of," Yosaku sucked in a breath when he felt his palm licked again, the tongue slowly tracing the lines of his skin like it needed something to taste. "Johnny..." The whine in his voice turned into a plead.
Johnny nodded wordlessly, entranced by the difference of doing this on another man's cock, hot and foreign in his hands, and now thrusting minutely between each of his strokes. He sped up, getting a firmer grip and nearly jumping when a definite groan came out of Zoro's throat. "Is that better?" The green haired man nodded, hips bucking again, lifting for more. Come to think of it, Johnny was breathing faster too, his eyes riveted on the swordsman's body, the ripple of muscle on his stomach, the sheen of sweat glowing on his skin, the man's cock disappearing and reappearing like the dirtiest thing ever between his fingers..
"Rub... rub the top Johnny."
Johnny looked up, and god, that mouth, the guy was sucking on Yosaku's fingers, the digits slipping inside so easily, with wet, tantalising noises. Johnny and Yosaku made a noise of their own when a tongue started to peek around those fingers, swirling and sucking alternatively like it desperately wanted something to concentrate on.
Zoro shuddered, crying out around his full mouth as a thumb traced over the head of his cock as promised, then again and again until he was nearly shaking. The next stroke felt like he was being pulled out of his body from his cock, making him groan and ride out the long, delicious tremor racing down his spine. He realised he was staring blindly at the ceiling, his head cushioned on the shoulder behind him, breathy pants coming around the fingers in his mouth.
"Hey, what's your name? You know ours, and I-" Zoro thrusted into air, and slitted his eyes open at the man - Johnny - in front of him.
"The hell are you stopping for?" Except around Yosaku's fingers, it came out more like an annoyed growl of incoherent syllables. He pulled away from the fingertips pressed against his lips long enough to mumble, "Zoro."
"Nh. Zoro," Yosaku repeated, rolling his name in a way that Zoro didn't find completely unlikeable.
"Zoro, Zoro, Zoro..." Johnny however said it like it was a continuous phrase, punctuating each syllable with the slide of his fist on Zoro's cock. The green haired man groaned, falling back into rhythm with abandon, his thighs spreading further apart, straining and humming with tension as Johnny stroked, dirty and fast between his legs.
White sparks started flashing behind his eyes, making him shudder and thrust into each pull, moaning around Yosaku's fingers. The hard heat that brushed past his hand which was still squeezed between Yosaku's thighs didn't make the feeling any less good. In fact, it was all kinds of hot, the sensation connecting to his cock like a shot of pure sex. The sound Yosaku made when Zoro pushed his hand up against him exploded like a rush of breath against his ear, building a groan of his own. The other man's thighs spread wantonly, snapping up to align against his arse like a jigsaw puzzle and suddenly Zoro could wrap his hand around the man's cloth covered cock, feeling it throbbing and hard even through the fabric. Yosaku keened, mouth muffled against his shoulder, pushing against his palm in jerky, desperate thrusts. That was just...
"Mgh!" Wet suction all around him, licking a searing stripe up his cock and there was no way he could hold on-
"Oh God, Johnny are you sucking him?" Yosaku's words were hoarse, disbelief and arousal strangling them in his throat. He could see Johnny's head bobbing over Zoro's cock, eclipsing him every few seconds accompanied by the lowest, hottest, sounds ever. Yosaku could imagine his friend's lips spread wide, plush and well used, rubbing along that velvet skin, and he just had to *touch*.
Zoro rolled his head back, his freed hand slapping down on the floor for balance as his previous captor reached around, fingers tracing the base of his cock where Johnny's lips were wrapped around his skin. Zoro could feel them slip past Johnny's lips, the tips of them brushing against his cock *inside* Johnny's mouth and that was ridiculous, it couldn't, they--- He swallowed frantically for air as he completely *lost* it, throat working around Yosaku's fingers as he came and came, those fingers and mouth strokingsuckingfucking him relentlessly as he mindlessly thrusted inside Johnny's mouth. "Nh!"
Yosaku choked, actually feeling the man come, and then couldn't stop his own groan of frantic pleasure as Zoro's hand squeezed hard, making his vision black out for a moment as his own release took him by surprise, shocking a high, desperate sound from his throat. He rode it out, rubbing and humping against Zoro's hand because nothing had ever felt this unbelievably good, his mind leaving him, spinning away in a haze of ecstasy and satisfying relief.
