Hey, baby, you wanna..?

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Title: Rewards of Virtue
Topic: suggestive gifts
Word Count: 300
Rating: PG, or R for innuendo, depending on how you read it. *grin*
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro
Disclaimer: Characters and setting? Not mine. Probably just as well. Here, have them back...
Summary: So Zoro went into town, and there was this girl in front of the bar getting hassled. He's his usual self, of course. Dorkily oblivious, that is.

Excuse: I had to go fruit shopping. There were no strawberries, but there were peaches, and bananas, and kiwi... And over-priced raspberries, but those don't really apply here. :)

Notes: Do I need to elaborate on the potential sexual implications of splitting peaches here? I really hope I don't need to explain the thing about bananas... };)

~~~

"Here," Zoro pronounced, offering up the large sack he'd carried into the galley.

Sanji glanced over, then returned to his sinkful of vegetables. "What is it?"

"Take a look, aho. 'Mnot Usopp."

Sanji snorted, dismissing that... unfortunate incident out of hand. "True enough, but that doesn't mean you--"

"It's just fruit. The young lady was very grateful."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched dangerously -- or so Zoro guessed, based on the way the narrow shoulders straightened marginally and Sanji's weight shifted a finger's width to one side.

"What did you--"

"Some jerkface was harassing her," Zoro shrugged, cutting the impending diatribe off. "Seems he thought her skirt was too short -- which is stupid, because Nami's is way shorter. After I helped pick up her bananas and shit, she offered to split her peaches with me since I'd been so nice, but... Oi, ero-cook?"

Sanji had stilled ominously at the word "peaches," and turned with a thunderous expression on his face. "You didn't, did you?"

Bewildered, Zoro replied, "No, she handed the whole bag over when I said you'd like that. She had this funny expression on her face as she wished me well. Put in some furry brown ball-shaped things and strawberries out of her other bag, too."

"... You told her what, exactly?"

"That our ship's cook'd appreciate the gift?" This was just getting weird, now.

"You realize she was offering you a... favour?"

"Looked like fruit to me."

Sanji slapped a hand against his forehead, weary resignation abruptly replacing tension. "Just... Oh, shit, Zoro, you really are clueless sometimes."

"What? What'd I--"

A pale finger landed on Zoro's lips, was replaced by the ghost of a kiss. "Never mind," Sanji breathed against his jaw. "But if you peel these for me, I'll show you later."

Which sounded like a deal to Zoro.

Comments

[obsidianne.livejournal.com]

oh. oooH! lmao. my poor dear clueless swordsman.

~Le sigh.

well we still love you in all your clueless wriggling pecs. ^__________^

sanji will definitely try to enlighten you later though

lmao. This was so cute~ly sweet. ^^

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Sanji will definitely enlighten him later. :)
Glad you enjoyed!

[formative.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!

Oh, Zoro, you adorable dummy!

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

More like completely oblivious; but when has he ever shown interest in anything female anyway? :)
Glad you were amused!

[irrelevant.livejournal.com]

Oh god, Zoro is so adorably clueless, isn't he? *loves all over you and this fic* You made me smile and feel (marginally) good about LJ, and what with all the bs going down, that's quite something.

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

*frames love* I'm so glad I could give you a smile! :) *honoured*

:)

[onikotsu.livejournal.com]

I think I'm missing out on all the implications(lived a pretty innocent exsistence before I met you wonderful people) . So from a Zoro clueless outlook I think it's rather funny watching all the peverts talk about fruit and not really mean fruit but Zoro means fruit getting everyone confused. This is grand!

Re: :)

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Mah, the 'peaches' thing was a new one for me too until recently, and I can hardly claim innocence... };) The shape is supposedly reminiscent of a certain part of a woman's body which most men are rather interested in (getting into); of course, this is (my version of) Zoro, after all...

I'm glad you enjoyed it nonetheless! :)

Re: :)

[onikotsu.livejournal.com]

ah okay now I get it. Thanks!

Re: :)

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Quite welcome! :)

[erinlin.livejournal.com]

Cluless!Zoro and jealous!Sanji are so cute!

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Yes! They are! :) Thanks!

[tucuxi.livejournal.com]

Poor clueless Zoro. Hopefully Sanji clues him in a little bit.

(Now I wonder what happens the next time someone innocently offers him a piece of fruit...)

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

Most definitely. :) Sanji is a man of his word, right? ;)
(Hopefully Sanji will also be able to explain when a fruit is just a fruit, nah?)

[carmine-eyes.livejournal.com]

Not on a wonderfully dense!Zoro, but something that could almost be thoughtful!Zoro, if actually thought about giving Sanji the fruit before he got it. Lovely.

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Thank you!

[sabershadowkat.livejournal.com]

Now this type of clueless Zoro is sweet and brings a big smile to my face. Thanks for sharing!

[bronzetigress.livejournal.com]

You're so welcome! :)

[hypnosprostatis.livejournal.com]

::was relatively innocent until comments were read:: o__o;;; ::looks at fruit salad:: AH! Tainted! Tainted for life! My innocence! My Chopper-like innocence! ::flails::

::gets over it eventually::

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

Happy ending for everyone!!

HEh heh heh...split those peaches Sanji...