Up late, yet again. Or is that early?
Oct. 8th, 2008 02:39 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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onepieceyaoi100Title: Make a Hole
Rating: PG
Word Count: 299
Pairing: Zoro and Kaku and Mihawk
Topic: doors
“I could crush it.”
“Perhaps. Although, a sudden shift within the surrounding geological formation may result in complications.”
“Like a rockslide.”
“Yes.”
“Which would be bad.”
“Indeed.”
“Huh.” Kaku drummed his fingers against the hilts of his katana and contemplated the many tonnes of boulder blocking his path. Beside him, Mihawk crossed his arms and tilted his head back for a better view.
“Maybe your cyclone displacement trick?” said Kaku. “It worked on the Fair Weather pirates.”
“I am unsure as to where the stone would set down,” Mihawk said.
Kaku blew out a long breath. “Fine. We’ll—”
“Nito-ryu—”
“—just—”
“—lai!”
Bushes rustled. Trees shivered. The boulder whined like Jyabura after a nasty papercut, then, with odd grace, it split neatly in two, each half toppling sideways in either direction. The dénouement was a sure crowd-pleaser. Positively earthshaking.
“—find another way in,” Kaku finished, once he’d got his breath and balance back. “Um. Weren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”
Zoro sheathed Wadō and Kitetsu. “I was. You guys wouldn’t shut up.”
Kaku suppressed his sudden urge to kill something. “If you were listening, why did you—”
“I wasn’t listening, I was trying to sleep. You wanted the rock gone.” Zoro cocked his head at the gaping cave mouth. “It's gone.”
Kaku still hadn’t decided how Zoro was going to die (just that it would really, really hurt) when Mihawk finally moved, strolling past them towards the cave. “Rash action or not, the stone is, as Roronoa says, gone. Shall we?”
Zoro yawned once, a jaw-cracking effort, then grinned at Kaku. “C’mon, giraffe. Time to kick some pink Doflamingo ass.”
Diplomacy be damned, Kaku thought as he trudged after Zoro. The next rogue Shichibukai (and resulting Straw Hat ally) would be Lucci’s problem.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 299
Pairing: Zoro and Kaku and Mihawk
Topic: doors
“I could crush it.”
“Perhaps. Although, a sudden shift within the surrounding geological formation may result in complications.”
“Like a rockslide.”
“Yes.”
“Which would be bad.”
“Indeed.”
“Huh.” Kaku drummed his fingers against the hilts of his katana and contemplated the many tonnes of boulder blocking his path. Beside him, Mihawk crossed his arms and tilted his head back for a better view.
“Maybe your cyclone displacement trick?” said Kaku. “It worked on the Fair Weather pirates.”
“I am unsure as to where the stone would set down,” Mihawk said.
Kaku blew out a long breath. “Fine. We’ll—”
“Nito-ryu—”
“—just—”
“—lai!”
Bushes rustled. Trees shivered. The boulder whined like Jyabura after a nasty papercut, then, with odd grace, it split neatly in two, each half toppling sideways in either direction. The dénouement was a sure crowd-pleaser. Positively earthshaking.
“—find another way in,” Kaku finished, once he’d got his breath and balance back. “Um. Weren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”
Zoro sheathed Wadō and Kitetsu. “I was. You guys wouldn’t shut up.”
Kaku suppressed his sudden urge to kill something. “If you were listening, why did you—”
“I wasn’t listening, I was trying to sleep. You wanted the rock gone.” Zoro cocked his head at the gaping cave mouth. “It's gone.”
Kaku still hadn’t decided how Zoro was going to die (just that it would really, really hurt) when Mihawk finally moved, strolling past them towards the cave. “Rash action or not, the stone is, as Roronoa says, gone. Shall we?”
Zoro yawned once, a jaw-cracking effort, then grinned at Kaku. “C’mon, giraffe. Time to kick some pink Doflamingo ass.”
Diplomacy be damned, Kaku thought as he trudged after Zoro. The next rogue Shichibukai (and resulting Straw Hat ally) would be Lucci’s problem.