For a few beautifully glowing moments, all that could be heard was the heavy sound of panting.
The wet 'pop' as Johnny took his mouth off Zoro's cock still managed to make Yosaku's cock twitch and he would be totally willing if his body wasn't feeling completely useless right now, trembling and warm pressed up against Zoro. The swordsman wasn't faring much better, still gasping, resting most of his weight on the solid chest against his back. Yosaku gave up and dropped his hands, flopping both of them back onto the futon to welcome the soft press of the mattress.
"'Nny?"
Johnny cleared his throat, but that still didn't stop him sounding throaty and debauched. "Yeah?"
"Did you...?" Yosaku watched through half lidded eyes as his friend got up on wobbly legs to wet a cloth in the nearby basin.
"Uh, yeah, in my pants," Johnny whispered.
And suddenly Yosaku had a vivid visual of Johnny squirming against the floor, desperate for friction, a hand pulling his own cock without even bothering to fully tug away the rest of the kimono while his mouth worked hotly around Zoro's cock. He made a small groan before burying his head against Zoro's shoulder. Johnny was probably kneeling there right now, kimono shamelessly open, come splashed over his thighs, mouth red and used and- Yosaku shivered as the wet cloth cleaned him and Zoro up, gentle hands pulling away the wig and pins.
"Thanks," Zoro's voice was soft and deep, already halfway to sleep.
"No problem," Johnny's voice was equally soft. "Yosaku, we should get going."
Yosaku shifted so that Zoro wasn't completely crushing him, pushing the other man to sprawl over the futon. He resisted the urge to touch him some more, his limbs feeling far to watery to attempt anything like movement. Johnny was tugging him up, strong arms circling around his waist, lending him strength, and reminding him why, exactly, they had to do this in the first place. Yosaku sighed. It had been surprisingly fun, but he didn't think the guy would appreciate seeing them in the morning.
As always, Johnny seemed to know best, pulling him along out the door quietly, stumbling only a little.
"Do you think we'll see him again?" Yosaku said wistfully once the door was closed.
Johnny kept a hand on his friend's hip, both comforting and warming. "Probably not, but he was good enough to help us out, so we should remember him."
"Like I'm going to forget the guy who stole my man virginity," Yosaku muttered.
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In the morning, Zoro set out from Brothel Street to storm the village for a man named Mitsuhara, beating down row after row of goons in order to get to the centre of a large stone mansion. He came just in time to stop Mitsuhara, noted for the big ass sword as long as his body and surrounded by yet more bodyguards, just before the man sent the sword cleaving down to split two vulnerable necks. Zoro won of course, aptly collecting the 50,000 beri bounty along with two tagalong friends whose names started with J and Y.
They don't talk about the Incident, ever.
The rest, as they say, is history.
---
Finis
A/N: Very little beta work, mistakes my own. *hangs head* The crack? Ate me.
Pairing: JohnnyxZoroxYosaku Threesome
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slight non-con, Zoro getting molested, Johnny and Yosaku in women's clothing, crack might cause brain explody.
Topic: PORN. Complete porn.
Word count: 4772 (*FAIL*)
Summary: As another author has coined the phrase: Whores are cheap, Johnny and Yosaku, cheaper.
A/N: That threesome fic your brain really wanted even if you didn't know it. Also, I fail at the concept of onepieceyaoi*100words*. Crossposted around.
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Johnny and Yosaku liked to brag that their first meeting with their aniki had been during a daring bounty hunt for a fearsome pirate who liked to kill puppies and other evil activities warranting a huge return for their trouble. It wasn't quite a lie, they were hunting a bounty, but not really. Their Beautiful Brotherly Bond has stricken the True Story from their collective minds, never to be revisited in speech unless the one talking was willing to commit seppuku with a rusty spoon. Swordsmen took their words seriously, which is a shame for the sick perverts that liked their porn weird and wacky.
Zoro vividly remembers the meeting. Unfortunately, it had been his first journey away from home and a man had his limits. The event had settled in his brain as a clear cut example of the evil wiles of womanhood, regardless of the fact there were no actual women involved.
Though by that point in the night Zoro wasn't exactly complaining.
