I FINALLY WROTE AND POSTED AGAIN, DESPAIR!
Dec. 6th, 2006 02:35 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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onepieceyaoi100Title: Reputation Maintenance
Rating: PG
Word Count: 256
Pairing: None. Sorry.
Topic: Bad Company
Notes: So... I was reading Slaughterhouse Five and picked up a strange abrupt writing style. (But formal, instead of simple, which came out of nowhere.) I decided to just go with it, which may have been a mistake. WARNING: Pretty much nothing actually happens in this fic.
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It was amazing what locking a leg and leaning into that hip could do for one’s air of confidence. Leaning against the side of the cabin no longer seemed necessary for support; it became just another piece of the easy self-assurance that was Sanji
Add a freshly lit cigarette and observers might start doubting how much of the blood soaking the cook was really his own. This nonchalance belied even the bloody rips in his clothing.
Sanji's pants were soaked in a dark red, as was most of his shirt. Some of it did belong to him, more of it than he cared to admit, actually.
Therefore he kept smoking, lounging, and refusing to pass out in front of his nakama.
When Zoro came over and told him he looked like he was about to collapse like the pansy he was Sanji even managed a smart reply. He could out-argue the idiot half dead with most of his blood on the floor, after all.
“Shut up, shithead. Not all of us get cut up like idiots every time we fight.” Sanji pulled off a pretty good sneer and a smooth push off the wall. He saw Zoro’s eyes narrow at the way he favored his left side briefly and the tensing of his abs. Sanji managed not to flinch, but knew Zoro would probably guess how badly he was hurt due to lack of the normal kick as he strolled by.
He’d had a lot of practice turning pain into suave confidence, but not that much.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 256
Pairing: None. Sorry.
Topic: Bad Company
Notes: So... I was reading Slaughterhouse Five and picked up a strange abrupt writing style. (But formal, instead of simple, which came out of nowhere.) I decided to just go with it, which may have been a mistake. WARNING: Pretty much nothing actually happens in this fic.
***************************************
It was amazing what locking a leg and leaning into that hip could do for one’s air of confidence. Leaning against the side of the cabin no longer seemed necessary for support; it became just another piece of the easy self-assurance that was Sanji
Add a freshly lit cigarette and observers might start doubting how much of the blood soaking the cook was really his own. This nonchalance belied even the bloody rips in his clothing.
Sanji's pants were soaked in a dark red, as was most of his shirt. Some of it did belong to him, more of it than he cared to admit, actually.
Therefore he kept smoking, lounging, and refusing to pass out in front of his nakama.
When Zoro came over and told him he looked like he was about to collapse like the pansy he was Sanji even managed a smart reply. He could out-argue the idiot half dead with most of his blood on the floor, after all.
“Shut up, shithead. Not all of us get cut up like idiots every time we fight.” Sanji pulled off a pretty good sneer and a smooth push off the wall. He saw Zoro’s eyes narrow at the way he favored his left side briefly and the tensing of his abs. Sanji managed not to flinch, but knew Zoro would probably guess how badly he was hurt due to lack of the normal kick as he strolled by.
He’d had a lot of practice turning pain into suave confidence, but not that much.
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 11:10 am (UTC)"Nothing happens." Feh. You encapsulate such a nice bit of the awarenessunderstandingconcerndenial of the Sanji/Zoro relationship without having to come out and overstate it, and your writing of Sanji playing cool is just dead on.
Also, Sanji drenched in blood is always hawt but I didn't just type that aloud, ok?
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Date: 2006-12-06 06:36 pm (UTC)I'm glad you found something in it (or even just enjoyed it) and hearing my writing described as "dead on" makes me wiggle happily. ^^ AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW.
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Date: 2006-12-06 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 06:39 pm (UTC)Thank you for the seconding, it's good to hear it worked for some people because I'm aware it came out... oddly. ^^;
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 09:01 pm (UTC)And, 'sides, Sanji is too kickass not to be able to find some other way to enjoy him. :)
As for the drabble coming out oddly? I didn't actually notice that, and I'm *still* not noticing it on rereading. So either I'm really no judge of style, which is quite likely, or it really *isn't* quite as formal and/or abrupt as you think, which is also not unlikely. And I almost typed in that it really wasn't very stiff, but, y'know. };)
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Date: 2006-12-06 06:09 pm (UTC)But just so you know...I likes it. May I call it my precious?
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Date: 2006-12-06 06:46 pm (UTC)THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING AND TELLING ME IT DOESN'T SUCK. I need to get back into this "writing" thing and maybe I'll be more likely to believe I bring rejoicing. (Not that I think anyone is really despairing... hopefully o.O)
GO ALTERNATIVE VIEWS AND INTROSPECTION! *waves a flag*
no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 02:20 am (UTC)And yes, pretty much everything
Last line ♥ "Suave confidence" is Sanji~
(If you can't tell yet, yes, I like it very much~)
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Date: 2006-12-12 02:58 am (UTC)Originally Nami was going to come over and talk to him instead of Zoro and there was going to be a focus on the "suave" instead of the "confidence" but I rather like the way it came out. He is totally both after all.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-11 05:55 am (UTC)Anyway. First up we have...hmm...Editor!Chibi.
Editor!Chibi: Thank you. I found the length of your sentences combined with your cautious word choices made for an effective and powerful product overall. The long sentences gave the drabble a languid rythem, and phrases such as turning pain into suave confidence offer the reader a multi-layered (i.e. literal and figurative) perspective on Sanji as a whole. Well done.
Hmmm...next up is Writer!Chibi.
Writer!Chibi: May I begin by saying how utterly delightful I found this drabble? Dearest, you need to grace us with more of your work, it's...oh what is the word I want here...refreshing! You've managed to not only explore the darker, prouder side of Sanji as a character, but you've even shed a minute yet potent light on the unspoken camraderie of the SanZo relationship. I'm also thrilled with your choice of writing style. It works well for you, and manages to avoid being clumsy or babble-like. Bravo!
And lastly we have...oh for crying out loud...must we let her speak? ::sigh:: Fine. Fangirl!Chibi, you're up.
Fangirl!Chibi: OMG rly?! This was like...asdkewnjuwfouwfereuru, with Sanji all like not wanting his nakama to see him all messed up and trying to be cool and Zoro seeing anyway (cause ZORO SEES ALL) and wtf he is so dumb but it's sweet and YOU GET THAT. You win at life. XD
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 06:08 am (UTC)You....
...Thank you. *stunned sort of smile*
I've been floundering a bit lately and you have no idea how much this comment means to me. Not only to hear that you liked it, but being able to express exactly why and what makes it work (better than I could've articulated). You even helped me figure out exactly why I wanted to share this scene and maybe helped my consciousness figure out why my subconscious was so insistant in it coming out like this.
There probably will be more writing from me (FINALS ARE OVER IN TWO DAYS! *GLEES*) and the fandom will have you to thank in a large sort of way. I may even mess around some more with this writing style if I can get it back.
Anyway, just... thanks. *hugs you* ^^
no subject
Date: 2006-12-14 04:43 am (UTC)Zoro notices ALL. He might not know what the hell to make of some of it, and he may instantly forget much of it, but all is noticed. Their dynamic is just so wonderful...
Thanks for commenting. ^^ (and... Welcome to the community? I haven't seen you around, but that might not mean much. ^^; )