[identity profile] plotbunny-tiff.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] onepieceyaoi100
My computer is still d-e-a-d, but [personal profile] chibi_trillian was kind enough to let me play on hers, and [profile] mettathron challenged me to write something based on the Psycho!Sanji pic that [profile] ptps did. It was inspiring, to say the least.

Title: Best Served Cold
Paring: none
Word Count: 330 (doh!)
Rating: R for explict violence
Topic: None (shameful, I know)
Disclaimer: This is highly disturbing, even to me. Not for the squeamish.

Well heeelllllooooo…you’ll do nicely. Yes, very nicely. Good muscle tone. You’re a touch on the older side, more than I’d like, but we can beat some tenderness into the flesh. It won’t be a problem. Ah, what I wouldn’t give for a good stick of fresh butter. None of that around here, I’m afraid. Robin-chan was always fond of crisp, golden skin. But there are other ways. “Every good chef knows a trick or two to satisfy a hungry crew.”

 

I’m actually glad you woke up. Your friend over there was so disappointing; after the cutting and cleaning, all he was good for was stew meat. He wasn’t even close to top grade, and he was unconscious through most of it. But you’re gonna learn just how it feels. You’re gonna be on the other end. Don’t give me that fucking innocent look, you murdering bastard. I know what you did. I followed the trail to your campsite…garlic! Perfect. A few slices here…and here…and here…slide the cloves beneath the skin…that’s gonna be good.

 

He was my nakama, you shit-mongering son of a bitch. I don’t care if he looked like an animal. You and your friend killed him. I found the greasy bones…mmmm, lemon. All over. Stop screaming, I want you to hear me when I’m talking to you. You listening? Huh? Good, good. I want you to listen. He was my friend, and you killed him, wasted him. Mercy? Mercy?! Did you give him mercy when he begged you?! Answer me, shithead. No, you didn’t.

 

I know you’re a human. So was he. He was more of a person than you’ll ever be. And turnabout is fair play. You’re gonna see just what it feels like. Aren’t we all meat in the end? Frankly, I don’t think you’re worth Sea King bait. But by the time I’m through with you…hee hee…and when I find the other fuckers in your crew, you’re gonna be a tasty example of my wrath. 

(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-05-18 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ptps.livejournal.com
Fuck... *speechless* Just... fuck, argh, this... Sanji... you and chibi...

I think I'm going to cry. This was just so... fucking awesomely written, and the fact that it's in the freaking first person view just... argh. Fuckfuckfuck. I think that's the only word I'm capable of right now. It's so... I can practically envision Sanji as he leans over his victim with that less-than-assuring smile, with the cleaver or kitchen knife in his hand, I don't know, I did two of those damned images, but arghhhh. I LOVE how this starts off with the "well, helloooo" text that was IN THE IMAGE AS WELL I AM SCREAMING WITH GLEE HERE. Sanji's so damn merciless in this, it's so awesome. It's so... dammitthisisoneofthosetimeswhereIwishmyvocabularywasbigger but it's so fucking sadistic and psycho and shit!! arghargh T__T And I love how he keeps getting distracted while he's talking to the man... cloves under the skin, and LEMON ARGH WTF EVIL ASSHOLE. BUT IN SUCH AN AWESOME WAY. Fucker's still alive, too, argh - I don't know whether to love you or hate you for this insanely boggling piece of work - shiit this is so going in my memories. Argh T__T

"Stop screaming, I want you to hear me when I’m talking to you." <-- BEST LINE. EVER.

I should stop rabbling over this like it was meant for me or something lolol BUT STILL. T_T I'm so honored that my crap could inspire stuff like this. Fantastic piece of work.

*rereads over and over*

Date: 2006-05-18 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ptps.livejournal.com
Also, much love to the three of you. ♥ ♥ ♥

Date: 2006-05-18 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ptps.livejournal.com
HOW THE HELL WOULD THIS BE AN INSULT WTF X__x;;; I am going into overload of glee here. You captured his character pretty well, methinks, and I really like that controlled, subtle, not-too-sane rage flowing behind his words and actions. T__T bb

Date: 2006-05-18 02:38 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
chopper noooo

Date: 2006-05-18 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shuraiya.livejournal.com
Oh god. o__o

Date: 2006-05-18 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shuraiya.livejournal.com
;__; It was really well written, but it freaked me out so bad. XD;;

Date: 2006-05-18 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-otaku.livejournal.com
Dark. Scary. Sick and twisted.

But oh so filling... *evil grin*

Date: 2006-05-18 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampire-otaku.livejournal.com
I have this morbid facination with disturbing crap like this... It makes me twistedly happy.

And I don't think I've ever mentioned it, but this icon of yours is just... wow. I love it!

Date: 2006-05-18 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kikkuma.livejournal.com
Oh... oh shit. Honestly? The only thing I could think of while reading this was, "Oh fuck oh fuck oh shit oh SHIT NO." Dear Gods.

Yes, it was disturbing, but I can't keep myself from reading it over again. And again.

Shit. *shudders* I shouldn't like this so much. I really shouldn't. But I do. And now I wish to give you praise and hugs for having posted it. Fuckin'... mmghn. *totters off- smacks into a wall*

Date: 2006-05-18 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kikkuma.livejournal.com
Heee~! Hugs! :D ♥

Thinking back on it now, it also probably wasn't a good idea to have read it right before making dinner. *scratches neck* Nope. Not one of my brightest ideas indeed. Especially because it involved lemon juice.

*dark chuckle* Oh man. I won't be able to look at the stuff with a straight face for a while now.

Date: 2006-05-18 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orange-smaug.livejournal.com
Oh god Chopper D:...

Date: 2006-05-18 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lacquerdragon.livejournal.com
D:

HOLY SHIT.

<3

Date: 2006-05-18 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kotszok.livejournal.com
Oh snap. *_* One time I'm glad the other eprson in a Sanji fic wasn't Zoro. Hahahaha Awesome, I love it.

Date: 2006-05-18 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nike-victory.livejournal.com
Wow. Sanji would so totally snap if someone ate "the emergency food supply".

Psycho!Sanji is a beautiful thing, probably because out of all the Strawhats, he's the one most likely to resemble Hannibal Lecter - calm, thoughtful, with a side of cannabalism. The fact that underneath he's likely to be seething - and we've already seen him smile less-than-sane grins - just adds to it.

Date: 2006-05-19 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] via-appia.livejournal.com
*shudders*
WOW!!! Honto sugoi desu!!!
A sumptuously torturing piece of work!

Date: 2006-05-22 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fenm.livejournal.com
O_O
...
O_O

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