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There had not been a street there a moment ago. Zoro was sure of it. Woods do not turn into hives of scum, villainy and disreputable houses of lust out of no where and he had been walking in a completely straight line from where the old man with the cane had pointed him. Clearly Fate liked to fuck with him. Zoro narrowed his eyes at the street and walked on warily, noting the over abundance of women waving to him. He clutched his newly earned monies tight and his swords tighter. A city springing out of the woods on what he believed to be magic fairy dust was crazy, but one with THAT many females was just plain wrong.
Zoro tunnelled his vision and violently swung his attention away from the suspicious witches and their short short skirts. The place glowed red from the lines of paper lanterns hanging from the front of each building. Interspersed between them was what he presumed to be wood, though garishly bright paint covered any remaining natural colours with lewd pictures and words. It was all mighty suspicious.
Then again, it had been weeks since Zoro had slept in an actual bed and had genuine, not burnt, not raw, not dubiously still moving, food and he finally had earnt enough to get these things. He casted about for the least gaudy place with the least amount of beckoning, heaving, cleavage.
After a few minutes of being turned about direction-wise Zoro settled for the first one he could enter. Mitsuhara Inn.
One moment there was a woman richly dressed behind a simple wooden counter and the next, she was standing in front of him, hands clutched tightly around his arms, smiling up at him expectantly.
Zoro recoiled, hand on his swords, but he couldn't even take a step back. Her long fingernails dug painfully into his arms, leaving him frozen and helplessly staring at a white painted face and rouge red lips.
"Welcome. How can I help you?" She wasn't young, this close he could see the wrinkles lining her eyes caked with make up. She only came to mid chest, wrapped up like a dumpy doll in rich flowery silk and an obviously pinned on black wig. She looked him over, slowly and judgmentally from top to bottom predatorily, lingering far too long on his arse like he was a piece of meat. Zoro was kind of frightened.
"I just want a room for the night and a meal." Zoro said gruffly, trying to wiggle his way out of the hold unsuccessfully.
"We have many pleasures to offer you young man."
"I-uh, just want a room and a meal." Zoro repeated, face already starting to feel flushed.
"You don't have to be shy." Yes, that was a hand cupping firmly around his crotch.
Zoro squeaked, dignity going out the window. He froze, already regretting coming in here a whole fucking lot but too deeply disturbed about what would happen to his family jewels to keep trying to force himself away. The woman had No Shame. He gritted his teeth, ignoring the blood in his cheeks, before gripping his swords defensively like a life line. "Look, I just-"
The woman held up his money purse in one slightly wrinkled hand making Zoro gape silently at her equally shameless theft. Her lips twisted as she weighed it in her hand, and to his relief, the hold on him released. Zoro had his back safely against the wall a second later.
"Che, another cheapie. What the hell do you expect to buy with small beans like this?" A clawed (those were NOT fingernails) held the rope of the little bag with disdain, the face no longer smiling or welcoming.
The rush of anger was a welcome change from awkward embarrassment. Zoro scowled his mind flickering back to the days of stalking in the rain, little food and fighting that earned him that amount. "Give that back you crazy bitch! And what the hell are you calling small beans? It's the bounty from the Blue Berry Crew! There's seven thousand beri in there!"
She sniffed. "One of my ladies will cost you at least one thousand an hour. This is a professional establishment run by Mitsuhara-sama, we aren't the diseased trollops you find outside brat." The bag rustled in her hand. "I suppose I can find something this cheap for a whole night."
Zoro started toward her, alarmed at the direction of her thoughts. "Hey! What are you deaf! I just want a room and a meal for the night, not whatever kinky bullshit you run here."
A red lacquered nail tapped against her porcelain mask-like cheek. "Still. Seven thousand beri is something. I can pay off the rent for the next week, and turn a better profit."
"Stop ignoring me!" Zoro made a grab for the money, but she sidestepped out of the way, and then had the audacity to stuff it inside her kimono, nestled distinctly between her breasts. Zoro's hand twitched, but there was no way he was going to dig in There. Just, god no.
"Pretty naive for a bounty hunter boy. Don't you like what you see?" To his horror she swayed her hips invitingly, sending a bone chilling shudder down his spine.
Zoro clenched his teeth hard enough to hear them grind together, counting to ten in his head before he spoke. "Not in a million years. All I want is a room and a meal, and no way am I paying all of my 7000 beri for something simple like that. Either get me the room or give me my money back you greedy witch."
