Unbeta-ed Evil Crack

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

I have absolutely no excuse for writing this. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but my beta's not here to smack me upside the head and go, "No!"

So, because I can...


Title: Fun Times
Word Count: 300
Topic: AU/AR, Fun Times (two in one!)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda.

Warning: AU/AR, a lot of unexplained stuff, and severe OOC that would have been closer IC if I had more word space to explain it.

ETA: Now with grammatical continuity... or something resembling it. ><



They came into the tavern well after dark, when the wind was howling to wake the dead and the lightning cut a path of brilliance across the dark sky. One was a lithe, charming blond man with an easy smile for the ladies, while his partner was the strong, silent type. He sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine for himself and rum for his partner. The barkeeper raised an eyebrow at the odd request, but set two glasses down anyway.

The smiling man drained his partner’s glass first, then took his own and faced the other patrons. His dark eyes skimmed the faces, expression never betraying recognition.

“We,” he announced with a lopsided grin that made him look intoxicated, “were once a part of the greatest pirate crew in the world.”

Most of the patrons nodded politely, certain of the man’s insanity because there was only one swordsman on the greatest pirate crew, and he fought with three swords, not one. The marines at the back table, however, looked interested. They remembered that when the Pirate King was caught, his crew was scattered. They listened attentively as the blond regaled the disbelieving audience with the adventures of the Pirate King’s crew.

“They were good times.” The blond said, smiling wistfully as he finished. “Fun times.” His partner said nothing.

The marines got up, certain he’s part of that scattered crew, and his smile turned predatory. He grabbed his partner and lunged at the marines, drawing the broken sword of a man long dead. The blade wasn't much longer than that of a long kitchen knife, but he wielded it with the ease of someone with intimate familiarity.

“Fun times.” He smiled, wiping the blade on the unit leader’s shirt and kissing his silent partner. “Ne, Zoro?”


End

I humbly beg forgiveness.

Comments

[vampire-otaku.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Curious as to knowing more of what was going on here.

Seems to me as if Zoro is physically there, but mentally not. Like, in a sort of 'living dead' sort of way. Vampire or zombie or mentally ill or something (correct me if I'm wrong)? Anyway. There's definitely some sadness as a result, 'cause Sanji's lost his nakama and is traveling with a painful reminder of such who is more furniture than anything else.

Interesting. Wouldn't mind hearing more about this one, if just to explain the unexplained. :D (And woot for the Hellsing theme!)

[shymagical.livejournal.com]

Gah, "furniture" XD (Like in Ai no Kusabi??)

[vampire-otaku.livejournal.com]

Haha, I had to google that one. 0:) Yeah, kinda like that, I think.

[shymagical.livejournal.com]

Even though I know it's not in the traditional sense, it's still hard not ot imagine using them like one would a sofa or table ~.~;

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

^^; Actually, Zoro's dead. Deceased. Pining for the fjords.

Sanji, on the other hand, is alive and well, and several sandwiches short of a picnic, if you know what I mean. His "partner" refers to Wadou, or what's left of it, though Sanji calls it "Zoro", since he never cared about the sword's name in the first place. This, and the fact that the blade is broken, are supposed to reinforce Zoro's death. (This is also why Sanji got a weird look for ordering a drink for his "partner" and why said partner didn't bitch when Sanji snitched its alcohol. )

Does that make any more sense?

[rab-rumrunner.livejournal.com]

ohhh, I thought that Zoro was alive but not mentally there also when I read this. Thanks for clearing that up.

[vampire-otaku.livejournal.com]

oOoOoOo... Re-reading the fic, it made a hell of a lot more sense that way. Whoops. But it definitely reinforced the idea of Sanji's madness, which I really liked. A Sanji who's got a couple of screws loose is almost always an interesting read.

[fieryredqueen.livejournal.com]

firstly, i congratulate you on your ability to spell 'lightning' correctly.

secondly, you keep switching from past tense to present tense--might want to go over that.

lastly, this is very intriguing and i hope you'll follow it up if the muse strikes you. i'd be very interested to read about it. though i've only ever read one story about things that happened after luffy became the pirate king and zoro became World's Strongest Swordsperson, i enjoyed the speculation very much.

[mettathron.livejournal.com]

::mega-sweatdrop:: Aheh. Well, like I said, this was un-beta'ed. I wrote it in about fifteen minutes before I had to run out the door, so I was just lucky the computer has spell-check. Grammar-check, apparently is not my friend, nor is continuity. ::Sigh::

[shymagical.livejournal.com]

Zoro: *in the underworld* The hell?! The moment I turn my back, you elope with my goddamn sword

Sanji: Let's get a hotel room, "Zoro" <3

[the-shy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Oh so the sword itself was Zoro, I thought Sanji was carting around Zoro's corpse (Eww...)

I love crazy!Sanji. ^_^ and shymagical doesn't make him sound any saner.

[wings-strength9.livejournal.com]

hah....i haven't cried so hard and so much for a long while now.

actually, when i read the last line, i burst into tears and im still crying. haha...my keyboards all wet now. amd the screen is kinda blury.

i am so fucking amazed by this. its like so simple, but you twisted it and turned it until it came out straight again.

the crew broke up...zoro died T_T so much sadness

ewwwww now my face is all like ...drippy =_= and i just took a shower toooo DX

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

I thought I got it until then end...and found out I didn't. Reading your comments though I now understand and proclaim awesomeness!