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Date: 2008-10-08 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-08 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 04:19 am (UTC)It was great! A trio of swordsman, lol.
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Date: 2008-10-08 06:37 pm (UTC)Love this piece.
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Date: 2008-10-08 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 05:23 am (UTC)Aokiji yawned. Zoro followed suit. Luffy started to pick his nose and got a Fist of Love to the back of the head for his efforts. "Idiot! You got better manners than that!" Garp barked, then stuck his own forefinger up his left nostril.
"Hey!" said Luffy. "No fair!"
Nami covered her eyes with one hand. "Idiots."
The final chapter of Cipher Pol 9 watched the byplay in combined fascination (Fukurou, Jyabura and Kumadori), apathy (Blueno), boredom (Kalifa and Lucci), and horror. "You want us to what?" said Kaku.
Garp pulled his finger out of his nose. "It's a better deal than you'll get from anyone else. I'd have had the lot of you shot."
"You believe in justice, do you not?" said a quiet voice. Dracule Mihawk raised his head and met Kaku's eyes. "Is it justice that you hide here," an elegant hand indicated their rented but comfortable surroundings, "when such as Doflamingo and Hancock prey on innocents?"
Kaku's jaw tightened. Sunlight glinted off Kalifa's lenses. There was a whoosh and a flutter at the window; Hattori swooped through into the room and landed on Lucci's shoulder, settling in with a soft coo and a rustle of feathers.
"YoyoYOI!" Kumadori banged his forehead on the carpet. "We have abandoned duty, cast ourselves away on selfish pleasure and revelry! The shame is more than a man can bear! I will cleanse the stain of sin with my life!"
"Here we go again. Oi, Navy guy," Jyabura called over the sounds of Kumadori once again failing at death, "Can't speak for everyone, but if you want something dead--hell, a bunch of somethings, I'm up for it."
"Within reason," Kaku added quickly. "We'd need more intel before we agree, and—"
"Talk to Sleepy over there if you want details, this is his show," Garp interrupted. "Me, I just want a ‘yeah, I’m in’ or ‘no, I’m dead’. And make it snappy, my tea’s getting cold.”
“Hey giraffe.”
Kaku turned slowly towards Zoro. “Yes?”
“We’re cleaning out the flamingo’s nest. Wanna come?”
“Who’s we?”
“Me and him.” Zoro jerked his thumb towards Mihawk. “Should be fun,” he said, and grinned.
Later, Kaku pinpointed that moment as the one in which he lost his mind, because really, there was no other reason for him to open his mouth and tell Zoro, “Yes.”
a month later…
A shadow fell across Kaku’s closed eyes. He didn’t move. He wasn’t sure he could.
“Was it?” said Lucci, and maybe Kaku was being more paranoid than normal, but he was almost certain that was amusement in Lucci’s voice. He cautiously opened one eye. “Was what, what?” he said.
“Fun.”
Kaku closed the eye. “I’ll let you judge for yourself. You’re next.”
two weeks after that…
“One-hundred shots, one-hundred hiiiits…”
“That’s why I’m the strongest, oh yes! the strongest—”
“On your heart, lock on!”
“Because we ain’t no joooooooke!”
…
…..
“…….I will kill you all.”
THE END
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Date: 2008-10-09 05:38 am (UTC)And then Lucci. THIS AIN'T NO JOKE. XD XD XD
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Date: 2008-10-09 05:57 am (UTC)You know, this crack could very easily breed and multiply, thus becoming the EPIC CRACK SERIES OF DOOM FROM HELL *dances along with your dino*
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Date: 2008-10-09 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 01:01 am (UTC)MY
GOD
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
BRAIN-BENDING CRACK R-US (the saga continues)
Date: 2008-10-09 08:12 am (UTC)“Sexual harassment.”
“PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU SHAMELESS HUSSY.”
“Do not feel obligated to do so on my account, the fishnet effect is most fetching.”