"Not in a million years huh?" She was in front of him again, shoving a hand on his chest. "I'll have you know I'm very popular! Men adore my thighs. An older woman's experience is valuable!" Zoro was trying not to die from mental images of those thighs in particular wrapped around him. She poked him. "For seven thousand beri you're lucky I'm generous enough to let you spend the night and send you up some delights." She gave him another considering look. "You bounty hunters. I have just the thing for guys like you. It'll get rid of two birds with one stone too. Literally speaking." She looked him over again, a wicked smile stretching her rouged lips. "Get up the stairs boy."
"The hell I am!" Zoro moved toward her, catching one of his swords a little out of its sheath.
At least this threat she recognised. The woman immediately held up her hands, but unlike what Zoro had expected, didn't surrender. "Alright, alright, you can have them for one thousand less, but that's all the concession I'm willing to make." She slipped some bills out from between her beasts.
Zoro felt them numbly slap into the hand she had casually lifted from his sword handle. By then a clawed hand was already shoving him up steps. He was halfway up before he realised she had been talking since she had started shoving.
"-- Make use of the lubrication, and don't use food as substitute. They're not well trained but that's what you get for paying so little so don't expect anything fancy or educated, try not to get the mats stained because sheets are easier to wash, they'll bring your meal too. By the way don't be afraid to hit them if they're a little rowdy even though I normally wouldn't ever allow brutes like you to even touch my ladies, much less use violence against them but these two probably deserve it, still, I want them in one piece in the morning, they still owe some quite a lot of money, and for kami's sake, use lubrication, you break em you bought em, and I can see you can't afford even those two right now. If you can't get it up, don't be afraid to ask-"
"WHAT?!" Zoro brain caught up with an overwhelming sense of 'red-alert'.
"If you can't get it up..." She repeated patiently and traumatically, "Eh, you're young, probably won't apply." She patted him in the goddamn arm.
The next thing he knew, Zoro was pushed to his knees through an opened sliding door which snapped shut soundly behind him.
His first instinct was to run far, far away and Zoro futilely tried to pry the door open with that express purpose. Either it was stuck, or the conniving bitch had locked him in somehow to stop him going after her and getting his money back. He considered punching through the flimsy door but then the image of his hard earned money flying away struck back at him. Besides, there was a large, comfortable looking futon in the middle of the cool, matted room and a basin and cloth to wash in. Zoro grumbled, internally debating his choices.
Finally he figured he had paid for the room anyway, so he would take advantage of whatever was here and when the disturbing promise of 'delights' arrived he'd just turn them away and demand a refund in the morning. He had no use for women, but a great deal of use for comfortable bed. He was too tired to do much more than wash himself with the basin and cloth before crawling into the futon to participate in the activity he liked best (next to sword-fighting): sleep.
It was just as well that the futon was soft other wise Zoro would have... zzz.
--------------
"You go first."
"No, you go first. You're prettier."
"You think so, really? Wait, no, I won't fall for that again, you should go first. This is your fault in the first place Yosa... Yoko-chan."
"The hell it is Jo-Jou-chan, if you had just attacked him from the back like I told you to, then we would have never been captured."
"We would have never been Wanted if you hadn't stolen that trunk! And Jou-chan? Can't you think of something cuter and more meaningful than that?"
"It's a perfectly good name, easily remembered-"
Zoro's hand closed around his sword, awake in a breath, listening to the hushed, husky whispers from outside the door warily. His eyes locked onto the doors, barely visible in the dark even with his excellent vision. Sometime in the night the lanterns had gone out. The lack of windows in the room (for privacy he assumed) meant he was disadvantaged should whoever on the outside wanted to attack him. Though from what he had heard so far that probably wasn't the case. The smell of soup, fish and rice confirmed his suspicions. It only made him clutch his sword more protectively.
He'd refuse. It was very simple. Refuse.
The hushed voices had stopped, leaving behind only the sound of soft breathing and the heavy weight of anticipation.
"Onegaishimasu," came the soft whisper before the door slid open almost silently, and two figures shuffled in on their knees at the same time before the door closed just as silently and unfortunately, tightly, behind them.
Zoro squinted, but all he could see was the outline of heavy, dark robes, spread out on the floor and two identical wigs shaped vaguely like ornate fans. Neither of them looked very comfortable, nor were they remotely graceful. He realised they were squinting in his direction too. Maybe if he feigned sleep they'd just... go away.
