onepieceyaoi100 | Enter: Strawhats! | Sanji | PG

Title: Enter: Strawhats!
Rating: PG
Word Count: A lot.
Character: Sanji
Topic: AU
Notes: For

sybile who drew me ACE. I think I'll keep this AU around to play in for future OPY100 entries because it's just... so much fun. IDEK, guys, writing hasn't been this much fun in a long time.

Enter: Strawhats!

In a world of seastone bank vaults and haki sensors, airplanes and gasoline-powered ships, GPS and satellite imaging, there is one region where technology fails: The Grand Line. It's the one place the long arm of the World Government has yet to completely grasp. Devil Fruit users and men with overwhelming haki keep it a haven for freedom and dreams. Twenty-two years ago, Gold Roger charged the new age with doing what technology couldn't: find Raftel and Onepiece!

People from the mainland, what little of it surrounded East Blue in any case, wondered how piracy could possibly continue in "This Day and Age." But to Blackleg Sanji, the answer was easy: technology had yet to beat out nature and if his own two legs could beat the shit out of DF users when the new fangled gadgets couldn't... Well, he didn't think technology would catch up any time soon.

And there was certainly no way technology could ever overshadow nature's most perfect creatio- Debra, the floor manager slash accountant slash woman who kept the BUSINESS aspect of the Baratie afloat whacked him across the back of the head with a menu.(The shitty old man had tried to send her back to the temp agency after the WG's tax audit, but Sanji's argument that they now made a profit outweighed Zeff's superstitions.) While ignoring Sanji's crooning apologies, she then used the menu ("Debra-san is so versatile!") to point to a group of pirates waiting to order.

He was about to complain, for the tenth time this week, that he was not, in fact, a waiter, but the site of the red-headed beauty in the party knocked his protests into the water even faster than Debra's menu. He floated to their table on a cloud of happiness and after properly seeing to the fair flower in the weeds, Sanji gave a grain of his attention to the scum apparently traveling with her.
"A bit dated, don't you think?" Sanji said, kicking the green lump's three scabbards. The response came immediately, two of the swords drawn and ready to strike.

"You wanna see just how dated these are, shit cook?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but Patty's chunky hand clapped over his mouth.

"Of course not, Sir! He was just joking around! The costumer is king here, afterall!" He emphasized each statement by squeezing down on Sanji's face.

Before Sanji could thoroughly kick the bastard's ass for getting into his fight, Debra flew in and whispered so lovingly in his ear. "Are you retarded? I still haven't convinced the old man to retrofit this place with seastone yet! The stupid rubber brat nearly took out a support beam! This guy can probably sink this shitty boat with one strike and then where will you be?"

Sanji cooed hearts at Debra and the redhead as he danced back to the kitchen to gather the most divine entree he could for the red-haired angel. With such a beauty at his table, even Don Krieg showing his ugly mug with his entire crew wouldn't be able to bring down Sanji's day.