Poor Writing Warning
May. 17th, 2006 09:24 pmPosted more for the sake of posting than for the sake of writing. I haven't missed a week yet, including the Porn week. This week has been creative purgatory. I warn you now, this is absolute drivel, abstract crap, and OOC tripe.
Title: Push
Word Count: 289
Topic: Silent Exchanges
Pairing: SanZo flavored
Rating: PG for violence
Disclaimer: So not mine.
The unspoken words are written in his eyes; a thousand barbs and stings laced with anger and rage, but no real hate. He blocks the blade with a carefully aimed kick to the hand that holds it. It is a testament to the swordsman’s strength that he does not drop his weapon, but he remains unimpressed. He expected no less, after all.
Give and take. Thrust and parry. Blow for blow, attacks are met and countered. He can see the swordsman’s sweat shine in the cool moonlight, see the veins that track the strain in the muscles. He can see the signs of tonight’s lesson on the other man’s skin. Hints of dark bruises are the marks of mistakes the other man made; drops of blood are the sign of his own errors.
One day he may push too far, over extend his boundaries and end up broken on the floor, the swordsman’s name carved into his flesh in the language of the blade that only warriors know. He thinks about this as he pushes the swordsman’s hungry hands away from his waist, spinning into a kick that throws his affronted opponent halfway across the deck. He thinks about it as he sneers, wordlessly taunting the swordsman with everything he won’t give him. He thinks about it as the shining steel of the blade arcs towards him again, biting into his skin so cleanly that he doesn’t even feel it. He doesn’t think anymore, pushing the other man further and harder and beyond the limits mortality would impose on them.
The unspoken words are written in his eyes; this is the only gift he can give worthy of the man who would be the greatest swordsman.
He pushes again.
End
Title: Push
Word Count: 289
Topic: Silent Exchanges
Pairing: SanZo flavored
Rating: PG for violence
Disclaimer: So not mine.
The unspoken words are written in his eyes; a thousand barbs and stings laced with anger and rage, but no real hate. He blocks the blade with a carefully aimed kick to the hand that holds it. It is a testament to the swordsman’s strength that he does not drop his weapon, but he remains unimpressed. He expected no less, after all.
Give and take. Thrust and parry. Blow for blow, attacks are met and countered. He can see the swordsman’s sweat shine in the cool moonlight, see the veins that track the strain in the muscles. He can see the signs of tonight’s lesson on the other man’s skin. Hints of dark bruises are the marks of mistakes the other man made; drops of blood are the sign of his own errors.
One day he may push too far, over extend his boundaries and end up broken on the floor, the swordsman’s name carved into his flesh in the language of the blade that only warriors know. He thinks about this as he pushes the swordsman’s hungry hands away from his waist, spinning into a kick that throws his affronted opponent halfway across the deck. He thinks about it as he sneers, wordlessly taunting the swordsman with everything he won’t give him. He thinks about it as the shining steel of the blade arcs towards him again, biting into his skin so cleanly that he doesn’t even feel it. He doesn’t think anymore, pushing the other man further and harder and beyond the limits mortality would impose on them.
The unspoken words are written in his eyes; this is the only gift he can give worthy of the man who would be the greatest swordsman.
He pushes again.
End
no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 03:06 am (UTC)Even on your worst days you are infinately better than I am. So there :P I really liked the line "the swordsman's name carved into his flesh in the language of the blade that only warriors know." I agree completely that steel has its own words, its own language that screams of blood and death even at the lightest swipe of a sword across skin. You drew a beautiful word picture with that, at least for me.
*sends encouraging thoughts*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 05:25 pm (UTC)I agree completely that steel has its own words, its own language that screams of blood and death even at the lightest swipe of a sword across skin. WTF, that's a better description than I gave!
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed, and thanks for your support!
... I think I just ended all my sentences with exclamation points except this one...
no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 06:27 am (UTC)Oh just... guh. So very Sanji. *melts*
I'm glad you're sharing. Post and leave it, no matter how much you might think it reeks... it most certainly doesn't. And this is the very best kind of ZoSan fighting/foreplay... oh yessss.
*remains puddlefied*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 05:32 pm (UTC)*scoops puddle into freezer and has paxpops*
Hehehe, Paxpops!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 10:43 pm (UTC)*bonks on the head* I see no OOCness here dearest. ^_^ And as I said in your journal, if there's anyway I can help cheer you up, even in just the slightest bit, lemme know kay? x3