"Oi Jou-chan, is he asleep?" The first voice whispered, voice husky and low, not feminine at all really.
The other one gave a wordless shrug.
The first shifted. "Should we... wake him up or something?"
"The crazy bitch said Mitsuhara will cut our debt in half if we do this. She wants, you know, evidence. She's has freaky powers, she'll know. Plus, you're first."
The first one shifted some more, uncomfortably. "Should I, you know, go for it or something?"
"Um... yeah. If it feels good enough he might not beat us," Jou-chan whispered back, just as hesitantly.
The one known as Yoko shuffled toward Zoro like she was hoping he wouldn't wake up.
Zoro cleared this throat, "Hey, Um." His voice was loud compared to the whispers, cutting through the atmosphere and making the two figures freeze.
"Uh. Hi. I mean, my name is Jou-chan, and this is Yoko-chan, and we're here to fulfill... your needs." The voice was louder, suddenly high pitched, and Zoro didn't miss the stumbling use of female address. The frantic shuffle of sleeves signalled a gesture to either of the two... women, before the speaker bowed hastily, head touching her knees. The other one hesitated before following in an even clumsier bow.
Zoro ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, you don't you know, have to. I don't want it. You can go and do whatever it is you do when you're not... doing this."
The one he thought to be Yoko looked uneasily to the other. "You don't... want it? Joh-Jou-chan, don't we have to-" The shadow gestured violently with his head in Zoro's direction, making lewd hand puppet motions with his hands.
"Sir..." Even from here Zoro could see Jou-chan's shadow twitch. "It will be our pleasure to pleasure you." The voice tried for demure and coy and arrived back to husky.
It still didn't stop Zoro's cheeks flaming red, making him sit up, hands fisted on his thighs. "No! No. It's fine. I um, don't need to be pleasured."
A heavy pause. "Are you sure?" The voice was deeper than he had thought a woman's could go.
"Yes. Definitely. Yes." Zoro nodded several times like an idiot.
Another full body twitch. The shadow was creeping toward him now, on its hands and knees, slow enough that Zoro could see that it wasn't entirely sure it wanted to do this either.
"W-what are you doing?" Zoro stared, wide eyed as she came closer, unwilling to leave his swords alone on the futon but also unwilling to actually draw them to hurt them in any way.
And there was a hand. On his groin. Again.
"Are you sure?" This close, the voice's huskiness send a bolt of something down Zoro's spine. He inhaled, eyes straining and his mind confused over the mixed signals his body was giving him.
"Wasn't I suppose to be first Aniki?" A voice husked into his ear, making him half turn before the grip on sensitive parts of him tightened and made him gasp.
"Aniki? What?" Zoro looked closer at the two figures, at the lack of female curves and the rough, very conclusively not small, dainty hands cupping him. "You're...!"
"Yosaku, what did I tell you about letting me do the talking?!" The man in front of him, still freaking, touching him, hissed.
"Sorry Johnny, it just slipped out!" There was no more effort to try and hide their very masculine voices anymore.
Zoro, pushed at the one in front of him. "You freaks! The hell is this? Get your hands off me already."
"Yosaku, hold him." Zoro felt his arms being yanked behind his back, grunting as one was locked into place on the verge of pain and his other hand jammed between someone else's thighs. A hand covered his mouth, muffling his curses, the muscles holding him solid and lean and without an ounce of fat.
"Listen, me and Yosaku are in a bit of trouble with the boss of this inn, I'm Johnny by the way, we owe him a LOT of money, and he's too strong for us to beat down and run away. That's really, really strong since we're not too bad ourselves. We tried, we lost, badly, he'd in a completely different league. Anyway, the greedy bitch down stairs said we'd get that debt cut in half instead of our dicks if we'd whore ourselves a little." Zoro muffled a scream at him. "Cool down man, it's not like we're selling our bodies or anything, just like, one time, and then me and Yosaku can pay off our debt all legit like and we can go back to hunting bounties."
Zoro made a sound that resembled, "Hunting bounties?"
Yosaku nodded behind him. "The boss had a huge bounty on his head, up in the ten thousands, so we thought we'd give it a try, but then we kind of lost."
"We don't like men, really. All we're asking is for you to take one for the team!" Johnny implored.
