Cooking with Zoro

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Title: Cooking with Zoro
Rating: G
Word Count: Almost 2000 - funny story behind this - yes it was originally an idea from the prompt this week (Restrained Sanji) and so therefore, I'd like to post it here but I couldn't stop writing it and it IS too long to be entered - So I won't be entering it just felt you all deserved it for all the hard work you guys put in entertaining each other every week :)

tl;dr story too long, funny but not entered this week

Pairing: ZoSan Nakamaship - kinda - actually I've got no idea
Topic: Restrained Sanji (and boy is he!)

First time writing for One Piece - and just couldn't leave this prompt alone - warnings for weird POV too

 

Breathe, just fucking breathe.

 

Sanji’s lips quirked together slightly, nostrils flaring as he watched the idiot marimo practically coat his entire hand in the salt bowl.  The recipe had called for a pinch or two, but the shitty swordsman’s fingers were so thick and calloused that after his ‘pinch’ there didn’t seem to be much salt left.  Zoro snorted at the salt remaining on his hand and dusted the excess off on his pants.

 

Sanji swallowed and pressed his lips further together in a thin line of restraint, eyes watching the unfolding horror before him yet unable to do anything about it.

 

When Nami had come and asked him to let Zoro use the kitchen, he’d had more than reservations about it, he’d protested more than twice until she’d actually made eye contact with him and he’d fluttered away in a river of hearts.  It was only after reaching the gallery that he’d realized exactly what her request had meant.  It entailed letting the shit swordsman at his kitchen with <i>no</i> intervention.  He couldn’t even make suggestions, let alone point out if he was doing something wrong.  She’d said to just let Zoro do what he wanted and not to interfere.

 

So here he was, leaning up against the bench, arms crossed, smoking feverishly and watching his stores being decimated.

 

Zoro inelegantly dropped the condiment into the mixing bowl in front of him, no grace, no respect whatsoever and Sanji shifted his feet slightly, arms uncrossing to fist  his hands in his pockets, clenching his teeth.

 

This wasn’t cooking, it was an assault on everything he’d ever held dear.

 

He watched as a thick, dirty finger found the next line in the recipe book, most likely caking the page with moss-germs, watched Zoro squint at the page and bit the filter of his smoke so he wouldn’t ask if the marimo coulld actually read.

 

Zoro nodded to himself and then cracked an egg absently against the side of the bench.  Sanji felt his eyebrow shift skyward for a second as Zoro broke it one handed over the bowl, with little or no shell falling into the container but any respect he’s momentarily gained was lost when the swordsman picked up a wooden spoon and took to the mixture like he was bent of defeating a horde of marines.

 

Sanji had never seen such vicious and single-minded stirring before.  If he hadn’t been so pissed, it would have been terrifying.

 

Batter flew everywhere and the marimo’s wrist was soon coated in lumps of soggy, wet and unmixed flour, the bench beginning to suffer the same fate.  Zoro, deciding the spoon was more a hindrance to his epic battle than a help, abandoned the utensil in the sink and dove back in with his bare, unwashed hand.

 

That did it.

 

Sanji bit his cigarette in half, unable to hold back anymore.

 

A kick landed high up on the swordsman’s neck, grazing his face and pushing him away from the bench.  Batter flew everywhere from the overturned bowl as the sticky contents spilled across the countertop and onto the floor.  Sanji twitched at the wastage, restraint snapping completely.

 

Zoro stumbled back and glared at the cook, wiping his face with the back of his wrist, unknowingly leaving a smear of flour across his cheek.

 

“Oi!  Shit-cook!  What do you think you’re doing?”

 

“You…you’re..!”  Sanji had no words for this outrage on his kitchen.  He wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.  “You’ve really got no idea what the fuck you’re doing, how to cook, do you?  How the hell did you survive for so long before…”  He cut off suddenly, furiously stuffing another cigarette between his lips and lighting it with a snapped off gesture.  Sanji didn’t want to say ‘me’, it implied too much responsibility for the marimo’s welfare.  He took a hurried puff and gestured at the mess of his kitchen with the smoke-trailing stick.

 

“So what the hell are you trying to make anyway?  You can’t tell me it’s going to resemble anything remotely edible.”

 

Zoro’s mouth twisted angrily and he turned away, missing the surprised look on Sanji’s face.  It was very unlike the swordsman not to fight back.

 

The marimo’s overlarge hands tilted the bowl back up again, contemplating its contents, and Sanji watched his face as an odd expression settled upon it, something almost like regret.  Zoro’s lip curled up in disgust suddenly and he dropped the bowl into the sink.