“Sexual. Harassment.”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I’M THE ONE GETTING HARASSED!”
The captain of the Pompadour Pirates rolled his shoulders beneath his black leather jacket and hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “So you, uh, you talkin’ to me?”
“I admit, I see no harassment being committed. Perhaps standards have changed since I was last abroad in the world?”
“HELL YEAH, THEY’VE CHANGED—FOR THE WORSE! JUST LOOK AT HER HANGING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE!”
“I am indeed looking, or I would be if I had eyes with which to look, yohohoho! Skull joke!”
“Sexual harassment.”
“Uh.” The captain cleared his throat. “I said, are you talkin’ to me?”
“WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE HARASSMENT ALREADY AND FIND SOME TROUSERS?”
“And may I see your panties previous to your donning these hypothetical trousers?”
“Do you idiots even understand what sexual harassment means?”
“I said are you talkin’ to me?!” screamed the captain. Silence beat once, twice. Two blond heads—one bare, the other goggled—and one afro-topped skull turned towards him. Two pairs of blue eyes and one pair of empty eye sockets examined him. There was the sound of retreating footsteps and a feeling of empty space where his crew had been standing.
Kalifa tapped her glasses into place. “I don’t know,” she said. “Are we talking to you?”
“Uh—uh—”
“Y’know, I don’t think we were.” Paulie bit the end off a cigar and lit up. “But I could be wrong. What’s your word, Bony?”
Brook smoothed a lapel and hooked his cane over his arm. “I am not averse to a little civilized conversation. It is, after all, a lovely day for an engagement.”
half an hour later…
Captain Cresco, WGN, briefly surveyed the piles of hog-tied, skewered, squeaky clean pirates heaped across his docks, then raised an eyebrow at his XO. “What happened here, Muckrum?”
“Apparently, sir, these are the pirates who’ve been raiding all through the Triad for the last year.” He held out a sheet of foolscap covered in precise handwriting.
“What about the bounties?”
“Doesn’t mention them, sir. Just, er, something about—”
“About what?”
Muckrum stood at rigid attention, staring past his captain’s shoulder. “Women’s unmentionables. Sir.”
Cresco looked up. “Underwear? ”
“Yes sir.”
“Hmn.” Cresco handed the document back. “Well, we can’t have all this mess cluttering up the docks. Bad for trade. Sort this out, Muckrum.”
“Sir!”
“And Muckrum?”
“Sir?”
“Requisition fifty pairs of ladies’ panties and have them sent to a Mr. Brook, care of the Thousand Sunny.”
THE END (you wish)
OhmygodI’msogoingtohellforthis. Later. For now I’m going to bed. Tomorrow on THIS WAS YOUR LIFE, CP9: The Flower and The Door. (Sounds like a really screwed up historical romance XD)
Re: BRAIN-BENDING CRACK R-US (the saga continues)
Date: 2008-10-09 07:40 pm (UTC)Robin and Blueno (and you will not believe who I got for the third) coming up!
Re: BRAIN-BENDING CRACK R-US (the saga continues)
Date: 2008-11-02 10:50 am (UTC)Re: BRAIN-BENDING CRACK R-US (the saga continues)
Date: 2008-11-09 05:52 pm (UTC)Re: BRAIN-BENDING CRACK R-US (the saga continues)
Date: 2008-12-28 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-08 08:27 pm (UTC)Kaku and Mihawk are so polite and civil, aren't they? And then Zoro ... is Zoro.
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Date: 2008-10-09 12:11 am (UTC)...And I guess the guys wielding them ain't bad, either. XD
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Date: 2008-10-08 11:27 pm (UTC)And then they had sex. And it was good.I love the dynamic here, because Mihawk and Kaku would make quite a formal and polite alliance, and then, yeah, Zoro would be stomping around killing things and making a mess, and they'd just shake their heads, suck in a deep breath and press on.
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Date: 2008-10-09 12:12 am (UTC)Well, no, but they defeated many, many pirates in a together sort of way. Does that count? XD