Zoro shot them a glare over Yosaku's hand, growling the equivalent to, "Whose fucking team is who on?!"
Even in the darkness Zoro could see Johnny's pained look. "The inns woman knows these things, she'll need some kind of evidence. I'm a guy, you're a guy, it's not like I haven't done this before, y'know by myself. How hard could it be?"
Zoro's muffled protests got a little louder at that, his struggling limited by Yosaku's hold on his hands, and him seated on his own feet in addition to the other man's weight pressing down on them.
"Johnny, you sure about this-"
"Yes?" Johnny's hands tugged up the haramaki and shirt, exposing a line of hard, muscled stomach before trailing down to push at Zoro's pants, sliding the elastic of both pants and underwear over Zoro's arse until it wrapped snugly around his thighs. Johnny's cleared his throat, staring down at the shadowed area between the swordsman's thighs, suddenly feeling flushed and hot, and now unsure whether it was more embarrassment or shame or...
Johnny hesitantly reached out a hand to run along the man's thigh before he could change his mind.
Zoro's muffled cursing increased, though his body had tensed and frozen as soon as fingers met his flesh.
"Sorry," Johnny muttered just before his hand wrapped around Zoro's cock and started stroking almost upon impact. He felt the other man flinch.
"Hey, Johnny, might be better if you get some lube, you know, make it easier?" Yosaku sounded like something was closing off his throat, probably embarrassment. Zoro growled, low in his throat, but nodded in agreement. Johnny muttered another "Sorry" before grabbing the room's supplied tub of lubricant and dipping his fingers into it.
Zoro could feel his heart thudding in his chest, his breathing starting to hasten reflexively in anticipation as the sounds of the lubrication sucking on Johnny's fingers' echoed around the room. That was going to be on him. Wrapped around him. Tight, wet friction. Zoro made another low noise when he realised he was getting hard from this, he was actually getting hard off the idea of being jerked off by another man.
His hips bucked, his mouth opening in a gasp as those fingers finally did wrap around him, cold but then warming up in slow, careful tugs that made Zoro want to lean forward, make the hand go faster, grip tighter, trace over the head... "Ngh!"
"H-hey, you're hard. Really hard. And big. Wow. Um... congratulations."
Zoro wanted to hit him, but his limbs were still very much held back. He could feel Yosaku watching over his shoulder with wide eyes, the man's breathing blowing softly into his ear in small pants, chest billowing against the arm behind his back. The room was getting hotter, or maybe just he was, all his mental abilities suddenly pooled into his groin and the slow, careful strokes running up and down in a frustrating build up of pleasure. He wasn't going to give in that easily, he wasn't going to beg. Zoro wasn't getting enough air. His mouth opened involuntarily, panting, tongue rolling out to lick his dry lips, only to encounter the callused palm of the man behind him.
"Johnny, can you hurry up? He's kind of," Yosaku sucked in a breath when he felt his palm licked again, the tongue slowly tracing the lines of his skin like it needed something to taste. "Johnny..." The whine in his voice turned into a plead.
Johnny nodded wordlessly, entranced by the difference of doing this on another man's cock, hot and foreign in his hands, and now thrusting minutely between each of his strokes. He sped up, getting a firmer grip and nearly jumping when a definite groan came out of Zoro's throat. "Is that better?" The green haired man nodded, hips bucking again, lifting for more. Come to think of it, Johnny was breathing faster too, his eyes riveted on the swordsman's body, the ripple of muscle on his stomach, the sheen of sweat glowing on his skin, the man's cock disappearing and reappearing like the dirtiest thing ever between his fingers..
"Rub... rub the top Johnny."
Johnny looked up, and god, that mouth, the guy was sucking on Yosaku's fingers, the digits slipping inside so easily, with wet, tantalising noises. Johnny and Yosaku made a noise of their own when a tongue started to peek around those fingers, swirling and sucking alternatively like it desperately wanted something to concentrate on.
Zoro shuddered, crying out around his full mouth as a thumb traced over the head of his cock as promised, then again and again until he was nearly shaking. The next stroke felt like he was being pulled out of his body from his cock, making him groan and ride out the long, delicious tremor racing down his spine. He realised he was staring blindly at the ceiling, his head cushioned on the shoulder behind him, breathy pants coming around the fingers in his mouth.
