"An Irresistible Lure"

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

I'm going to spam you guys with another one of my ot3_100 entries because paxnirvana seems to be having a bad day to end all bad days and this is the most cavity-inducing thing I've written in a long time.  Comes complete with a chubby Zoro-spawn!  The concept is mostly salmon_pink's doing.

Title:  An Irresistible Lure
Word Count: 419
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Pairing: Nami/Zoro/Sanji (although Nami is likely off napping or swindling money)
Summary:  Everyone knows that the most attractive man in the world is a strong man with a baby and no mother in sight.

The green-haired man was certainly causing a stir among the female denizens of Savori Village.  He was broad-shouldered and ruggedly handsome in a way that caused them to quiver in some dark, secret way, walking confidently with three wicked swords at his side.  However it was obviously the sight of the equally green-haired baby strapped securely to his bulky chest that made the women pause and stare. 

 

The baby’s eyes fluttered opened briefly only to slide back down when the blond man walking beside them cooed mindless words of adoration in a low, soothing voice.

 

The blond was handsome too, in a smooth way that spoke of romantic candlelit dinners and lothario excitement, but the women only had eyes for the swordsmen caring for his baby.

 

One woman was brave enough to break from the flock and sidle up beside the swordsmen as the two men stopped at a fruit stand.

 

“Oh, what a gorgeous baby!”  The woman fluttered her eyelashes at the father even as she admired tiny, chubby limbs and a round face.  “What’s his name?”

 

“Kuina’s a girl,” Zoro said, his tone saying idiot so that he wouldn’t have to.

 

“Be polite!” Sanji hissed as the rejected woman slunk away.  However his rebuke lacked its usual bite as he was equally confused by the mistake.  In his opinion his precious cupcake was the baby paragon of femininity just like her mother was the adult equivalent.

 

“Hurry up!  All these women keep staring at me.”  As he spoke Zoro allowed the sleeping Kuina the use of his pinky finger to hold, driving one overheated woman to a near swoon.

 

Sanji was going to protest the idiotic assessment until he noticed that the bevy of lovelies were gawking adoringly at Zoro.

 

He eyed Zoro and then the baby thoughtfully.  A connection was suddenly made when Kuina sneezed and Zoro instinctively stroked her cheek soothingly, causing the women to sigh.  

 

“Lemme carry Kui,” Sanji whispered fervently.

 

“Fuck off, pervert cook.  Nami strapped her to me and I wanna carry her.  Builds bonds and shit.”

 

“Don’t swear in front of the baby, asshole!”

 

“You just swore at me, idiot!”

 

“It doesn’t count if that’s what you are, shit-for-brains!”

 

The women were stunned and dismayed when the two men’s loud arguing eventually came to violent blows that nearly destroyed the fruit stand they were fighting near.

 

However the baby slept peacefully through the whole fight, already well-aware that no danger could possibly come to her when she was with her daddies.

 

 

Comments

[paxnirvana.livejournal.com]

ohmigawds... for me? And cute Zoro-spawn!! And Sanji working the girl-angle even with his 'precious cupcake'. *dies* Plus... plus... THREESOME! *loves you forever* My favorite-most kink given validation. *glows*

(I vote Nami's napping in order to have the strength to kill both her idiots later when the shopkeeper sends the bill... *snerks*)

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that you liked it! You looked like you could use a schmoopy pick-me-up. Nami/Zoro/Sanji is the most fun ever even for 100 entries. Snarky, sexy, manipulative, possessive, worshipful, submissive, hot, the list of adjectives describing it exhausts me!

...when the shopkeeper sends the bill...

I didn't even think about that! Kuina's going to go from having two daddies to none in three seconds flat.

[ptps.livejournal.com]

“Don’t swear in front of the baby, asshole!”

“You just swore at me, idiot!”

*MELTS* OH GODS this is... ZORO HOLDING A BABY. AND CARRYING IT AROUND. That's so frigging cute and... I have no words. The adorableness kills me with squee. T___T b

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

ZORO HOLDING A BABY. AND CARRYING IT AROUND.

It was that salmon_pink that made me obsess over how adorable Zoro with a baby strapped to him would be. Like how Nami could pack two or three babies onto him and he'd forget they were there and go about his normal routine and they would just sleep because they're Zoro-babies.

NOW I DED FROM CUTE!

[geuna.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! THE PERFECT WORLD!!! Nami/Zoro/Sanji! ^__^ Of those two, if one of them had to have a kid with Nami, it HAD to be Zoro. I mean come ON! Green hair, man! And it's so CUTE that she's named Kuina! Nami and Sanji were probably both surprised and touched by the idea, but in all honestly Zoro probably wouldn't allow any other name. -^__^- I'm so happy that Sanji is daddy #2 rather than "out of the picture", if you know what I mean. It's totally awesome!

