Everybody's heard one...
Sep. 27th, 2006 11:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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onepieceyaoi100Title: 'Creation Stories'
Topic: myth
Word Count: 300 (+60)
Rating: PG
Pairing: implies ZoroxSanji
Disclaimer: Characters and setting? Not mine. Probably just as well. Here, have them back...
Summary: Luffy has a question and solicits the opinions of his crew.
Excuse: Um. No, not really. No excuse for this.
Notes: Usopp's story is adapted from the folktales of Urk (which was originally an island in the Zuider Zee and has been part of the mainland Netherlands since 1939 when a dike was built to connect it to the shore). Zoro's tale is based on the Japanese legend. Nami's and Sanji's are taken from different European tales. Chopper's, too.
~~~
Zoro woke to find Luffy crawling around him. Looking for something. In Zoro's lap. And haramaki. Down his shirt? Alright, that was it. Nobody yanked on the earrings.
"Luffy, what are you doing?"
"Looking for a baby."
"A what?!"
"Nami said you found them in cabbage patches, and since Sanji calls you a cabbage-head I thought --"
Uh, huh. Right.
"Oi. You believed her? Everybody knows you gotta split a giant peach open to find a baby."
"A peach?"
"I think Sanji might have so--"
"Oh, Saaaanjiiii!!! Do you have any peaches?"
A muffled conversation, which presumably explained Luffy's quest. Then Luffy came bounding out under his own steam, screeching something about storks, and shot himself up to the crows' next.
Where he collided with Usopp.
More muffled conversation. First Luffy's voice, and then Usopp laughed, and began speaking. In his story-telling voice. Finally, Luffy bounced solemnly down to the deck and trudged back over to Nami.
Zoro, curious, wandered over close enough to overhear.
"Ommelbommelstein, Luffy? I've never heard of it, and it's not on any of my maps."
"Usopp says it's where babies come from. It's a big rock in the middle of the ocean, and his father brought him back from there after he found the key while he was a pirate."
"Ah. I still don't see why you asked, though."
"Just wondering," Luffy explained. "I always thought they came from sex."
Zoro smacked his forehead. Nami bashed hers on the table.
Sanji, who'd just come out of the galley with a tray, stopped dead in his tracks, and stuttered, "Zoro? Why didn't you tell me..." Then he fainted.
Nami blinked. Added up facts. And followed Sanji into unconsciousness.
Luffy stared. "Oi, Zoro? Didn't tell him what?"
Zoro sighed. This was going to be... interesting.
* * *
Omake
"Well, when I was a very little reindeer, we used to find new babies under the gooseberry bushes and thought that was where they came from. But it turns out their mothers had just gone there to birth them, and then left them there to rest because it was safe cover. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just wondering. Thanks, Chopper."
Topic: myth
Word Count: 300 (+60)
Rating: PG
Pairing: implies ZoroxSanji
Disclaimer: Characters and setting? Not mine. Probably just as well. Here, have them back...
Summary: Luffy has a question and solicits the opinions of his crew.
Excuse: Um. No, not really. No excuse for this.
Notes: Usopp's story is adapted from the folktales of Urk (which was originally an island in the Zuider Zee and has been part of the mainland Netherlands since 1939 when a dike was built to connect it to the shore). Zoro's tale is based on the Japanese legend. Nami's and Sanji's are taken from different European tales. Chopper's, too.
~~~
Zoro woke to find Luffy crawling around him. Looking for something. In Zoro's lap. And haramaki. Down his shirt? Alright, that was it. Nobody yanked on the earrings.
"Luffy, what are you doing?"
"Looking for a baby."
"A what?!"
"Nami said you found them in cabbage patches, and since Sanji calls you a cabbage-head I thought --"
Uh, huh. Right.
"Oi. You believed her? Everybody knows you gotta split a giant peach open to find a baby."
"A peach?"
"I think Sanji might have so--"
"Oh, Saaaanjiiii!!! Do you have any peaches?"
A muffled conversation, which presumably explained Luffy's quest. Then Luffy came bounding out under his own steam, screeching something about storks, and shot himself up to the crows' next.
Where he collided with Usopp.
More muffled conversation. First Luffy's voice, and then Usopp laughed, and began speaking. In his story-telling voice. Finally, Luffy bounced solemnly down to the deck and trudged back over to Nami.
Zoro, curious, wandered over close enough to overhear.
"Ommelbommelstein, Luffy? I've never heard of it, and it's not on any of my maps."
"Usopp says it's where babies come from. It's a big rock in the middle of the ocean, and his father brought him back from there after he found the key while he was a pirate."
"Ah. I still don't see why you asked, though."
"Just wondering," Luffy explained. "I always thought they came from sex."
Zoro smacked his forehead. Nami bashed hers on the table.
Sanji, who'd just come out of the galley with a tray, stopped dead in his tracks, and stuttered, "Zoro? Why didn't you tell me..." Then he fainted.
Nami blinked. Added up facts. And followed Sanji into unconsciousness.
Luffy stared. "Oi, Zoro? Didn't tell him what?"
Zoro sighed. This was going to be... interesting.
* * *
Omake
"Well, when I was a very little reindeer, we used to find new babies under the gooseberry bushes and thought that was where they came from. But it turns out their mothers had just gone there to birth them, and then left them there to rest because it was safe cover. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just wondering. Thanks, Chopper."
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 03:26 pm (UTC)Haha, it was great to picture Luffy crawling all over Zoro looking for a baby, and then to ask the entire crew where babies came from. Especially when he already knew, lol. I'm curious as to what Sanji thought Zoro didn't tell him...
no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 01:50 pm (UTC)(I was thinking, the whole sex/baby thing, but, y'know, it's Sanji, so... )
no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 01:53 pm (UTC)And, yes, Zeff has obviously forgotten to give Sanji the lecture about *why* ladies are *special*... ;)
(And Chopper *does not thank you AT ALL* for thinking he is cute!!!!) *grins*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 04:41 pm (UTC)Other than that, LOL Luffy checking around in Zoro's shirt and haramaki is awesome.
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Date: 2006-09-27 04:44 pm (UTC)Though I still don't get what Sanji was trying to say. That bit is too confusing for me. EXPLAIN PLS
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Date: 2006-09-27 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 01:56 pm (UTC)Except that Nami apparently hadn't realized the boys were having sex, and thus *she* faints too...
no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 03:42 am (UTC)Poor confused man...
no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 02:01 pm (UTC)The omake? I actually pictured it as Luffy asking, again, since he'd been making the rounds of his crew. But it could just as well be Sanji asking, although I have to think Zoro would've pulled him aside (after he woke up) and stumbled through an explanation himself...
"Oi, cook, listen, about that..."
no subject
Date: 2006-09-28 02:03 pm (UTC)Thanks!