"Hey, what's your name? You know ours, and I-" Zoro thrusted into air, and slitted his eyes open at the man - Johnny - in front of him.
"The hell are you stopping for?" Except around Yosaku's fingers, it came out more like an annoyed growl of incoherent syllables. He pulled away from the fingertips pressed against his lips long enough to mumble, "Zoro."
"Nh. Zoro," Yosaku repeated, rolling his name in a way that Zoro didn't find completely unlikeable.
"Zoro, Zoro, Zoro..." Johnny however said it like it was a continuous phrase, punctuating each syllable with the slide of his fist on Zoro's cock. The green haired man groaned, falling back into rhythm with abandon, his thighs spreading further apart, straining and humming with tension as Johnny stroked, dirty and fast between his legs.
White sparks started flashing behind his eyes, making him shudder and thrust into each pull, moaning around Yosaku's fingers. The hard heat that brushed past his hand which was still squeezed between Yosaku's thighs didn't make the feeling any less good. In fact, it was all kinds of hot, the sensation connecting to his cock like a shot of pure sex. The sound Yosaku made when Zoro pushed his hand up against him exploded like a rush of breath against his ear, building a groan of his own. The other man's thighs spread wantonly, snapping up to align against his arse like a jigsaw puzzle and suddenly Zoro could wrap his hand around the man's cloth covered cock, feeling it throbbing and hard even through the fabric. Yosaku keened, mouth muffled against his shoulder, pushing against his palm in jerky, desperate thrusts. That was just...
"Mgh!" Wet suction all around him, licking a searing stripe up his cock and there was no way he could hold on-
"Oh God, Johnny are you sucking him?" Yosaku's words were hoarse, disbelief and arousal strangling them in his throat. He could see Johnny's head bobbing over Zoro's cock, eclipsing him every few seconds accompanied by the lowest, hottest, sounds ever. Yosaku could imagine his friend's lips spread wide, plush and well used, rubbing along that velvet skin, and he just had to *touch*.
Zoro rolled his head back, his freed hand slapping down on the floor for balance as his previous captor reached around, fingers tracing the base of his cock where Johnny's lips were wrapped around his skin. Zoro could feel them slip past Johnny's lips, the tips of them brushing against his cock *inside* Johnny's mouth and that was ridiculous, it couldn't, they--- He swallowed frantically for air as he completely *lost* it, throat working around Yosaku's fingers as he came and came, those fingers and mouth strokingsuckingfucking him relentlessly as he mindlessly thrusted inside Johnny's mouth. "Nh!"
Yosaku choked, actually feeling the man come, and then couldn't stop his own groan of frantic pleasure as Zoro's hand squeezed hard, making his vision black out for a moment as his own release took him by surprise, shocking a high, desperate sound from his throat. He rode it out, rubbing and humping against Zoro's hand because nothing had ever felt this unbelievably good, his mind leaving him, spinning away in a haze of ecstasy and satisfying relief.
For a few beautifully glowing moments, all that could be heard was the heavy sound of panting.
The wet 'pop' as Johnny took his mouth off Zoro's cock still managed to make Yosaku's cock twitch and he would be totally willing if his body wasn't feeling completely useless right now, trembling and warm pressed up against Zoro. The swordsman wasn't faring much better, still gasping, resting most of his weight on the solid chest against his back. Yosaku gave up and dropped his hands, flopping both of them back onto the futon to welcome the soft press of the mattress.
"'Nny?"
Johnny cleared his throat, but that still didn't stop him sounding throaty and debauched. "Yeah?"
"Did you...?" Yosaku watched through half lidded eyes as his friend got up on wobbly legs to wet a cloth in the nearby basin.
"Uh, yeah, in my pants," Johnny whispered.
And suddenly Yosaku had a vivid visual of Johnny squirming against the floor, desperate for friction, a hand pulling his own cock without even bothering to fully tug away the rest of the kimono while his mouth worked hotly around Zoro's cock. He made a small groan before burying his head against Zoro's shoulder. Johnny was probably kneeling there right now, kimono shamelessly open, come splashed over his thighs, mouth red and used and- Yosaku shivered as the wet cloth cleaned him and Zoro up, gentle hands pulling away the wig and pins.
"Thanks," Zoro's voice was soft and deep, already halfway to sleep.
"No problem," Johnny's voice was equally soft. "Yosaku, we should get going."
