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onepieceyaoi100Title: Do Not Pass Go (I still suck at titles.)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Usopp/Sanji
Word Count: 294
Topic: Women
He had to admit that as much as the other denied it, Usopp did look kind of feminine. He had longer eyelashes than Nami-san did. He had a slim build, hips slightly larger than his tanned shoulders. And his hair - all untamed gorgeous loose curls any woman would kill for.
Nevertheless, Usopp had always registered rather strongly on his male radar. At least up till now.
“Come on, Sanji-kun.” Usopp swatted him across the head with his paper fan and made a great deal out of tossing his stylized locks and jutting his hips, the slit of the sapphire dress he was wearing traveling even higher, into dangerous territory. “Be more confident. And stop looking there - pretend you have more interest in her than for her spherical assets.”
'I have a girl back home.' The sniper had puffed out his chest, proudly, prominent nose high in the air. 'I can tell you how to get one – and keep one.' And Sanji hadn’t been able to resist. The A-Hot-Girl-In-A-Blue-Dress-Comes-Up-To-You-What-Do-You-Do Test really hadn’t been necessary, though. He had a feeling he was going to flunk Usopp’s Chick Pick-Up Tips: Lesson One.
“Let’s try this again.”
Usopp began strutting purposefully down towards him, layered dress hems swaying softly with every stride, hair flouncing, shoulders angling in the elegantly jerky way only professional cat walkers could pull off. He sauntered right up to the speechless cook, practically dumped himself into his lap, slung a slim arm around his neck and gusted hot breath into his ear.
“Hey, stud.” The words rolled out low, dark and dusky, like lingering nicotine swirls in a smoky pub.
Usopp is a guy Usopp is a guy Usopp is a guy Usopp -
“U-u-uh, I-I-I – I m-mean, h-h-hi – ”
“FAIL!”
Omake:
“There’s Nami. Remember what I taught you, Blondie Boy. Go get her.”
“Right.” A deep inhale, a little swing of the arm in gusto, and Sanji stepped out from behind the mikan trees. Intent gleamed in his eyes, mouth quirked in a dark grin, his hair a little more windswept than healthily possible and an extra button undone on his crimson shirt. His lips parted.
“NAMI-SWAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ”
“FAIL!”
A/N: Now with [bonus art]. XD
Rating: PG
Pairing: Usopp/Sanji
Word Count: 294
Topic: Women
He had to admit that as much as the other denied it, Usopp did look kind of feminine. He had longer eyelashes than Nami-san did. He had a slim build, hips slightly larger than his tanned shoulders. And his hair - all untamed gorgeous loose curls any woman would kill for.
Nevertheless, Usopp had always registered rather strongly on his male radar. At least up till now.
“Come on, Sanji-kun.” Usopp swatted him across the head with his paper fan and made a great deal out of tossing his stylized locks and jutting his hips, the slit of the sapphire dress he was wearing traveling even higher, into dangerous territory. “Be more confident. And stop looking there - pretend you have more interest in her than for her spherical assets.”
'I have a girl back home.' The sniper had puffed out his chest, proudly, prominent nose high in the air. 'I can tell you how to get one – and keep one.' And Sanji hadn’t been able to resist. The A-Hot-Girl-In-A-Blue-Dress-Comes-Up-To-You-What-Do-You-Do Test really hadn’t been necessary, though. He had a feeling he was going to flunk Usopp’s Chick Pick-Up Tips: Lesson One.
“Let’s try this again.”
Usopp began strutting purposefully down towards him, layered dress hems swaying softly with every stride, hair flouncing, shoulders angling in the elegantly jerky way only professional cat walkers could pull off. He sauntered right up to the speechless cook, practically dumped himself into his lap, slung a slim arm around his neck and gusted hot breath into his ear.
“Hey, stud.” The words rolled out low, dark and dusky, like lingering nicotine swirls in a smoky pub.
Usopp is a guy Usopp is a guy Usopp is a guy Usopp -
“U-u-uh, I-I-I – I m-mean, h-h-hi – ”
“FAIL!”
Omake:
“There’s Nami. Remember what I taught you, Blondie Boy. Go get her.”
“Right.” A deep inhale, a little swing of the arm in gusto, and Sanji stepped out from behind the mikan trees. Intent gleamed in his eyes, mouth quirked in a dark grin, his hair a little more windswept than healthily possible and an extra button undone on his crimson shirt. His lips parted.
“NAMI-SWAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ”
“FAIL!”
A/N: Now with [bonus art]. XD
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 04:55 pm (UTC)...uh, I mean, I usually hate drag-fics, but this one was made of sparkle and win.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 05:14 pm (UTC)Sanji will always FAIL at that. XDD
I agree! WHAT KIND OF CRACK IS THIS?
AND WE DEMAND MORE
GIRL!USOPP!!no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 05:41 pm (UTC)Usopp wins, Sanji loses so, so much XD.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 06:09 pm (UTC)XD I so hope you win with this one. Usopp shouting 'fail' at a hopeless love-cook, Ussop in a dress for goodness sake... It was so funny that I couldn't help but crack up at the craziness of it all.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 06:39 pm (UTC)I've always been of the opinion that Usopp was the male strawhat that would look best in ladies' clothing (he habitually carries a handbag, after all...) and I've always longed for "untamed gorgeous loose curls" like his since I was a little girl - so jealous! XD
no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 07:18 pm (UTC)I can live with the omake though. ♥
no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 10:12 pm (UTC)...Usopp in a dress is waaaaay more enticing a thought than it probably should be. (I bet he would look gorgeous in blue, too.)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-22 12:22 pm (UTC)