onepieceyaoi100 | Opportunity Knocks But Once (PG-13, Zoro/Zombie!Tako-chwan, Zoro/Sanji)

Title: Opportunity Knocks But Once, or, What Zoro Was Up to in the Brief, Brief Interval Between Chapters 451 and 452.
Word Count: 311. (OVER. FAIL.)
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: Zoro/Zomboctopus, Zoro/Sanji.
Topic: Wasted.
Warnings: Spoilers to current manga, crack.

A swordsman never wastes an opportunity. A miniscule moment of inattention can cost one the match or one’s life.

Zoro tried to live by this creed in all things. He studiously never missed an opportunity to drink, train, or sleep, because if he was hungover/out of shape/tired, Murphy’s Law said that Mihawk would come along at that very moment to challenge him to a rematch.

Preparedness. Preparedness was key.

He’d been kind of unprepared for the zomboctopus, though. Its suckers had nearly scratched Wadou’s sheath, and the thick, pulsing tentacle crammed down his throat had tasted nasty and reminded him semi-unpleasantly of a certain act he hadn’t had an opportunity to perform in quite a long time.

He sliced it to ribbons as soon as it released him, of course. He was totally prepared for it and its entire undead cephalopod ilk now. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to get back to Luffy, Robin, and Franky. The zomboctopus had taken a twisting, convoluted path, and the tiny chamber he was in was featureless and almost empty.

The “almost,” in this case, was the limply sprawled Love Cook on the floor. He was breathing, so he was still alive, but he was asleep, so he couldn’t give directions. Useless as usual.

Zoro prodded Sanji with Yubashiri’s empty sheath. He moaned a little and his awkwardly akimbo legs sprawled open invitingly, but he disobligingly failed to regain consciousness.

Zoro was suddenly and near-painfully reminded of what the zomboctopus had brought up and rudely not lived long enough to finish. And he could not possibly fight off Mihawk at this very moment with a raging hard-on.

Zoro eyeballed the unconscious and likely uncaring blond and tugged at his haramaki. A swordsman never wastes an opportunity, after all.

In a different room of the castle, a tiny dog-penguin sprang to unlife and started screaming.