Short break from my CP9 kick.

[runic-binary.livejournal.com]

Title: Pathetic Excuse For a Flirt, Really, But At Least He Smells Good
Pairing: Usopp/Zoro/Sanji
Words: 300
Topic: Vanilla
Author's Note: Not my best, to be honest, and a bit meandering...but it was fun. Plus, I really have it in my head that the rest of the crew has this kind of discussion all the time. Poor folks.

“Well, he was telling her how beautiful she was and that she smelled like vanilla, and then her boyfriend came over…”

 

“Moron.”

 

“Yeah, but the point is that he’s unconscious and I’m not carrying him. Nor am I explaining it to Nami.”

 

“Yeah? He’s your boyfriend; how come I have to do the dirty work?”

 

“Weren’t you the one who said he’s my boyfriend when he’s good and yours when he’s in trouble?”

 

“I was being sarcastic, long-nose.”

 

“Try proving that in court. Besides, I can’t lift him.”

 

“Fine. I’ll carry the stupid love-cook but I am not telling the witch what happened.”

 

“I did it last time!”

 

“And you didn’t get a black eye. I was fighting blind-sided for a week last time, and screwed peripheral vision might work for Blondie here but I prefer the use of both eyes.”

 

“Okay, fine. But I’m not giving him the You Screwed Up Bad This Time speech.”

 

“Whatever. Why does he smell like perfume?”

 

“Vanilla, remember?”

 

“Damn. How close did he get?”

 

“Zoro, he has a lump on his head the size of something Karue laid. How close do you think he got?”

 

“Doesn’t seem like him. Usually he just…”

 

“Acts like a thundering dork?”

 

“Well, yeah. So he was all over her?”

 

“He was pretty drunk. Three sheets to the wind, plastered like wallpaper, soused to the gills and waving the banner of the soon-to-be-cut-off-due-to-rowdiness.”

 

“That bad?”

 

“That bad.”

 

“Hmph. Bastard’s heavy when he’s asleep.”

 

“At least this time he’s fully clothed. You remember–”

 

“We decided not to talk about that.”

 

“Right, sorry.”

 

“…he does smell pretty good, actually.”

 

“I know, right? We should get him some perfume for his birthday.”

 

“Yeah, I bet that’d go over well.”

 

“Maybe we could just make you wear it.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Heh.”

Comments

[maldoror-gw.livejournal.com]

'“Weren’t you the one who said he’s my boyfriend when he’s good and yours when he’s in trouble?”'

That's how me and my husband distribute cat ownership in our family *nods sagely*

Lol, lots of fun imagery evoked just in the dialogue ^_^

[runic-binary.livejournal.com]

...are you serious? Oh my god. That's exactly how I got the idea! My cat Meiling is mine when she's being evil and my mom's when she's in a snuggly mood. XD

And thanks :D

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I love the dialogue only thing, and how it felt ridiculously natural and snarky. Why do I have a feeling that Sanji isn't going to make it back to the ship in one piece (excuse the pun) when he smells like that? XD

[runic-binary.livejournal.com]

Because you're completely and utterly correct? :D

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Ah, so that's what that feeling is? New and shiny! XD

[plotbunny-tiff.livejournal.com]

::does the Chopper wriggle::

*__* How did you do it? It's as if you transcribed an actual conversation between the two characters; it's brilliant, it's marvelous, it's Monty Python's Flying Circus

::studies this intently and memories like a bandito::

[runic-binary.livejournal.com]

Eeee, it doesn't suck! Thank you :D I was worried no one was going to like it. XD

[silverladys9sf.livejournal.com]

That was great. :D

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

*giggles* plastered like wallpaper is definitely a new one for me, but *most* fitting... That, and We decided not to talk about that. *hee* Lovely! And *definitely* fun!

[runic-binary.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^_^

[hosio.livejournal.com]

although i think ussop is the most asexual person in one piece or at least one of the most, you made me want to know what would happen later in a threesome. im in awe o_o