Where's the Porn?

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

Title: Where's the Porn?
Word Count: 300
Topic: Porn
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humour/Crack
Disclaimer: They're not mine.



"Have you found the porn yet?"

Nami stopped outside the men's quarters and shook her head. She couldn't possibly have heard that correctly.

"No. You?"

"No. Keep looking."

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're looking for the porn."

Clearly SOMETHING was wrong with her hearing.

"Oh. It was in the bathroom this morning."

"What? Who left it in THERE?"

"Uh, that was me. I was wiping it clean after the last time Luffy used it."

Perhaps it was a dream.

"You're all too noisy, you woke me up!"

"Hey, idiot, have you seen the porn?"

"What possible use could I have for the porn?"

"Well that's true, I guess it IS a bit too cerebral for you."

"SHUT UP!!"

A nightmare, perhaps.

"Didn't Usopp have the porn last? I saw him heading for the storage room with it."

"Don't blame this on ME! I put it back when I was done. In fact, I've been working on creating a porn of my own! Right, Chopper?"

"It's true! I helped him create the porn!"

All the colour drained from Nami's face.

"Well it's not in here!"

"Maybe Nami has the porn. Go ask her."

The door slammed open and Nami glared at the male members of the crew.

"What... the hell... are you DISGUSTING PERVERTS implying???!!!"

"Oh my, you still haven't found the porn?" Robin walked up behind her. "It's alright, we can always use something else."

"Robin... you too?" Nami whimpered, betrayed.

Robin looked at her, surprised. "But Navigator-san, you know I can't resist it."

"WHAT??!!!"

"It's true, she's insatiable," Zoro yawned.

"Hey, there it is!" Luffy pointed.

Nami began raging.

Zoro scooped up the small chesspiece and threw it to Robin as the men fled the area.

"Geez," Luffy grumbled as he ran.

"All this fuss over one piece."

End

A/N: The muses made me do it. I was just a porn pawn.

Comments

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Says a lot about Nami that she misheard it that way, really.

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

She has a dirty, dirty mind.

Fits in quite well with the rest of us, really. :-)

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Robin looked at her, surprised. "But Navigator-san, you know I can't resist it."

Huh-hah! We all suspected this, Robin. Tee! This was great.

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yes, Robin cannot resist the sweet, sweet porn. And why would she want to, anyway?

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU BRITISH. LOL I-I totally think this is a play on accents, and it's been killing me for ever now - do the British pronounce porn and pawn the same??

We discussed homophones in university a few weeks back and one of the words was pawn. They're all psycho about RP (Received Pronunciation - British) but I had the pleasure of being brought up with a Canadian accent, so I'm not sure. For me, pawn is /pôn/ and porn is /pôrn/ lololol Maybe for Brits porn is also /pôn/ with a silent r!

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

Actually I'm a New Zealander. It was in fact a play on accents, as the two words do sound the same to us. I take it it doesn't work so well in American though? Oops, hadn't thought of that.

Not sure how the Brits pronounce the two words, sorry.

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

Hahaha yeah, Americans have different pronounciations for porn and pawn. The "r" is pronounced in porn, it's not silent. lol also I think Brits pronounce it the same way you would, that's why I figured it was wordplay. ^^

[dethorats]

Eheh, nice work. Poor Nami, driven insane by a game piece.
And the last line, intentional? Either way, it's pretty darn funny.

[sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com]

Dangerous game, chess. Can cause all kinds of injuries. :-)

Yeah, it was intentional. I'd been stuck for an ending, and then it popped into my head just when I really needed it. Once again, One Piece saves my sanity (such as it is).

Glad you liked it!