(no subject)

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Title: On the Subject of Manliness
Rating: PG
Word Count: 286
Pairing: A Sort of Zoro/Sanji
Topic: One More Time

A sort of nothing. I'm just positive that their arguing proves their undying love for each other. I'm out to prove that Nami is a man. (Apparently. As I've done it once before.)






"Try saying that one more time."

"You're not manly at all."

Sanji was pissed.

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" He gritted out. "I wasn't aware that the moss growing between your ears was capable of intelligent thought."

"Well, firstly, you care about how you look too much. A very feminine trait. Secondly, you're easily manipulated by women. Completely unmanly. And thirdly, all you do are the tasks of women."

"How DARE you insul--"

"See? Even your responses are unmanly."

A vein twitched in Sanji's forehead.

"So let me get this extra straight," he said taking a deep breath. "You're telling me that I, a man of refined tastes for both food and clothing; a man who enjoys the company of women; and a man with body and facial hair, is less manly than you, a man who plays around with, not one, but three phallic objects; who has no body or facial hair to speak of; and prefers the company of men?"

Zoro looked thoughtful.

"I have body hai--"

"I said to speak of!" Sanji interjected quickly. "I don't want to speak about that!"

"You brought it up... Tsk. Not even manly enough to keep up manly conversation."

"You bastard!" Sanji yelled aiming a kick toward Zoro's stomach. Zoro drew two swords and they began to fight.

The ruckus drew Nami from her quarters. Walking over to them, she punched them both (leaving visibly large bumps steaming on their heads), and then walked back towards her room, muttering that map making cannot be done when there is loud idiocy to be heard.

Zoro and Sanji glanced at each other and perhaps silently agreed that Nami was manlier (and more violent) than all men.






I wanted to write something and ended up just messing around with something I had already written. *is lame*

Comments

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

Secondly, you're easily manipulated by women. Completely unmanly.

Haha, Zoro is SOOO gay for not realising the falseness of that statement!

ZING! You tell him Sanji.

Hiliarious work here.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Thaaaanks. Zoro's just trying to convince Sanji he's gay for his own sake.

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

Nami's more of a man than either of them.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

She scares Zoro... that's not something easily accomplished.

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

I can't believe Sanji's nto afraid. He's always spouting nonsense like "Nami looks so beautiful when she's furious!" and other crap. I'm pretty scary and I know that I'd be running from her. Or maybe getting tips.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Is Sanji afraid? Afraid of not being loved, but I doubt he could tell...

I think that if Sanji were to be beaten within an inch of his life by Nami he'd just sigh dreamily and say, "Ahh, the violent Nami is enticing too."

Nami can stop hurricanes. In more ways than one.

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

Sanji just needs to calm down. Sometimes I'm actually embarrassed for him. He gets all wiggly and weird and I'm like c'mon Sanji, you're acting like a tard. Nobody wants to see a grown man wiggle like that. Makes me wanna throw up.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say that that in particular makes me want to throw up per se, but I definitely don't like the Sanji that can't beat enemy womenfolk. He's really got to work on that because it pisses me off.

And this is unrelated, but do you mind if I friend you? (I always ask nowadays)

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

That bugs me too. I don't like being all feminist and stuff but I hate when a guy won't hit me just 'cause I'm a girl. I just think that it's so stupid when Sanji acts like that. I know it's his character and stuff but why does he do that? It's a good thing Zoro had Kuina when he was younger to teach him that girls are strong too.

Yeah! I'll friend you too! I'm always embarrassed to friend people first because I'm just weird like that. I would ask but I get embarrassed about that too lol.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Maybe Sanji's just there to prove that there are human aspects about the Straw Hats. That each and every one of them has some kind of weakness. Sanji just happens to be an idiot about women. And, lol --> "Zoro: Manly enough to hit girls (if need be)." Zoro's a believer in the strength of people. If a woman were the current strongest, he'd go kick her ass for the title.

I don't know how to go about really making friends so I'm trying the asking approach. I think it's working.

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

Now I'm trying to figure out all their weaknesses. I tried to figure out which deadly sin each strawhat is (I don't know why) and here's what I came up with:
Zoro - Sloth
Sanji - Lust
Nami - Greed
And then I couldn't think of anymore...

So far everyone has just friended me without asking and I just figure more friend equals good so I'd friend 'em right back. The only person I think I've asked to friend was lys_cookie but she's so crazy that I didn't even think twice about it.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Franky - (Manly) Pride
Luffy - Gluttony (Sort of...)

Or something.

lys_cookie is freakin' awesome. I did the same thing. X3

[ohsnap9292.livejournal.com]

The Luffy one should have been obvious. I'm kind of slow sometimes lol.

lys_cookie is amazing. I can have nonsensical conversations with her over the strangest stuff and our comments always run off the page.

lol I was just looking at the 7 heavenly virtues and one site said justice. I immediately thought of Smoker. It's probably a bad sign when you're starting to mix religion with comics.

[horusguard76.livejournal.com]

LOL! Manly Nami to the rescue! Ahoy!

I liked it. Very funny. :)

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Manly!Nami conquers all.

[yume76.livejournal.com]

funny and cute. but the part about nami was the funniest. of course (as my brother pointed out) nami is a capable beast/demon (luffy, zoro and sanji) handler. so natuarally she'd be the strongest.

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's so encouraging to get comments on stuff like this. ^_^

Nami's brain is her most powerful weapon. She outsmarts the best of them.