I deserve to die for this. XD
Aug. 4th, 2006 12:20 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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onepieceyaoi100Title: Big Fat Fucking NO
Pairing: Luffy/Usopp
Rating: PG-13 for implications and very, very bad, mind-raping crack.
Word count: 300
Topic: Shichibukai (based on the prompt kindly provided by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rab_rumrunner)
A/N: Possible spoilers for recent chapters. Set after everything has gone back to normal. ...sort of.
Usopp couldn't have been more weirded out if he'd seen the shichibukai dancing in womens' lingerie.
"Yo, Usopp!" Luffy cooed at him, giggling in a pitch that was far higher than Usopp would have prefered. He made no move to cover the bits of him that were indecently presented.
"W-W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" the sniper screeched, entirely at a loss for words as he flew back in a flurry of flailing limbs and tried to gouge out his own eyes from the sheer horror of the situation. He stabbed a forefinger in his laughing captain's direction. "THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE, EVEN IF YOU'RE RUBBER - THAT IS LIKE - THE WEIRDEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN, IN MY ENTIRE - "
" - but it's funnnnnn!" came the petulant whine, and it had to be his imagination, or Luffy's voice really did rise several octaves higher. "C'mon, try it!"
"MY BODY DOESN'T WORK THE WAY YOURS DOES. AND EVEN IF IT DID, A BIG, FAT, OVERWEIGHT 'NO'. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE HELIUM FROM."
Luffy pouted at him, eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'll just play with myself" - and oh god but that sounded so terribly wrong - "and maybe I'll go see if I can beat Sanji in getting higher later."
And Usopp could do nothing but watch in complete and utter mortification as Luffy inflated himself there, and started twisting the organ into a balloon rabbit. His right leg, left ear, and third left toe already sported several unrecognisable balloon creatures, bobbing and quivering in place with each of the boy's movements.
Whoever taught Luffy how to bastardize Gear Three needed to die, fast, painfully, and soon.
Pairing: Luffy/Usopp
Rating: PG-13 for implications and very, very bad, mind-raping crack.
Word count: 300
Topic: Shichibukai (based on the prompt kindly provided by
rab_rumrunner)A/N: Possible spoilers for recent chapters. Set after everything has gone back to normal. ...sort of.
Usopp couldn't have been more weirded out if he'd seen the shichibukai dancing in womens' lingerie.
"Yo, Usopp!" Luffy cooed at him, giggling in a pitch that was far higher than Usopp would have prefered. He made no move to cover the bits of him that were indecently presented.
"W-W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" the sniper screeched, entirely at a loss for words as he flew back in a flurry of flailing limbs and tried to gouge out his own eyes from the sheer horror of the situation. He stabbed a forefinger in his laughing captain's direction. "THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE, EVEN IF YOU'RE RUBBER - THAT IS LIKE - THE WEIRDEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN, IN MY ENTIRE - "
" - but it's funnnnnn!" came the petulant whine, and it had to be his imagination, or Luffy's voice really did rise several octaves higher. "C'mon, try it!"
"MY BODY DOESN'T WORK THE WAY YOURS DOES. AND EVEN IF IT DID, A BIG, FAT, OVERWEIGHT 'NO'. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE HELIUM FROM."
Luffy pouted at him, eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'll just play with myself" - and oh god but that sounded so terribly wrong - "and maybe I'll go see if I can beat Sanji in getting higher later."
And Usopp could do nothing but watch in complete and utter mortification as Luffy inflated himself there, and started twisting the organ into a balloon rabbit. His right leg, left ear, and third left toe already sported several unrecognisable balloon creatures, bobbing and quivering in place with each of the boy's movements.
Whoever taught Luffy how to bastardize Gear Three needed to die, fast, painfully, and soon.
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Date: 2006-08-04 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 04:52 am (UTC)You are going to die, fast, painfully, soon, and multiple times.
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Date: 2006-08-04 05:22 am (UTC)Now I've got that mental image in my head. And I can't say it doesn't make me laugh like a hyena.
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Date: 2006-08-04 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 05:58 am (UTC)Plus now I get to go to bed chuckling inside at Luffy with inappropriate bits of his body tied into funny shapes. Ptps and One Piece to the
dream corruptingrescue again. ^^no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 09:09 am (UTC)Seriously though, this is hilarious. I hope he's able to untie all the knots... XD
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Date: 2006-08-04 04:39 pm (UTC)But it still made me laugh my ass off, so it's all good.
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Date: 2006-08-04 06:30 pm (UTC)More plsUh, I mean, this is obviously the product of a disturbed mind and how could you ever think of something sobrilliantdepraved you terrible, terrible person XD.no subject
Date: 2006-08-06 06:02 pm (UTC)Ahahaha...no, I don't hope you die. Maybe just get horribly mutilated...but then live, because the world needs more crack.
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Date: 2006-08-07 07:59 pm (UTC)The utter crack of this almost killed my head. I think I need to find some steel wool to scour the images from my brain... XD Still fun though. In a... weird way.
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Date: 2006-08-14 07:14 pm (UTC)I laughed so hard.
GEAR THREE IS THE GROSSEST THING EVER.