What'd'ya you mean we have a new topic?
Jul. 27th, 2006 01:35 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
yuki-kokoro.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
onepieceyaoi100Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 251 / 298 / 259
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Topic: OFF l
Notes: This wouldn’t conform to drabble length, but didn’t really want to turn into a real fic either. So you get a late ficlet trio (it's all the rage, trust me). Inspired by many things, mostly recent drabbles involving whisks and people taking stuff from Sanji, poor boy. XD
“Usopp!” His name in that tone never meant anything good. The marksman’s first instinct was to run because that was very obviously an angry Sanji. This realization was quickly followed by his survival instinct screaming that being found with recently-stolen-property belonging to a very angry Sanji would not be good. In fact… it would probably result in his immediate death. Hence the very panicked survival instinct.
“You stupid lying thieving bastard! Where the fuck is my whisk?” The voice was getting closer and a frantic search for available exits did him no good. There was no where to run. In hindsight, retreating to the back of the storage holds might not have been the best way to avoid this situation.
Usopp dove behind a crate, but didn’t have time for more. The door to the hold banged open and Sanji lowered his leg to glare around the dimly-lit room. He immediately spotted his whisk lying next to a bowl of maroon tinted goo and surrounded by pots of liquids and powders.
“You are so fucking lucky I need to get started on the pastry Robin-chan requested,” the irate blond yelled to the storage room at large “you’ll pay for this theft later!” With that the cook stomped out of the room grumbling and returned to his galley.
The new boshi potion he was working on might not be salvageable without something that could whip it the way a whisk could, but Usopp was just glad to have escaped with his life.
*******************
Luffy wandered into the kitchen only to have a small piece of paper shoved into his face.
“See this?! This is a label and you’d better not fucking touch anything this is stuck to!” He had no idea what had gotten his cook so angry but he obligingly took a step back to peer at the scribble. It proclaimed, in dark angry lines:
Property of Sanji
TOUCH THIS AND DIE
He looked around the kitchen. “But Sanji, it’s all over the food! That means I’ll sta~arve!” Indeed, every available drawer and cabinet, including the fridge, were covered in the little pieces of paper and appeared to be plastered on with that sticky stuff Usopp used to hold his boshi-balls together.
“Too bad! If it has this label on it don’t fucking touch it! Understand?!” Luffy thought about asking more questions, but really… even he didn’t get in Sanji’s way when the cook was this insistent, especially when his leg was raised like that. He’d sneak something from the fridge after dinner.
One thing was bothering Luffy though. “So… you’re putting these labels on everything that’s yours?”
“Yes.” A glare followed the statement, Sanji was sure that his idiotic captain was about to do or say something to make him even more irritated.
“There’s some of your stuff in the cabin too! I’ll go label it!”
“No. You’d get stuck to everything, I’ll go label it.” With that he turned and stalked down to the hold with his parchment and plaster, pausing only to remind Luffy: “Remember… Touching means death.”
Luffy thought he had that down pretty well so he just grinned and waved. While Sanji was off doing that Luffy would help by labeling something he knew his cook had forgotten about. He scampered off with a grin.********************************
The blond was finally calming down when he came sauntering back up onto the deck. His chest now had the warning on it, as did the extra supplies. The wine rack looked like it had been in an accident with Zoro’s swords and was now held together merely by scraps of parchment and plaster. That stupid fuck had better not ignore it either.
Verbal threats could usually keep his crewmates from messing with stuff they shouldn’t be touching and he was nursing the hope that written threats could produce the same result. Even if they didn’t, he now had an even better excuse to beat them all black and blue when something else disappeared. Either way he had something to look forward to.
Speaking of beating black and blue… He spotted a patch of green over by the railing he knew from experience to be a conveniently placed bundle of anger management.
Sanji started across the deck with a satisfied grin, but it was smothered by rage for the second time today by the time he reached the shitty swordsman. Zoro was napping, just as he had been for the last hour or so, but his shirt was now covered in globs of plaster and underneath could just be made out a piece of paper reading:
Property of Sanji:
TOUCH THIS AND DIE
“LUFFY!!!”
The infamous Straw Hat Pirate looked over at his homicidal cook from up on the figurehead, the very picture of innocent confusion. “What? I thought those were to keep other people from touching your stuff.”
*******************....maybe now I can go figure out what Ace and Smoker thought of that red hot foursome they had in
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
_paperpencil's meme. XD
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Date: 2006-07-27 09:03 pm (UTC)Aw, that's sweet!
And I just knew how this was gonna end. But as pissed as Sanji is, wait until Zoro wakes up... ^_^
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Date: 2006-07-27 11:26 pm (UTC)And yeah, the Zoro reaction is not gonna be pretty. The sad part is he'll probably be angry at Sanji too, even though it's not really his fault. XD
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Date: 2006-07-27 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 11:45 pm (UTC)and he's so hot when he's angry/angstyAnd Luffy always pwns his nakama... on the stuff that really matters that is. ...like totally blind understanding, if that's possible. XD
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Date: 2006-07-27 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 03:07 am (UTC)And Spatulas are underappreciated too, come to think of it.
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Date: 2006-07-27 11:50 pm (UTC)almost like an angry puppy that's just too adorable to take seriously... unless he starts kicking....no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 02:21 am (UTC)So needs an icon all it's own.
xDDD
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Date: 2006-07-28 06:20 am (UTC)...even though I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. ^_^;; An icon of Zoro labeled: "Property of Sanji - TOUCH THIS AND DIE"?
An icon of LUFFY PWNING EVERYTHING WITH HIS ADORABLE PERCEPTIVE NAIVETY!? Heck yeah. I could get behind both of those. ^_^
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Date: 2006-07-29 03:14 am (UTC)xD
*looks through her pics*
I'm not the best at icon making, but let me see what I can whip up.
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Date: 2006-07-29 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-29 07:10 pm (UTC)That's so awesome, with Zoro just being all "What'd'ya want?"!
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Date: 2006-07-30 04:28 am (UTC)I'm glad you like. =3
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Date: 2006-07-28 06:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 04:11 pm (UTC)......I used to. Now I can't. *touches like a touch-starved touching person* XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (Look! Now you've given me like... a gajillion chins and I'm a freak!)
Your crack dialogue wins. I really want to use the phrase "touches like a touch-starved touching person" and am frantically thinking up excuses. Thanks. XD
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Date: 2006-07-28 03:48 pm (UTC)TOUCH THIS AND DIE
XDD This has to be like... the best label ever. Because it's so hopelessly pointless because SOMEBODY will try to be the smartass and touch things anyway. XDD So cute!
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Date: 2006-07-28 04:18 pm (UTC)It will, inevitably, not work and next he will set violent traps. Followed by guarding his stuff with a knife and a crazed look in his eye (yet somehow, despite it all, he'll continue feeding everybody)...
...but for now Sanji has faith in the labels, ‘cause we like delusional Sanji; he’s cute. XD