 

“Fuck it.”

 

Turning away from the sink, Sanji caught his shoulder and threw a wet cloth at his face which Zoro caught, glaring.  The chef ignored the frustrated look in his eyes, over his own anger.

 

“Oi, if you’re so useless you can’t even cook then fix your mess!”

 

Zoro wiped at the bench in an almost sulky manner while Sanji settled back against the edge of the table, always keen to watch the swordsman do his share of the work, especially unwillingly.  After a few minutes of silence in which the kitchen slowly restored itself with minimal broken plates, Sanji got curious again.

 

“So what were you making anyway?”

 

Zoro stiffened by the sink, his hands pausing under the tap where he was rinsing the cloth of sticky batter.  He sighed and mumbled something.

 

“What was that?  I couldn’t hear over your shitty excuse for cleaning.  And don’t waste the water, idiot.”

 

Zoro turned the tap off and threw the cloth in the sink, finally done.  He turned, stalking past the cook, not answering.  Sanji put out a foot to stop him.  The swordsman pressed forward until the cook’s foot was pressed up against his chest.

 

“Oi!”  Sanji glared warningly.

 

Zoro clenched his teeth and met the cook’s gaze, then looked away.  Sanji continued to be surprised by this new marimo that backed down and then actually answered his question.

 

“Wanted to make a cake.”  He muttered.

 

Feeling that the explanation sufficed, Zoro tried to continue past, but Sanji’s foot was insistant, stubborn against his chest.  “What?  Why make a cake?”

 

Zoro’s jaw clenched and Sanji raised his eyebrow at the vein that made the marimo’s frustration visible on his temple.

 

“It’s your birthday tomorrow.”

 

Sanji’s cigarette drooped from his lip, in danger of falling out completely and burning his suit.  He’d honestly forgotten.  Nobody ever celebrated his birthday, even back on the Baratie and it had always just been another day.  Why the marimo of all people suddenly decided it needed celebrating, he couldn’t understa-…

 

 

“You never got a cake last year.”  Zoro jabbed out in short, clipped sentences, still not looking at him.  “You spend all your time looking after us.  I thought it was time someone did something for you.

 

Sanji’s leg dropped away, silently granting permission and Zoro strode towards the door.  Sanji heard the squeak as it swung outwards and his mouth opened without him even realizing it.

 

“Oi, Marimo.”

 

Zoro had paused in the doorway.  “Yeah, shit-cook?”

 

Sanji took another deep drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out on the heel of his shoe.  “Thanks.”

 

“Don’t mention it.”

 

Sanji allowed himself a small smile as the door swung closed.

Comments

[sanji-x-zoro.livejournal.com]

hey that was really sweet ^^ very well written. good job!

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Haha thanks! Good to know it's not a complete pile of awful-sauce! :D

[ilostmynuts.livejournal.com]

Awwww... Zoro's so sweet. And who *would* make Sanji his birthday cake, anyway?

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Haha I just got stuck with the image of Sanji hopping around someone as they tried to use his kitchen and wanting to intervene but being unable too....the most annoying person to be doing this I figured would be Zoro :P And I'm a sucker for OOC fluff XD

Thanks for such an awesome prompt this week too! Sanji needs MORE LOVE (even though he gets enough already! Haha)

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

AWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Super awesome!

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *is secretly pleased that you like it, more so than I logically should be* lol

[driftingforward.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Have some food-poisoning!

That's just adorable. ^_^

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Haha yeah, it wouldn't have been to wise to actually eat it if he'd actually cooked it I'm thinking!

[vulpus-mirus.livejournal.com]

Oh my God. I died so hard when Zoro was making a mess in the kitchen. Sanji's thoughts were so funny.

Ah, poor Zoro though. He had to tell Sanji what he was doing on top of not getting it done.

Really cute. Thank you for posting this.

[hellagoddess.livejournal.com]

Haha go go embarrassment on top of humiliation! I feel a bit sorry for them both really :P

[flo-bizet.livejournal.com]

Oh gawd! This is JUST like how I am when my brother and sister try to cook. It's the most horrifying, annoying, teeth grinding experience to watch and I'm not suppposed to say anything or else they'll be pissed at me but I can't just LEAVE because I need to know what they're putting in that batter or doing with the stove and...! UGH! Just reading this had me gritting my teeth and clenching my fists, it's dead on with Sanji!

But poor Zoro! I figured he was making a cake but it still had me "aaaw!"-ing and squeaing, too cute! Oh, Zoro. Homemade cakes can be rather complicated, you should've stuck with a box mix! (mind you, I bet those things are banned from Sanji's kitchen XP)