In his opinion his precious cupcake was the baby paragon of femininity just like her mother was the adult equivalent.

CUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! (dies)

[geuna.livejournal.com]

Btw, if I saw Zoro carrying around a baby and acting all daddy-like, I would be swooning over him as well. I mean come ON, he's playing himself off as the strong yet gentle type!

Oh, and Kuina sleeping through her daddies' fight is so awesome. I'm sure if Nami saw them she would have a shit-fit, even though she would still trust them not to allow any had to come to their daughter. ^__^

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Dude, I don't want kids and big, muscular guys do nothing for me in RL and I still swoon when I see a guy with babies. I think it's genetic.

And I think that by the second baby Nami will be used to the boys fighting like stupid-heads and won't charge them as much for it. Because you know she'll figure out a way to charge them money for taking care of their own baby without her.

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Well, in the universe I'm accidentally creating for my Na/Zo/Sa drabbles, Sanji does get a daughter that's obviously his and in the end they have a son that looks too much like Nami to figure out the father, but of course I had to do a Zoro-baby first. Because...green hair. Yes. Green hair is the shit for a baby girl.

[orange-smaug.livejournal.com]

Adorable to the max, especially the sneezing and that last line ♥. And I will never get tired of "Don't swear in front of the kid you [expletive]" "You swore too you [expletive]" "[expletive][expletive][expletive]" XD.

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Her first words are almost certainly going to be obscene. And there will be large hell to pay.

Your baby alligator/crocodile (forgive my ignorance) is adorable to the max. It looks like it's saying 'Wheeeee!' and the Mom is just staring at us all, 'Yes, he just does that, ignore him.' I want to squish him!

[orange-smaug.livejournal.com]

I don't remember where I found it so I don't know for sure, but I think it's a crocodile.

Are you going to write more in this universe? Because it sounds teeth-rottingly adorable, and everyone needs a dose of that from time to time :D.

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Let's say yes because I have the completely unsupportable opinion that crocs are cuter.

I've written a few other drabbles directly in this universe (Kids, Kiss, and Dress Up, I think is all) for my ot3_100 set (my table is on my journal a few entries down) and I have a few more written down and waiting for the free time to type them. They are all obnoxiously adorable. I wrote an angsty drabble for my table today just to make up for it.

[hypnosprostatis.livejournal.com]

UWAHH!!! I wanna babysit! XD Just... cute! Here, have my heart! ::Kuina teeths on it::

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Dancing Robin-Shiva! Sweet!

With the jaw strength that Kuina has inherited from her father, teething will be the worst thing to ever happen to the Straw Hat crew. Chopper and Luffy will suffer large!

[hypnosprostatis.livejournal.com]

Hmm... Luffy would make the best teether, huh? Kinda like bubblegum, but not sticky! I can just see her chewing his arm and then Nami dropkicks Luffy and tells her the 'You don't know where that's been' line.

Thanks!

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

I can just see her chewing his arm and then Nami dropkicks Luffy and tells her the 'You don't know where that's been' line.

*Laughs* Oh, awesome! I can see Sanji shoving Luffy in a tub of ice water so he'll be more soothing for the baby's gums. He'd do it for meat!

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

...will Kui be old enough to walk then

It's stupid-insane that I've thought out the ages of the kids, but Kui and Belle are only about a year apart if even that much so they'll both be strapped to Daddy-of-Nami's-Choice come shopping time.

'Cause you know that Sanji went home after this and attempted to wine/dine/bed Nami in order to get his own chick magnet and she wheedled presents and money and sex out of him before revealing that she was already pregnant and it was most certainly his.

And in the next town Sanji and Zoro were sex gods! Those poor, poor, panty-soaked women...

[ptps.livejournal.com]

*ded from wtfkery*

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

WHAT ABOUT NOODLE. =D

He's a greedy ho-bag. Sweet boy, though. Really.

And Sanji wouldn't have been able to stop crying from joy and he'd wander off to where Zoro was training with incredibly bloated eyes and sniffle, "I CAN DO IT TOO," and walk back to the house sobbing and Zoro would be completely confused.

I....I love you, I think. *Runs away blushing like a schoolgirl* That would be the best scene EVAH!

I can't talk about the dominoes thing because I think I'm too tired right now to comprehend its creepiness. Mostly I look forward to the day when Nami figures out what Sanji is using the babies for and makes him pay for it.

"My babies are not to be used for booty calls!"

*Cringing* "Yes, Nami-san."

