This topic has awoken some dormant plotbunnies of epic proportions. =D

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

Title: The Boardroom Bully
Topic: Kids
Rating: G
Word Count: 294
Pairing: None as such.
Note: Some time ago, a friend of mine was further ahead in the manga than I was and kept talking about some character named Spandam. Every time I heard this Spandam mentioned, all I could think about was spandex. Somehow spandex became related to Spandam and from there grew all the crack speculation about Spandam's kids. *Runs*

At age 2 ½, little Spandex-kun was a snub-nosed, panda-eyed, vindictive, tantrum-throwing little snot who showed every sign of following in his daddy’s footsteps. At least once a month, in the name of “educating” him for his future post, Spandam would manhandle the protesting infant into important boardroom meetings where the brat would scream, look up Kalifa’s skirt, scream even louder and would only be pacified if given some of Blueno’s meticulously ordered paperwork to use as a colouring book. He had a vendetta against Kaku since the day Kaku had dared reclaim his baseball cap and thought Jyabura’s ponytail was the second best thing to play with after the boardroom Den Den Mushi. Just like the way in which Hattori was tolerated, no one could say a word against Spandex-kun simply because he belonged to Spandam.

 

So of course, on the day when Spandex-kun was found alone in the boardroom, silently cowering under the table, with Lucci, who coolly claimed he hadn’t laid a finger on him, Jyabura’s initial verdict was that Lucci had taken out on Spandex-kun what he couldn’t wreak on Spandam. But Fukurou gleaned the truth later from Kaku. It transpired that in her haste to clear off for a government-funded gala dinner, Mrs Spandam had swept in, ordered Lucci to pass on her child to Spandam and sauntered out again. Sat directly in front of Lucci, Spandex-kun had stood up, wiped his sticky hands on Lucci’s silk shirt and gone straight for Hattori’s tail feathers…

 

Though Spandam and Lucci were in non-verbal agreement as to keep their respective children apart, Spandex-kun was a somewhat subdued little snot thereafter.

 

Still, there was hope for new baby Spandau-chan who, according to Fukurou, had more than a passing resemblance to the gardener.  

 

Comments

[hyperactivator.livejournal.com]

Serves the little brat right. Beaten up by a pidgen. :P

[adaliseranis.livejournal.com]

Respective children? Gah!
(Although it does explain why Hattori's always getting dressed up... you know, like those matching mother/daughter outfits?)

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

Lol, yes, I think Lucci secretly spends a lot of time picking out clothes for himself and Hattori. XD

Though now you've got me thinking about all the bizarre things fanartists have drawn Lucci in, only on Hattori... O.o

[dark-kaomi.livejournal.com]

*Brain break* Lucci, children...

That kid sounds like a friggen' nightmare. I would have spanked him the first time I met him, regardless of his parentage.

The last line killed. It was perfect for the whole story.

[inornate.livejournal.com]

Pidgeons are devil creatures. Lucifer had one:)

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

Lol definitely! I am convinced that Hattori is really the evil brains behind Lucci sometimes.

[inornate.livejournal.com]

The creature of darkness controlling Luccis brain:) Impersonation of devil

[maldoror-gw.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Oh man, the kid sounds like a brat of epic proportions, but NOBODY under the age of thirty deserves to be alone with Lucci when the latter is pissed. Talk about childhood trauma.

[hinas-otaku.livejournal.com]

Spandex-kun liiiives! Oh noes! D=

He certainly is a horrid little thing, whatever Lucci or Hattori did, I'm sure it will only do him good.

And I liked the passing reference to Spandam's youngest "son" XD

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

Lol, I find it worrying how easy it was to envisage Spandex-kun. XD

I do love the idea though that Spandam's too thick to notice that his youngest son looks nothing like him. XD

[hinas-otaku.livejournal.com]

Yes, I still have the pleasing image in my head of Fukurou running into the CP9 breakroom and shouting "Spandam's new baby is black chapapapaa!! =D"
or something.

[beanchan.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, that was sooo many levels of awesome

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

Hee hee thanks! ^_^

[saiyako.livejournal.com]

*blinks* This is scary... even the thought of any woman wanting to go near Spandam disturbs me...

On the other hand, having the little brat get beaten up by Hattori is awesome. XD

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

She'd have to have married him for the money and/or government intelligence perks. That's the only explanation I could give. XD

[hinas-otaku.livejournal.com]

Plus she spotted the sexy gardener just before Spandam proposed to her and she decided that every cloud has a silver lining and accepted.

[pinkmoocow.livejournal.com]

This fic is magical. Absolutely, gloriously magical.

However... I must say... the fact that you named one of the Spandakids "Spandau" is so hilarious... I have an inside joke with my friends that Spandau is Spandam's mentally challenged brother who works for Galley-la. XD;

This was beautiful. XD

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

*Giggles* Hah hah, I'm so glad it's not just me who thinks of these of things. Me and one my mates have a similiar theory concerning Trace and Chaser from the 4Kids dub...

A part of me would sorely to love to see something written about your Spandau XD

[pinkmoocow.livejournal.com]

A great deal of me would love to write something about my Spandau.

To click here would be to see the guy we decided was Spandau. (http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l216/Frabjosity/spandau-1.png)

Aaanyway XD; There need to be more words that involve "Spanda"... then there would be a whole Spanda family tree. XD

[sparkestra.livejournal.com]

OMFG that is brilliant and I totally see the family resemblance!

I feel a need to research this "Spanda" tree. XD