Yosaku shifted so that Zoro wasn't completely crushing him, pushing the other man to sprawl over the futon. He resisted the urge to touch him some more, his limbs feeling far to watery to attempt anything like movement. Johnny was tugging him up, strong arms circling around his waist, lending him strength, and reminding him why, exactly, they had to do this in the first place. Yosaku sighed. It had been surprisingly fun, but he didn't think the guy would appreciate seeing them in the morning.
As always, Johnny seemed to know best, pulling him along out the door quietly, stumbling only a little.
"Do you think we'll see him again?" Yosaku said wistfully once the door was closed.
Johnny kept a hand on his friend's hip, both comforting and warming. "Probably not, but he was good enough to help us out, so we should remember him."
"Like I'm going to forget the guy who stole my man virginity," Yosaku muttered.
----------------
In the morning, Zoro set out from Brothel Street to storm the village for a man named Mitsuhara, beating down row after row of goons in order to get to the centre of a large stone mansion. He came just in time to stop Mitsuhara, noted for the big ass sword as long as his body and surrounded by yet more bodyguards, just before the man sent the sword cleaving down to split two vulnerable necks. Zoro won of course, aptly collecting the 50,000 beri bounty along with two tagalong friends whose names started with J and Y.
They don't talk about the Incident, ever.
The rest, as they say, is history.
---
Finis
A/N: Very little beta work, mistakes my own. *hangs head* The crack? Ate me.
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Date: 2006-04-03 03:13 pm (UTC)Lovely, DORKY crack pr0n. XDD
... although a minor nitpick, since Zoro can talk coherently around Wadou, Yosaku's fingers shouldn't be much of a speech impediment. XDDD
.... such a FUN scenario. XD;;; *had contemplated an angsty version, 'cept not with J&Y, with GF*
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Date: 2006-04-03 11:48 pm (UTC)Hee, I can only do fun crack, It's only right for this fandom, but *nurses your concept too*
Thanks!
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Date: 2006-04-03 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-03 11:50 pm (UTC)... I also have much *icon love*
*stares*
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Date: 2006-04-03 03:59 pm (UTC)Holy shit. My virgin brains are forever violated by dorkmarimosmut the likes of which they have never been molesterated by before.
SQUEE.
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Date: 2006-04-03 11:52 pm (UTC)This fic had to be done. It had to.
:)
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Date: 2006-04-03 04:24 pm (UTC)and this: "Like I'm going to forget the guy who stole my man virginity," Yosaku muttered.
"My man virginity." Bwahahaha!
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Date: 2006-04-03 11:53 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2006-04-03 07:37 pm (UTC)I second the greatness of this line.
Tsk tsk, somebody went over the word count. Somebody needs a spanking.
But, of course, something this good needs as many words as possible, and several novel-length sequels, and a Made-For-TV movie adaptation. Delicious, delicious crack, how I love thee.
Poor Zoro, all those nasty women lusting over him. It's a hardknock life for a marimohead.
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Date: 2006-04-03 11:58 pm (UTC)"It's a hardknock life for a marimohead." Heaving cleavage causes neurosis in men, look at Sanji. Zoro should fear for his life, and stick with the mansex.
*grin*
Thankyou! The made for TV adaption will be coming to an illegal porn channel near you.
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Date: 2006-04-03 09:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-03 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-03 11:59 pm (UTC)My brain is too mushy right now to write anything else. You have suceeded in melting it...
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Date: 2006-04-04 12:03 am (UTC)*posessively scoops melted virginbrains no. 2*
Thanks! *runs*
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Date: 2006-04-04 12:37 am (UTC)This was so good ♥.
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:07 pm (UTC)Thanks! *heart*
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:26 am (UTC)SO HOT.
*is only ashes, completely combusted* Guh. THANK YOU! Needed that. Oh. So much. *curls up to read again, lights cigarette and shares with appreciative Sanji*
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:09 pm (UTC)Mmm.
Your happy makes me happy. *grin*
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:12 pm (UTC)Hee.
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:15 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it!
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Date: 2006-04-04 01:24 pm (UTC)LOVELY LINT! so so much loooooove...
more pls? *spoogie eyes*
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Date: 2006-04-04 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 06:57 am (UTC)Zoro probably got his reputation... ahem, riding the backs of others.
XD
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Date: 2006-04-06 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-02 05:47 am (UTC)