[nike-victory.livejournal.com]

Nah, she'd teach them how to steal candy from babies - and quarters from pockets, and how to pretend to fall and cry so the nearest adult will give them a treat to "make them all better". They'll be little con-artists long before puberty.

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

SHE GRABBED HIS PINKIEEEEEEEE *DIES*

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Ridiculously cute! I feel shamed...

[yhibiki.livejournal.com]

XDDD That's hilarious. My favorite line is this one though:

"Nami strapped her to me and I wanna carry her. Builds bonds and shit."

Something about that... like, well, since NAMI strapped her to ME, it obviously means that the baby has to stay with him and gives him more right to the baby. Not to mention the mental image of Nami actually strapping the baby to Zoro. I bet the first time, he put up a hell of a fight. XD

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously that's what it means. Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

I bet the first time, he put up a hell of a fight. XD

"Dammit, woman, how can I fight with this stupid harness on my chest?"

"You will not be fighting when you're carrying MY baby, idiot!"

"Nami-san is beautifully, wonderfully right!"

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

*happiness beyond words which have been used anyway*

Having been through two small cubs at the strap-to-chest stage (they're much bigger, now), I can go with the "builds bonds and shit" thing... ;)

And (I figure) the number one reason Kuina isn't strapped to Sanji is because if he ends up having to fight he'd give the poor babe a Tilt-a-Whirl ride in the process. Whereas, the number one safest place to be in a fight is strapped to Zoro's back... Oh, wait... Um. Anyway. Yeah. The carrier I had required knots and loops and stuff, but I've seen 'em where they were quick-mount (and went front- or back-mounted) like backpacks...

And Zoro - "Hurry up! All these women keep staring at me." ROFL!!! Poor guy!

Plus, like Pax said - OT3! OT3! yay!!!

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

...if he ends up having to fight he'd give the poor babe a Tilt-a-Whirl ride in the process.

Oh, that would be fun! I wanna be the baby that gets strapped to Sanji's chest!

*Pause* That sounds wrong under all circumstances.

I like the front-carriers best in a total I-don't-have-actual-my-own-children-but-I-do-have-a-mess-of-baby-cousins sort of way. It makes me nervous when I can't see the baby at all times. But I figure Nami goes for the front one so that Zoro doesn't forget she's there.

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

*Pause* That sounds wrong under all circumstances.
Yes, yes it does. But that's okay, I think I understood it anyway.

But I figure Nami goes for the front one so that Zoro doesn't forget she's there.
Oh. Oh dear. I kinda forgot about that problem... *grin*

OT3! <3 *bounce* <3 OT3!

[mango-32.livejournal.com]

Awwwww....*SQEE!* This is so adorable...the sight of Zoro carrying a baby completely got me, knocked me hard on the chest.*coughs* I really love the pair and the baby. *swoons*

“Kuina’s a girl,” Zoro said, his tone saying idiot so that he wouldn’t have to.

Love this line...such cleverness with words.^^

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I think the idea of any of the Straw Hats spawning is adorable because they're all so, so close that any potential child is going to have a huge immediate family right off the bat.

I mean, c'mon, Luffy and Usopp would be the best uncles ever and kids would love Chopper to death! And he would pretend that he hates it but he'd be dancing 24/7. So cute.

[yuki-kokoro.livejournal.com]

....*squeeks!*

You continue to send me into mindless states of pure happy with this universe, woman. The daddy-vibe is the cutest thing ever and the children are such adorable balls of happy protected fluff (and later happy snarky cuteness).

"A connection was suddenly made when Kuina sneezed and Zoro instinctively stroked her cheek soothingly" Protective/comforting motions made automatically FOR THE WIN.

I can't wait for their first steps! And first words! And first kick/sword slash! there's gonna be serious problems over who gets called "daddy" first... o.O

[morriwritestuff.livejournal.com]

there's gonna be serious problems over who gets called "daddy" first... o.O

Oh, dude...the bribery and fighting that will occur in those early days will be intense...and then she'll probably call them asshole first and they'll argue over who she's talking about.

And then Nami will keeeeel them!

Their first fights! Sanji will cry for hours the first time one of them does a perfect spinning kick.

[silver-trident.livejournal.com]

"Builds bonds and shit"
= Daddy!Zoro X)

“It doesn’t count if that’s what you are, shit-for-brains!”
= Asshole!Sanji X)

teehee, apart from being Incredibly Amusing, I think you just proved how true it is that a man with a baby inevitably attracts "EEEEE!! KAWAIIIIII!!" thoughts in (most) women XD. Pity Zoro doesn't appreciate that :/ (on second thought, maybe it's for better, since Nami's the third party involved ^^)